how many times a week?

Got a wake-up surprise this morning. I woke up to being fondled and things got better from there. Works for me!

 

Good for you! I'm away from home for a while now, and i can't wait to get home, and get those morning surprises again!

 

Since I can't seem to figure out how to create a new thread (Error msg: "You must post a valid message")
I hope no one minds if I attach to this thread, as it does happen to be somewhat related!

Viagra and the Nasal Erection From Hell:

Earlier I mentioned that my wife and I have a rewarding enough love life that I have no complaints.
That was not totally honest of me.
I do have a complaint. It's not a complaint about my wife, it's a complaint about myself.
I'm fifty-four, my health isn't quite as vibrant as it was up till age 47 or so and I discovered that I needed a little bit of pharmaceutical help. 75% of the time I can get it up the moment I want to, ten percent of the time it takes a little prodding and some patience, and fifteen percent of the time Mr. Happy lets me down. Instead of being as good as I once was, I am now as good ONCE, as I was, if you know what I mean, and that's if all systems are go, which is 75% of the time.
I wanted things to be the way they always were for the first half of my life.

"No problem!", I thought to myself, "thank God for modern technology and Bob Dole's reassuring pitch about Viagra".

Bob Dole??
Yeah, Bob Dole...I mean, think about it, the newest ads for the stuff make you think it's something you put in the bathwater, at least ole Bob made it clear that it helps put lead in your pencil.
Not that my pencil has gone completely the way of twenty minute pasta, but there were occasional frustrations and the trusty blue buddy seemed to be the answer...until....

The other night...
Wifey gave me one of those looks that sends thrills and chills down the back of my neck and all the way to my toes..."are we gonna have some fun tonight? Go take your gummy bear. (wink wink)"

Yeah, my blue gummy bear, ha ha.
Suddenly, twenty minutes later, as I am stepping into the shower I notice that my nasal passages are a little swollen. No matter, I hit the showers and got ready for beddie bye.
Within five minutes of slipping between our cool sheets my nose was in full revolt. It felt like a bicycle pump had been inserted and someone was trying to hit 60 PSI.
I absolutely could not breathe through my nostrils and the pressure was about the most alarming feeling I'd had in a very long time.

Somehow I managed to nevertheless get some inspiration from my wife's lithe naked body and a minute or two of breathing here and there, and I managed to do the wild thing to our mutual satisfaction but I had to cut the revelry short. Foreplay was manageable only because I let my fingers do the walking instead of my usual explorations involving fingers, hands, mouth, going downtown.

Not for lack of trying but the moment my head was tipped down towards her bermuda triangle the pounding exceeded the pressure limits of most liquid hydrogen vessels and I started feeling like I was drowning because, let's admit it, if your mouth is engaged and you don't have a functioning set of nasal passages, breathing becomes impossible.

Thank God we have good communication, she knew I was feeling congested and reported that she was happy for me to continue playing her like a fine instrument with my hands.

But when it did become time to have actual intercourse, ten minutes in, it became clear that the pounding was only going to get worse and fluids were going to start issuing from every orifice on my head. I did what I could to bring things to a happy ending and then had to rush off to the bathroom where I proceeded to have a coughing and sneezing fit that lasted longer than the intercourse.
Except NOTHING issued from that nose, it just accumulated and backed up and the pressure grew and grew and GREW...

It was as if my nose had gotten as much of an erection as my penis. Thank God it didn't GROW like a penis or I could have been a circus attraction, but it sure felt like it!

The next forty-eight hours was pure HELL, my nose would not open in any way whatsoever.
It actually got downright SCARY, I thought I would never be able to breathe normally again.
The pressure at times was so intense I thought I was going to wind up like that guy in the movie "SCANNERS".
I fantasized about chugging an abnormal amount of whiskey and inserting my DeWalt drill up my nostrils, but I didn't act on it.

Normal breathing did not resume until around NOON today.

This really pisses me off because I've come to enjoy the renewed dependability that Viagra gives me.
It made me feel like I had the refractory abilities of a teenager combined with the stamina of a grown ass man, a thrilling combination. I could leverage all my experience and perform like a young man again.

And now I have to worry about losing the ability to breathe?
Has anyone else had such a horrible reaction to Viagra? I've been using it for two years and this is the first time anything like this has ever happened.

 

Well, she got sick this week, so I'm not too bothered by zero. I may be a cave dweller, but I'm a sympathetic troglodyte. Poor thing is leaking from both ends, and I had to take her to the emergency room on Friday, to have fluids pumped in. She's getting better now, but has to work tonight...

