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Goodbye, uncle phil (NSFW - he would have wanted it that way)

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by hankster, Sep 3, 2012.

  1. Tully Mars

    Tully Mars Very Tilted

    Location:
    Yucatan, Mexico

    That's true and something I had not considered. I blame the spirits I took to drinking upon hearing the latest news. I cut back on drinking this past year, other then a beer or two or glass of wine while out for a bite I really don't drink much. Yesterday I broke open a bottle of bourbon. After a couple stiff drinks my girlfriend asked if everything alright. I explained I was a really bummed out by some news of a good friends health situation. Within about 20mins there were 15-20 people here with food and drink... and of course candles to light. Very typical Mexican reaction. Someone you love is ill? That can all be helped by lots of friends and family with lots of food, booze and candles- lots of candles and prayers- lots of prayers. So we sat around the table by the pool (very small area for the number of people) drinking, talking. I spoke a little about what kind of guy Phil is and about every 5-10 min. someone would poor a round of shots and announce "saludos a Phil!" Often this sounded more like "saludos a Vil!" But the intent was pure.

    Little hung over this morning but was nice to have some company last night. Plus who knows maybe the candles, some of which are still burning this morning, will benefit Phil somehow. I'm not much for religion but if I thought it would help Phil out I'd join the Church of Scientology this morning.
     
    • Like Like x 5
  2. Random McRandom

    Random McRandom Starry Eyed

    I suck at these things as I always think it won't matter much because they'll be focused on more important things, but I'm hopin' Phil pulls through with flying colors. He's part of the old guard from wayyy back that makes it feel like TFP. It's like walking into your favorite bar and knowing everyone and it's just not the same without Phil around.
     
  3. cynthetiq

    cynthetiq Administrator Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    New York City
    This is they way he explained it to me. He said, "Hospice isn't a bad word. It could be weeks or years. Besides best part is that it's covered by the government!" He said that with a snicker.
     
    • Like Like x 9
  4. snowy

    snowy so kawaii Staff Member

    Sounds like Phil is still Phil, and that's good.
     
    • Like Like x 2
  5. Cayvmann

    Cayvmann Very Tilted

    We need to do this in the US of A. Might make us a healthier people...

    My brother was cared for by some wonderful, loving people in hospice for a month. I wish his last bit of time could have been painless, but he told his wife he wanted to get every breath he could. He did that.

    Still, fuck cancer.
     
    • Like Like x 5
  6. hankster

    hankster LONG time resident

    from Marilyn to us...

    "Dear Family and Friends,

    I fear my update this time is not very positive. Since the last update, Phil has been admitted to the hospital twice for various issues related to his cancer. It has spread, with 6 new lesions on the brain, additional lesions on the hip bone and new disease in the spinal canal and the nerves radiating from the spine to his lower extremities. This week we were told that the disease is too advanced to be treated aggressively. The oncologists comment was “we can’t radiate the whole body”. The problem has become, when we focus on one area, some other area crops up. We have opted for in-home hospice with palliative care. Phil has been a trooper every step of the way and continues to be upbeat and humorous. How he finds the strength for it, I do not know, but God bless him for his strength.

    I will continue to keep you posted on Phil’s progress. I apologize for not getting anything out sooner, but I have been so busy running back and forth to the hospital and now learning my new role as full-time caretaker to be able to sit down and write to you all.

    Now that I have completely depressed everyone, I should relate one of the many incidents where Phil handled himself with dignity and humor. Last Sunday, after a night of vomiting, we called the oncologist who agreed he needed to be readmitted to the hospital. So, off to Tampa we went early in the morning. He vomited in the ER waiting area and again in the ER exam room. He was so sick he could barely lift his head off the gurney. After all that vomiting, the ER doctor walked in and said, “Hi. I am Dr. Sweet.” Without missing a beat Phil opened his eyes and said “Hi. I am Dr. Sour.” This is one of the moments in this journey that will remain with me forever."

    and i am beyond a new member
     
    • Like Like x 8
  7. cynthetiq

    cynthetiq Administrator Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    New York City
    Fuck
     
    Last edited: Sep 10, 2012
  8. Random McRandom

    Random McRandom Starry Eyed

    :(

    This sucks, but I'm glad he's managing to keep his humor up despite the road he's walking on.
     
  9. Remixer

    Remixer Middle Eastern Doofus

    Location:
    Frankfurt, Germany
    Fucking hell.

    Stay strong and keep your chin up, phil. I believe I'm talking for everyone here when I say that we're all rooting for you.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  10. Zen

    Zen Very Tilted

    Location:
    London
    Hi hankster

    You are Way beyond a new member.
    You're bearing such sad news ...
    At the same time as having to stay resourceful day by day and minute by minute.

    You're a Trooper.

    All respect to you, as well as our love to Phil.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  11. Baraka_Guru

    Baraka_Guru Möderätor Staff Member

    Location:
    Toronto
    This is sad news. Love and hugs to everyone.
     
  12. Tully Mars

    Tully Mars Very Tilted

    Location:
    Yucatan, Mexico
    I'd write something profound but I'm not exactly the type. I'd drink more but I'm not sure my liver would survived another bender like last night. And after readings Mars update I've decided against the whole Church of Scientology thing. So I guess that leaves more candles and positive thoughts. All my best wishes to Phil, Marilyn and the friends and family with him.

    "I'm Dr. Sour". Classic Phil!
     
    • Like Like x 3
  13. redux

    redux Very Tilted

    Location:
    Foggy Bottom
    • Like Like x 1
  14. ralphie250

    ralphie250 Fully Erect

    Location:
    At work..
    I am at a loss of words. I send all my love and prayers to phil, Marilyn and all his friends and family. I wish there was something i could do:(:(
     
  15. hankster

    hankster LONG time resident

    Our hearts break,,, Phil and Marilyn were so kind to us for so many years. I know Hank met him on the Forum,,,,,, but I so looked forward to their trips to Maine. What fun we had. We pray that whatever comes his way, brings him peace, Marilyn peace and no ffffffffffff pain.

    Connie,,,, Hank's wife
     
    • Like Like x 6
  16. Strength and peace to all
     
  17. Freetofly

    Freetofly Diving deep into the abyss

    Sent a card today and loaded it with many of your comments below your avatars. Will send another tomorrow and I think I will have everyone that has commented here.
     
    • Like Like x 5
  18. cynthetiq

    cynthetiq Administrator Staff Member Donor

    Location:
    New York City
    Dammit. I didn't have time to really let it sink in until about 5 minutes ago.

    I've been working so much and so focused.

    Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

    I'm going to be in Tampa in October. I gotta get some time to see him there.

    Fuck cancer.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  19. roachboy

    roachboy Very Tilted

    i had a feeling something like this was happening. even so, i'm really sorry to read this tonight.
    but i really appreciate mar and hank and connie for sharing this information and something of how they are reacting to it.

    i hope for little pain. comfort and those you love, in a place you love.

    fuck cancer.
     
  20. Japchae

    Japchae Very Tilted

    He's less than an hour from Tampa.

    Palliative care at home is the way to go. I wish I could get down there.
    I'm heading the opposite direction though.
    He'd probably kick my ass for not coming down sooner, though.
    But, I'll not make excuses, I'll just send my love each morning at 6:50
    when there's no early morning Pointless Post...
    I still check by 7 am every day to see if he stuck his head in to say hello for a few moments.
     
    • Like Like x 2