how many times a week?

I'm new here so it was with no small amount of fascination that I picked up this thread.
Someone on another forum was talking about "bucket science" and when I Googled that I also found
"why does my GF have a bucket?" which led me to here and a lot of laughs!

Anyway, my wife has MS and yet I have to say we're both very lucky.
She's lucky because "everything works"...she just can't walk is all.
I first dated her back in 1984, and she had a very high sex drive back then and still has one now.
We got together after one bad marriage each, and one of her complaints was that her ex was more interested in getting drunk and could not perform...hell he couldn't even get it up half the time.

My first marriage was fraught with addiction, psychological drama and "she's nuts, but in a good way", which quickly turned to "NOT in a good way". The sex however was great while it lasted...maybe a couple of years, then a four year drought.
I didn't think I would survive that with my sanity intact but I did.

This wife's libido is only hampered by bad MS days where she feels like crap, otherwise she is pretty much good to go almost anytime. If anything her libido has gotten stronger as she hit her late thirties and now in her forties it's about as much as any one man would want. Despite her multiple sclerosis she is otherwise very healthy, active and quite independent. She has a damn good attitude and that helps.
Either one of us can initiate things or suggest something. That in and of itself is a fun thing because we play a little game of hinting around and teasing, or else we try to hold out and see which one is going to say "are we going to do anything later?"
The pretending to hold out game usually doesn't last long.
There's that little look again, that evil grin, I know what that means.

I'm lucky because I'm the other half, always was a walking talking hormone factory and still am, although middle age has started to drop my levels somewhat. I'm taking replacements for it to help, as I do not want to lose a good thing. We're very well matched in terms of who wants what when and how often.

She just got hit with a quadruple whammy, surgery on her bladder, followed by a respiratory virus and a yeast infection thanks to the massive antibiotics the hospital had her on post-op, and we were just getting that handled with the proper meds when this morning she discovered it's "time for the monthly visitor~!"

There's been some boo-hooing because she's fed up with being sick, sore and everything else.
She looked up at me this morning and said, "I just can't catch a fucking break, can I?", and we both laughed.

"Oh well, I guess we'll just have to muddle through this, so take your meds and get plenty of rest because once I am all recovered and cleaned up I want to have some major fun."

Can't argue with that...it's been two weeks since we've done anything and that has to be a record for us.
Prior to surgery her comment was, "well I guess we'd better get some fucking done before they cut me open, it's gonna be a little while before I am in any condition to fool around!"

I don't know what menopause will bring to the table but she has said that she does not want our fun to dwindle down to old fart level. She's quite the good looking lass and judging by family genetics she's probably always going to be but I gotta say, even if she grew a horn in the middle of her head and turned green, I still I think I'd be working up a "winter passion" in our declining years. She is such a sexual animal it's amazing...she takes great pride in preserving that and I guess she looks at it as one of her connections to normalcy because when you get hit with something that changes everything else about your life, you look to the things that brought you satisfaction and hold onto what is still left.

She is still the same girl I fell for all those years ago despite not walking. The fact that she gets around in a chair doesn't faze me in the slightest. She's still everything she used to be, we just can't go dancing quite the same way we used to.

But the boogie between the sheets is exhilarating as ever.
Sure is a welcome change from the four year drought!

 

I'm thinkin' it's time for BIRTHDAY SEX!!!

 

Once last week. This week ain't looking good so far...

 

Once last week. But I supose its better than none

 

ouch...

 

Didn't even get any on my birthday.

 

On my wedding night, did I get any? Nope, was a week after before it happened. Why do I go for these kinds of women? I guess I hate myself. ( Hope she never reads this, cause she's otherwise a very good woman )

Still none this week

 

me and you both

 

Cayvmann & ralphie250 : Are you guys trying? As in putting the moves on your SO? If you are putting the moves on are you well, there's no way to know how important this is so I'll just say it: Are you cleaned up from work and such?
I know I'm not 'normal' in that my sex drive is intense but unless I'm sick (like contagious sick) I never turn an offer from my SO for some. Many times though no offer is proffered and I either take care of my own needs or as I've already shared, I jump him.

