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How many women would date and settle down with an Obese guy?

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by ds81, Sep 4, 2016.

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  1. Fangirl

    Fangirl Very Tilted

    Location:
    Arizona
    I can relate on a deeply personal level with permanent disability, obesity and mood disorders.

    I used to believe I'd be obese forever--I was plus-size, as a 5'7", 225-250-lb woman is charitably called, for decades. I'm not now.
    I took two mood meds for 18 years. Done with that in the past year.
    I've had anger/depression issues which are much improved. I'm still moderately anxious, mellowing incrementally as I age.
    It took awhile, a lot of effort still, but I have wrestled back parts of my life that I thought I'd lost.

    When I went into heart failure I was a Masters-level professional who made more than her spouse. Since that time we have struggled in many ways. In no way is my disability check fully supporting me, so I must challenge your notion that anyone living in the US on $800/mo. is supporting him or herself.

    Having a life partner is no guarantee of happiness but your attitude is everything. The degree you can mold it to best serve you will be the degree to which you find a measure of happiness.
     
    Last edited: Sep 7, 2016
    Fangirl, Sep 7, 2016
    #21
    • Like Like x 7
  2. Cayvmann

    Cayvmann Very Tilted

    Location:
    Central North Carolina
    Anger is an especially attractive trait that most women love. You'll be just fine.

    (Yeah, I'm sort of trolling)

    No person, including women, have to accept you. If you find someone who does, good for you.

    Anecdotally, I know plenty of large men who have wives and girlfriends who accept them. I've even known women to financially support them, but that is pretty rare, yet again anecdotes.
     
    Cayvmann, Sep 7, 2016
    #22
    • Like Like x 2
  3. genuinemommy

    genuinemommy Moderator Staff Member

    This is the best most amazing post that Ralphie has ever written. <3
     
    genuinemommy, Sep 7, 2016
    #23
    • Like Like x 7
  4. Daniel_

    Daniel_ The devil made me do it...

    Location:
    The United Kingdom, naturally
    As a guy who met, courted and married a perfectly normal adult human woman whilst having a "highly obese" BMI, I can confirm it is possible.

    I was fat from childhood, and thought I'd die fat. Recently, I've made fairly simple changes to my lifestyle and have got my BMI to within 3 kg of "healthy", and am still gently losing weight.

    I have been poor, and comfortable, and had successful relationships both ways.

    I have never had good relationships whilst angry and self indulgent.
     
    Daniel_, Sep 7, 2016
    #24
    • Like Like x 7
  5. POPEYE

    POPEYE Very Tilted

    Location:
    Tulsa
    So now that you've found out more about us.wana start over?
     
    POPEYE, Sep 11, 2016
    #25
    • Like Like x 3
  6. cynthetiq

    cynthetiq Administrator Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    New York City
    How many women would date and settle down with an ________________?

    I dunno. What's important is you just need 1. Right? I mean you don't want 10? Because 9 of them will be pissed off that they have to share.

    But let's get the crux of this. You've been a rare thing here, well not here at TFP but maybe in your world. You asked for a reality check, and someone bounced yours. That's right. They didn't just tell you want you want to hear. They didn't just say what could be coddling and easy. Nope they gave you their point of view, fairly, honestly, and without umbrage or condescension. Your reaction was to lash out without knowing anything about the person who responded. You stated they had no knowledge of who or what you are and there you were just tossing it back without the same knowledge but with all the vitriol and venom. Must have touched a hot button for you huh?

    So let me parse some wisdom for you on how I like to filter people. Some people call it the waitestaff rule. Basically one sees how they treat waitstaff when something doesn't go their way and see just how they react. That rule, that yardstick has never failed me in telling how someone really acts.

    USATODAY.com - CEOs say how you treat a waiter can predict a lot about character

    This is why my interviewing candidates was always something different than your standard sit in a conference room and ask questions about their resume. I already read their resume. I want to know if they can handle adversity. Can they deal with issues that come up with teammates? Can they navigate through situations or does someone have to help them?

    Another way executive chimes in with breakfast interviews and purposefully requests that the order be messed up somehow to see the response.

    Charles Schwab's CEO takes job candidates to breakfast and asks the restaurant to mess up their order — here's why

    So here's the thing, what if you met the one person that would fit the bill and she saw you were a total asshole to someone subordinate to you? Yeah. Do Not Pass Go! Do Not Collect $200!
    Finally, read my sig.
     
    Last edited: Sep 11, 2016
    cynthetiq, Sep 11, 2016
    #26
    • Like Like x 6
  7. CinnamonGirl

    CinnamonGirl The Cheat is GROUNDED!

    Location:
    Central Republic of Where-In-The-Hell



    Actually, that isn't okay, either. I was that woman for a few years, and it took its toll...on him, on me, on our relationship. I don't ever want to be in that position again. And I won't be.
     
    CinnamonGirl, Sep 12, 2016
    #27
    • Like Like x 8
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