 

I hope she gets better. Sorry she was sick

 

so sorry she got sick, wishes for you folks to get really well soon
--- merged: Jan 29, 2012 9:00 PM ---
After several months of no sex, today morning 7am I got a wonderful handjob... after that slept like a baby for 2.5hours...
--- merged: Jan 29, 2012 9:08 PM ---

First of all I would love pounding on and on while she comes again and again and cries to stop....
Or riding me coming again and again and me staying hard on and on ....
That is one of my fantasy, sometimes involving a second girl, either someone she really close to or a total stranger (like a co-tourist) giving me helping hand/mouth in driving her crazy... But no matter what I am so damn scared of trying viagara or any internal medicine for that
Only things allowed are external tools like cock rings or desensitizing cream

 

Minimum 3x a week and I cant remember the last time that happened. Recently went through a stint where it was 9 days straight sometimes twice a day. The wife has never been like that before and it is awesome...wonder what happened? Got to the point where I was horny, she was ready, but full erection was just not happening (that sounds terrible). Needless to say we tried anyway. Couple days off cured that....I was worried lol.

 

Life is good!!!!

 

Going on 2 weeks now. But with everything going on, its understandable.

 

Dry two weeks here. She was having her period right after she got better, and now she just wants to watch tv and sleep. Maybe being married to me is too depressing... Hope the rest of you are having good communion with your spouses...

 

See my new post in same ol same ol.
Good luck.

 

Tried this morning. I got a cramp in my hammy, and I couldn't function afterwards. daaaaaang

( yeah I mean sex )

 

I tried romancing her a little last night. Seemed to be working up until I tried getting the sexy time going. She told me, "We already did that today"

I really need to start drinking, heavily

 

Im sorry.

 

My love life is terminal. woot

 

The fact that I am gone 60-90 days at a time probably helps considerably with how often I get it.

 

I think I might have figured out why I am having such a bad reaction to the Viagra.
I do not think it is an allergic reaction and the antibiotics cleared up the sinus infection straight away so it could not be that either.

My theory isn't bulletproof but maybe some of you might draw the same conclusion when I tell you.
First off, I ordered the stuff from one of those offshore stores, so it comes from India.

After two bouts with the "bicycle pump in my head" I laid off it for a couple of days.
Then the other night I tried cutting the dose down. These are supposed to be 100mg pills and I usually
break them in half so they are supposed to be 50's.

Well, I broke the HALF in half, thinking it would be a 25 and took it.
Another fantastic night followed by 24 hours with the bicycle pump trying to make my head explode

I'm sorta stupid sometimes, so the other night I took a pill, broke it in half, broke the HALF in half and then broke THAT half in half. I was sitting there looking at a fragment of a pill no larger than the lower case letter "o"....actually even smaller than that!

I took my "o" sized dose of the stuff and lo and behold I had the Dick of Steel from Hell, only no 24 hours of sinus Hell afterward.

Follow me here for a moment....I think what has happened is, our intrepid chemist from India put one too many "zeroes" in the recipe he is using to MAKE the counterfeit Viagra.
You know how Habanero peppers are something like ten times stronger than Jalapeno peppers?
I think what has happened is, I am the owner of 100 pills of the strongest Viagra in the world, sorta like
the Habanero of Viagras. I think it is entirely possible for a chemist to make a mistake that, isn't it?

I could feel a SLIGHT case of the stuffy nose afterward but it was tolerable and pretty much like the stuffy nose I usually get with the genuine article, no big deal and it goes away after a couple of hours and I sleep just fine.
I tried the same thing last night once again, and again I used a dose the size of one of the lower case
letter "o" you are looking at on your screen, and again I was like some eighteen year old with the Prong of Death, slight stuffy nose afterward for a little while but I slept like a baby and feel fine today.

I seriously do not think this is all in my head. I think this is an accidental batch of Viagra with ten times the normal concentration and since I have a hundred pills I suppose it is safe to say that I have a supply which is going to last at least two years because if I was having sex every night of the week it would take an entire week to use up one pill.

That's fine with me I guess. I just have to be extremely careful measuring out the dose.
Of course all this would not be happening if the drug companies would stop gouging us Yanks with
their fifteen dollar a pill prices. I got mine for about two dollars a pill.
I would much rather deal with the genuine article but not at US prices, it's just ridiculous.
I would even pay four or five dollars a pill but fifteen?
No way, that's just insanity.

So here I am with the police pepper spray version of Viagra and wifey is still wearing that adorable grin on her face. And Lord help anyone else who finds themselves with a batch, I am telling you now, it's a doozy.

 

Maybe you should try just licking the pill and see what happens... Just a thought... might get a 2 hour boner, and no stuffy nose... LOL

it's like Alice and the mushroom!

 

geez, some of you depress the hell out of me.

 

Yeah, I really need to quit replying to this thread.