Dating a suicidal bipolar gal. Need to end it, but how?

She sounds crazy like a fox to me, and is probably very skilled at securing relationships with fear tactics. So far, her manipulation is working, since you are moping around here looking for advice on how to let her down easy. I suppose it is flattering to be such a catch, that someone's life is in the balance due to your magnificience. All she's looking for is a cock with legs, however. Who YOU are has no bearing on anything and I would find that to be quite insulting.

She is a manipulator, not someone who is to be pitied. Give her an affirmative "I am not interested in pursuing a relationship" and be done.

The reason cake pans are coming out is because every other dude ran away before they had time to mix the batter.

 

That will teach you to keep your dick in your pants. (Made me think of Rich Hall - just switch the gender.)

View: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wyM8UTEsRUg

You need to stop it now. Do not leave her in the position where she can say you led her on. Run for the hills before she goes all 'Misery' on you.
If all else fails, you could cry and tell her she failed to cure your gayness, so there is nothing else for it but for you to sadly say farewell to any dreams of a life together -

 

^^^^This is good advice.

 

Thank you for the replies. I've read each and every one of them. Looks like I have to end whatever relationship we have before it's too late.

Last night was the first night I didn't talk to her. She left me 5 IMs on the messenger (I was invisible), texted me 2 times, and called me once, leaving a silent voicemail. I emailed her this morning saying I got home late but am I'm feeling down and depressed. She replied saying she's not mad (three times in the email) and that she'll see me on tonight. I have to find a way to do a "it's not you, it's me" thing. Even if I have to lie. I can't destroy her, telling her the truth that she's psychotic. I may just tell her that I feel my penis is too small for her and that I'm too ashamed to hangout with her anymore because of it; she's only felt it with her hand, I don't think she seen it because it was dark. It is of average size, so I don't think she'll know the difference.

 

Tell her the truth. You just aren't feeling the connection with her that you need. Something like that. The penis thing is a bad idea all around.

 

Okay, I guess the penis thing is not a good idea then. I suppose I won't lie to her either, I just have to plan what to say I guess. She's online now (messaged me 5 times already asking if I'm online; I'm invisible). She's so clingy. I'll see what happens. Thanks again.
--- merged: Sep 4, 2012 at 9:48 PM ---
I can't do this... She's being so nice right now and I'm pretending to feel down today - well, I do feel kinda down because of her - but now she asked if she did anything wrong and gave a sad smiley face. Her heart is gonna shatter. Dunno if I can do this all in one night, might have to finish it off tomorrow.

 

Dude, you need to just end it.
Unofficially, she sounds a little borderline personality disordered. Any extra time that you spend trying to be nice or let her down gently is just leading her on. You don't feel what she thinks that she feels for you. Just be honest, you don't feel the same way she does and it's best that you don't pretend. End of story.

 

Yeah, seriously man, this is worse for her than it is for you. You don't have a chemical imbalance in your brain. Just do it.

 

Should I offer to be her friend still? We're talking now. I said I think things went further than they should have last time we met. Ack!

 

Fuuuck, she's on to me.

 

My advice: don't offer her bits and pieces . Let her know precisely how you feel and make it clear that it's stopping. Then distance yourself.

It's tempting to offer bits and pieces. It's tempting to think to yourself, "If I say we can still be friends, then that won't be letting her down so badly AND she might make less of a fuss, so I won't get as much flack" BUT this is NOT a well formed negotiation. It'll confuse things and if she's as clingy as you think she is, then she'll take ANY accepted contact to mean that she's 'got a chance' if she says 'yes' to it.

Also, and no offense intended - please pardon me for saying it, but I am not sure of your present strength or clarity of will to keep your hands off her. Then it'd be another " ... things went further than they should have" thing. The reason for my lack of sureness is that your posts show you being pulled in different directions.

If you Do ... and I hope you do fully end it with her ... then I hope you meditate on this entire experience, because, for all the elements that are 'about HER' - what did you call her? Ahh .... "bi polar", there are enough clear elements that are about YOU .... and here's your brilliant opportunity to work out for the future WHAT to do when you have various mixed feelings pulling you around. I know she means/meant something - I definitely know there were some short-term benefits for you. I also know you cared enough about her to want to cheer her up, and that you DO care enough about her to not want to upset her. I also know you mention some of her behaviours which made her someone you DON'T want to spend the rest of your life with. I also know you've got your finger on the pulse of a lot of elements I don't even know about.

You're in a position to make great steps as you determine, for the future WHO you might want to be close to/distant from, HOW to express that, And WHAT kinds of consequences present actions or non-actions may have.

 

That was quite the post, rogue. You are 100% right. And me trying to let her down easy is only hurting her more, even though I feel it's helping. I know I may come off as a dickhead to some who likes to get intimate with women -- which is extremely, extremely rare -- but I really do (think) that I am a compassionate person, and I absolutely hate seeing people sad. I really did think that maybe that I could be friends with her. She did make all the first moves and initiated anything sexual, but it is as much as my fault for going with it and wanting it to. I fucked myself over, but mostly, I fucker her over...

Edit: Zen, saw your post after I posted this. I think what I have typed in the next paragraph will disappoint you because it seems like I did not follow what you just said...

Well anyways, we chatted for a bit online. I let her know that I think things went too far last time and got out of hand and that it was mostly my fault, and that we probably shouldn't be doing what people in relationships do. She actually said she understands, that because I will be leaving and everything she understands. She did say she was crying, but that she was glad I was honest with her and that I'm still the nicest guy she's met (which I'm not sure is true or not, but that doesn't matter anyways). She asked if we could still hang out sometime, just as friends, and I said I'll have to see what happens. I really am lonely with no friends within 600 miles, and she's okay to hang out with, so I feel pretty okay with that. I know she is lonely too. I know you all said to cut it off completely, but I feel that since she acknowledges that we will just be friends, maybe that's okay and sounds like a mutual agreement. Not sure if I did the right thing there...

- - - - -

As a side note, that's been bugging me and kind-of irrelevant... when I got to third-base with her, which included me fingering her multiple times, she said she came after each time, which was 3 different times. Now, I have only fingered one woman before her to the point of "orgasm" and with that woman I could feel her vagina get extremely tight inside at the time of orgasm. But with this girl I didn't feel that, even though she sounded like she was enjoying it. I know a lot of women lie about having orgasms, so I'm just wondering if she might have lied to me too, or if some girls don't tighten up? Sorry for the stupid, off-topic question...

 

Yeah, not all vaginas are the same.

I'm really leaning towards she lied but that would be judgemental of me so, I should probably not mention it and delete this post.
--- merged: Sep 5, 2012 3:07 AM ---
Oops.

 

You can not continue to be around her. Seriously. It has to be complete. I seriously doubt that she can just be friends.

Being lonely is no excuse.

 

Anonymoose,

When a man is lonely he needs to get a drinking buddy or a dog. In my opinion, unstable fuck buddies are a shitty remedy for those kinda feelings.