 

Typically I don't try until after the little one has gone to bed and I've had a shower. Im a shower person. I have 2 a day. My SO has no drive. She could care less and she has told me that before. Normally when I try 1 of 4 things happen.
1).. I get some and its kinda like "just hurry up" she doesn't say that but its what I feel like.
2).. I get some cause she's ready for it.
3).. no, not tonight
4).. she's already asleep.

That's how it normally works out. Sucks but after 12 years of being married I've become accustomed to it.
Suggestions would be greatly Appreciated.

 

Try going to bed the same time as her?

 

We do. We both go to bed same time. We had talked about taking the tv out of the room. But sometimes we watch porn togeather.

 

I have found no 'moves' that work. Cleanliness is my norm. Getting dirty in a clean way, that is.

She's complicated with abuse in her background. I just don't know what to do, as everything I do just makes her go to sleep... She's just pretty sexless, and not at all adventurous. Just likes cuddling and sleeping next to me. Unfortunately for me having a sexy woman beside me in bed, and not being satisfied leads to no sleep for me.

I guess I'll figure it all out one day.

 

Hm.
My suggestion is pretty much the guy version of what I do. I've never gotten a 'No,' not tonight,' so I'm of no help there, I'm sorry to say.
I guess we all have different tolerances.
I 'put up with' about a decade of 'no sex' in my marriage. We had had a lot of sex prior to my getting pregnant 7 months into our living together. At that time I was the divorced mom of one. Having kids sure does change things up but once the kid is really not a kid anymore one hopes to get back into some fun-filled times between the sheets, hopefully before then!
I finally gave an ultimatum--get your testosterone checked--he tests 'normal', and get your depression/anxiety treated.
I'd say I'm about 50% happier than I was in regard to 'getting some' but we are never going to be a couple that has a lot of sex.
I sympathize greatly.
--- merged: Jan 20, 2012 6:36 AM ---

Wow. That's tough.
There is some abuse of a sexual nature in my husband's family (7 siblings). It's not spoken of openly. He says he only remembers being shown hard-core porn when he was 12-13 years old (no touching) by the father--who showed the same type-stuff as they each turned 12 to all the kids--both sexes. And all 7 of them were 'late bloomers' sexually.
Life is and people are so complicated.

 

still no time for sex, which has had an interesting affect on me. when i'm too busy, i don't even think about it. when its alone time with the SO though... ye old hormones light a fire and tell me "yup, you are over-fucking-due" and then i just turn off the grey matter and let the good times roll. it seems like the rarity makes it that much better

 

OMG I thought I was the ONLY man on Earth that had that happen.
My first marriage, honeymoon in a very beautiful storybook-land old five star hotel, the really romantic kind, my blushing and ample chested new bride looking as stunning as can be imagined, and she wasn't interested in doing anything but snorting some lines and staying up talking for two hours, then suddenly, like a switch, ZZZZ zzzzz ZZZZ, just gone.

Fortunately THIS marriage (the keeper) is nothing like the first marriage.
I swear that empty honeymoon should have been a giant red flag LOL.

But THIS marriage was different, we definitely had some major consummating goin on.
--- merged: Jan 20, 2012 8:35 AM ---
Wifey rolled by, stopped while I was at the dining room table, squeezed my hand and said,
"maybe tomorrow night?" with that impish little grin on her face.

I'm fifty-four but I gotta tell you, I still feel like a little kid that's looking at a wrapped up Christmas present
when a woman initiates stuff sexually. I just wish I had known in my younger days what I know now!
A twenty-one year old with fifty-four years of experience is a dangerous thing to behold.

But hey, even running on old retreads I am gonna try for a two-fer, been saving up so.....(snicker)
--- merged: Jan 20, 2012 8:39 AM ---

NOT likey

 

I am on medication for anxiety and depression, I do have low testerone but I am being treated for it. So realistically you would think i was the one that didn't want any. My little one is 3 and she sleeps in her room in her bed. She sleeps like me HARD. So there's no waking her up lol.


@Cayman sounds like we both have alot in common.

 

Amen to that

 

X2

 

Yay, once is better than nonce