Help...does this sound ok? Question about relationship

I am in the part where I randomly cry, I have bursts of anger. I want to leave a voice mail scream at him and yell cuz he thought I was that naïve to fall for his dumb answers. I hate the mourning too the random tears. I'm keeping busy a few friends suggested to hop back into dating and looking or at least talking to guys....No hes not smart he was a jerk. I hate the things that remind me of him, possibly the companionship is what I will miss the most. But he did wrong I know I deserve better just working small steps on me. I have to remind myself of my worth daily and that bad things don't always happen to me, I'm trying to turn this around positively. I was strong for other life struggles I have to find that strength and add it to this.

 

Stay positive and think positive. It will get better.

 

Yes, I am a lil fixated or obsessed sometimes and find things hard to let go. Thanks I will definitely participate in other discussions on here and look up topics that I may be interested in. Thanks!

 

OK not gonna lie but when is it not normal to be able to let go. Why can't I yet???why am I still fixated or obsessed lord knows he doesn't care. Why do I still want to call or feel like I owe him an explanation or why do I feel guilty for ending things in a text and with positive words instead of blasting him? I can't take the headspace I'm in.!!!!

 

The trick is to accept that it is normal and find something else to keep yourself busy with.
Take up a hobby, do something that you've thought about for a while but never had the time or the nerve, use it to fill your time and head space.
You will meet new people and think less about him.
The less time you have to brood the better.
Lindy had a good point about checking out the other threads here.
It's a good place to start.

 

I want to chip in and say that even though you're not so proud of yourself for being needy, or explaining yourself more than you needed to, or leaving things in an awkward manner... simply letting the time go by without contacting him gives you dignity no matter what happened in the past. I know it is really hard to boil things down to the bare facts but believe me, it will get easier to do as the days go by, and you will eventually be able to say "he wasn't right for me, so we aren't together anymore" and that will be it. Day by day all the extraneous information will just chip off, bit by bit, like dead skin falling off a new tattoo. Just leave it.

 

Yup RedSneaker,
I do agree with you.
@ Angela that's the best advice by red, even i feel the same instead of just cursing , you got to find a new way and carry on.

 

As I read it, and understand Angela's posts since the break-up, she's referring to the break-up text message.

 

Hi Everyone,

No no haven't texted him at all I didn't even respond to his sappy story about worrying why he hadn't heard from me. !!!!! That's whats been hard -being tough, day by day not giving in to temptation to call or text. I miss the good times but that is now like a dream.

I've been tempted to but have been following through with not communicating at all. Moving on...I just can't sleep, I hate the pit of my stomach where the fears, tears and where I am anxious inside. The endless thoughts of why, why wasn't I good enough? Why did he do this etc....just going through the process. I swear I need to get my self esteem up. I joined gym to get yoga in. Seeing therapist tomorrow. I feel like I am a basket case.

 

I havent texted I've followed through so far, doesn't mean I'm not no where near not tempted. I have the bad itch to but over and over I remind myself of how he would respond, is he worth calling or speaking to? I remind myself daily the underwear he must know thats why I left, thats why I was direct but too nice in the final text. I did leave with dignity cuz I could of bitched him out. But now thats what I regret was not standing up hard enough or telling him off on the phone that last day and only leaving it with a text. I am a lil OCD because in my gut I feel I didn't do enough to defend myself or do enough to prevent him from taking me for a fool . And I constantly want to erase or fix things all the time. I hate change i hate it sooo much. That comes from way too much changes in my life. Im hurting cuz how could I fall for it all? I'm strong in other areas a survivor yet I let "love put a cover over my eyes" . Im angry at myself. Each day is hard cuz I want to ask, talk tell him what an effect hes done to me. K thats it. But yes, getting help, listening to advice is what I do best and as someone said on this thread (MeltedMetalGlob) I am different. I am of the elite people that take advice and always work to better achieve things. Thank you.

 

Hello happy new year!!!!
I'm doing well been moving a long with life. It hasn't been easy but therapy helps too.
I have remained in no contact with that guy and stuck to it. None.The holidays were rough though being single and I had another health scare .....im writing on here cuz i know u all speak the truth and wanted to share with all of u that.....He reached out yesterday out of the blue HE reached out to me . Not via phone but through thr dating site we met on originally. He said hes back on there and wanted to say Happy New Year and wished me all the best in 2016. I didn't want to respond at first but I also know that I'm soft. I did responded later last night with "hi ryan nice to hear from you. Hope ur well and happy new year and all the best." In your opinion was it wrong to respond? Did i say too much? Why is he writing to me?.....why is it making me feel like a set back I'm trying to heal and forget and now he does this.....

Any advice?
Thanks

 

I have to agree with Borla.
He's just testing the waters to see if he can break through your defenses now that some time has past.

 

Actually I think your response was perfect.
You were polite and said just enough, without seeming to invite further contact.
Well done.