Generosity...

Reading through the comments I'm realizing that there is no 'one size fits all' response to whether one should give money as a wedding gift.
I'm going to let my romantic colours fly and say follow your heart as you're in a financial position to do so. Even if it does not pan out as you hope--you can afford to lose, so to speak.

 

Many feel uncomfortable when faced with too much generosity - just a thought. Also, the wedding seems a very large expence - some people never learn to live within their budget, safe in the knowledge they have a relative like yourself to bail them out. I dont think this is good, it does not teach responsibility and independence. If you want them to have a specific gift, then buy it for them yourself. If you give money, sure they will enjoy it - probably wont last long, probably wont be invested at all - but a gift once given is gone.
--- merged: Oct 10, 2011 9:24 AM ---
You could offer to take care of photographer or flowers if it is a gift for the wedding and not the life after.

 

If $1500 doesn't put a dent in your finances, I don't think it's unreasonable for family. I'd do almost anything for my little sisters.

 

So, what, word of mouth for where you are registered? Seems inefficient.

 

Judge Judy and Miss manner are my idols. I did not advertise my registry either, and it threw my extended family for a loop, as it's become commonplace to defer to the guests' convenience.

If you want to be generous, the best way to do that is with your time. Volunteer at the Human Society or help an older lady across a busy intersection. I feel that money between family members is a very loaded subject. Giving the irresponsible bail out money for their wedding is enabling and a bit insulting. Buy them a mixer, to keep the relationship neutrally intact.

 

I've definitely decided that I will give them a lesser amount, after Christmas as I feel I would be able to put less "conditions" on it, if any at all. I've also decided that since their amount is decent, that I'll be giving my sister, brother, mom and dad, gifts of the same amount, for things that everyone could do together.... such as, my sister is coming this summer, she just had twins, so I figure I'd pay for a hotel room at Chateau Lake Louise for her and her husband and my dad, brother, step-mom and I could watch the kids for a few days. Thats just an example, my other ideas as less grandiose....