Finally got a girlfriend. But there's an issue...

We don't have Slushies up yonder. Just Slurpees. Which aren't as good for reasons I can't explain.

 

I sincerely hope that people understand the difference between using motherfuckers in an affectionate way toward friends and talking about the broad you dumped after a couple of dates for her stinky pussy. If not, things are worse than I ever imagined.

 

Slurpees are OK. They just call for walking inside the 7-11.

 

Well, that and the machines have really pooped in my soup lately... sometimes I'll get a cup and set it under the sludge pump and grin as I pull the lever only to get a cough and a squirt of liquid.

The other time it came out without flavoring. I thought it was coconut but apparently it was just neutral Slurpee slush.

I've rage-quit the Slurpee machine at 7-11 many times.

Maintenance matters.

...

Full disclosure:

Lindy may or may not be my exwife.

Or evil female clone.

 

OMaaaaan.

Dude! Next time you might bathe her and tell her fab she smells.

 

This, and "bitches" is a substitute for "all you fellow TFP motherfuckers" when it is used.

 

Hey, you can't use vulgar terminology to describe other, broader vulgar terminology. That's like dividing by zero using those Russian nesting dolls.

 

You're such a math bitch.

 

I love making a woman orgasm going down on her. Every woman I ever tasted had some natural odor or other. The only time I ever found the odor unacceptable, was when she accumulated sweat for 24 hours or more because she rushed her showers and didn't soap up. I introduced her to the joys of my deep soaker tub, and rewarded her with multiple orgasms. Bacteria left to accumulate anywhere smells fowl. A nice soak in a bubble bath with a partner is fun as a deal maker too.

 

I agree so much that I decided to shout about it.