How much of an age difference is too much?

I'm out and about and dating a bit.
I often feel weird and somewhat perverted dating someone much younger than me.
But at the same time, if I want kids "au naturale" then I can't really date 45+ ...the rules mother nature set up suck.

I guess it's no one's business but my own...still I get the sensation of "eyes" on me from others.
That and it makes it more difficult to find ladies who're willing to date older men.
Thank god I don't look my age. (at least that's what others say...)

 

OK...this is me...3 years into the dating game (again)

It's NOT age...it's attitude.
I've had the opportunity in the past few to date all age ranges (with or without kids)
Some have their shit together
Some don't
Some younger people have got it all together...some older ones are flakier than hell. (much less insanity, financial, responsibility, consideration, kindness and other factors)

Don't even get me into some of the bullshit that some of the older ones did. (including simply just not showing up...then 2 weeks later asking "what happened"??)

And my time with the younger ones (who ask ME out, not I them) are influenced by all their friends and family who've never met me saying "Why?? He's old Eww"
And yes...the ladies are slowly pushed away from me...halfly because they doubt themselves, half because I only have so much patience with someone who on our dates constantly asks, "WHY??"
It should be simply us spending time together, getting to know each other...having something called a "relationship" y'know??

Now...just from circumstance, focus and how the way things flowed.
The last three "long term" interests I was involved with were in their 20's (25, 28 and now strangely 23)
This is NOT because I'm "into" younger ladies...because I attempt to get things going with women in their 30's and 40's too (I do have "limits" in age just because of my personal desire to have kids...my OWN kids)

The first...was going great until her friends and family influenced her. (we're still friends)
The 2nd...was nice and sweet until I moved her in and she got a job in another city and became petty, selfish and demanding...a whole other person)
The current...she came in out of the blue...from me just being friends to getting more intense...however, I'm questioning it because she's not "available", there's a distance...I just want someone TO BE WITH ME. (god forbid)

Again, this is not because I didn't try with older or prefer younger.
Hell...
I just want someone who likes me, I like them, they LIKE sex, want to have kids...and are sane, responsible and kind.

Europe doesn't seem to have as much trouble with a age gap.
Or am I wrong??

Can't we just get along?
Without others being titillated or judging
Life is hard enough as it is.
Finding someone to stick around (without settling) is damn hard too.

 

Wow, back in the days when I still signed my posts like a letter. Anyway, here we are still together six years later, ages 41 (me, next week) and 51 (him, in Febr) and mostly happy. I knew by the third date that he was a keeper. Sex was a little strained at first, because he had been married to, and widowed from, a woman with no sexual appetite.

Some of the men of TFP can relate, eh.

He was somewhat tentative when we did it on the third date, but all the parts worked well, so, as the old business adage goes, hire for character and train for skill, and a few years later, here we are! He fucks like a rabbit and eats pussy like a lesbian. He's also a practicing, responsible adult in every way that matters to me. Our biggest conflict, really, is my aversion to flying in an airplane. He's really frustrated with that.

Yeah, I had a couple of goes with guys in their late twenties when I was sixteen. Weird.

Fortunately, neither Sig nor I are much into being on the bleeding edge of pop music and culture. He likes Euro techno and I like punk and old swing music. We both love jazz and classical. We both prefer listening to music and reading to watching TV. He's a Swede that loves NewMex and TexMex, and I'm from Kansas and love seafood. A marriage made in heaven, but, we're not married.

 

Quite frankly, I think the age gap "issue" is more about what people think is "appropriate" and sexual limitations...than ANY natural cause.

Mother Nature doesn't care...it either works, literally...or it doesn't.
Chance factors in...some people want it, some don't...some are comfortable with sex, some aren't...and they often cannot admit either to themselves, much less others.
Society/Culture/Tradition/Law - where ever it is where you are also comes into play. (some places accept an age gap...some do not)

In truth...it works or it doesn't
Age only comes into play when the person is literally TOO young to correctly have a relationship and sex...and if their bodies have gotten to ill or old to function or desire it.

America is a VERY age aware country...as much as we say we're open minded, we're not...and youth is king.
So you're only "correct" when you are in a relationship with your age bracket...within 5 years of each other...and the man is older than the woman.
Anything other than that...people "frown" on it, think it's "inappropriate" or titter about it like teens or exclaim about it like tabloids.
Then family and friends chime in...confusing the "concern".

You know what??
As long as it is in the law.
And your junk works
Fuck everyone else.

Find someone who likes you, you like them.
Have the sex you want (none to a lot...your choice)
And do not drive each other crazy (mostly...)

Easy.
Everyone else can take a flying fucking leap.

Who are we to say who's appropriate for who??
Isn't life hare enough?
Isn't finding someone hard enough?? (if it's not being done for you...and that's another story)

If it's in the law.
No one is getting hurt.
Keep your nose outta everyone else business.

It's not age...it's attitude.
Just rest is YOUR baggage.