Damaged Goods?

i agree.

what has me puzzled is how you can remember so much detail over such a long period of time. i cant remember half of half of what i ate yesterday

 

I just have a really good memory. I go to college and the core of my classes is based on memorization. I still can remember some conversations I had back in elementary school. Its all about training your brain.

 

You can't remember what you ate yesterday because it is not important. You eat, you experience it and then, unless it was a remarkable meal, your neurons stop responding to the experience. Whereas, if you are experiencing more intense situations you tend to recall them over and over and the details stick. Particularly when you are trying to make sense of things, find connections, figure things out. I can't speak for this girl, but if you want to make a point about her actions or the validity of her story, then make it something that sticks.

 

fair call mixedmedia.

DO i have doubts about her story? sure i do. But im sure some or part of it is true. Im sure if her ex trooper boyfriend came along he'd have a different view on things.

But the level of detail, with the number of days in between each text and conversation is excessive IMO. The only thing missing is what colour boxers he was wearing on every occasion. It reminds me of stories my grandmother used to tell me. She would be given 2 lebanese francs as a 10 year old girl and she'd tell me what day it was based on current events (2 weeks and 2 days after so and so died/born etc). She'd tell me that she'd go out and buy 2 kilos of tomatos, or lentils and wheat for dinner and what she did for the rest of the day, and who she spoke on that morning on what corner of the street. As a young kid i'd believed every word. But looking back, i think she said her story the way she wanted it to be told, not the way it happened. She may have been delirious, or forgetful, but she kept us entertained for hours on end , and we listened.

We're listening now. She's telling her story they way she wants to.

 

fair call.

 

Yes there are two sides to every story and he would see everything in a different picture. Yes there are some details missing because I didn't think it mattered or I didn't remember all to well, plus it was pretty long already. No I don't believe everything is his fault because I kept on texting back.

I remember detail of the situation because I've thought about it and discussed it with friends. This didn't happen years ago, it was recent, so its still pretty fresh. Now comparing me with your grandmother isn't very adequate since as we age, areas of our brain atrophy or lose connections to other areas. This will cause different changes in detail to the stories, but she still keeps a general path of the story. And the fact that your 10 years old, your own imagination can also help these changes in detail.

I have no reason to change details of the story, since I have nothing to prove to anyone. It could've ended very much due to me, but I wouldn't know since we never talked about it. In the end, I was hurt twice and nothing came of it.

And I do remember is boxer colors lol

 

I don't think either of you are "damaged goods" and I'm not sure what the problem is, from what I have read.

Let's try reframing the story a little to see it from a different perspective.

The way I read this is that you were interested, found out about him and initiated contact. He broke it off and you reinitiated things on at least tw,o further occasions. In between there is a lot of "hanging out", texting and you projecting feelings onto him.

What do I mean by "projecting"? When you say "he seemed upset", etc. the fact is you have no idea whether he was really upset or just thinking, "You know what? This is probably for the best".

Let's take another scenario. "A month goes by and I begin talking to a new guy. One day I was walking my guy to his car and seen trooper outside playing with his dog. The dog gets loose and runs to me, and I grab the leash. As I hand the leash back to him, I see his new gf at his door. I go to my guy and as I kiss him and say good bye, I notice trooper staring us down. I just ignore it and walk back to my apartment." You both have new partners. This is a standard meeting between two neighbours. Had it been me, I would have been expecting some sort of conversation, even briefly. Was he "staring you down" or was he simply standing there, expecting a "How are you?" type chat, maybe some introductions, and then feeling snubbed because you chose to ignore him and walk straight back into your apartment?

I'm not sure what "hanging out" means. To me, it sounds like what people do when they want company. Maybe it was more. Maybe you were reading more into it than was there and/or maybe he was. We can't tell.

What I draw from all of this is that he was flattered by your attention and the reassurance that he is attractive. That's a nice feeling when you have been dumped. However, it also seems to me that he knew that the relationship couldn't work and that you are too young for him.

What is left is the texting, which makes up the bulk of what is going on here. Texting is not communication and is no basis for a relationship. It's a way of filling time and entertaining yourself. At least, that's how I see it. I don't text. I can envision a state trooper, bored out of his mind in his car on traffic duty, texting a number of people to pass the time and entertain himself. This is especially true if you are initiating the texts, as you say you have done. Example: " The next morning heading to school, I see him out patrolling so I text him. After a couple texts he tells me he has a date. I get a little upset and tell him we probably shouldn't talk anymore and that was the end of that.

To be honest, the whole story sounds as if you are chasing him (rather than the other way round).

If you can, your best bet would be to accept that the relationship has no future and, if you can't simply be a friend without reading more into it, break all contact.

 

Yes I pursued in the beginning, but I didn't the the second time. I would have been fine if everything had continued like it did after the first time. We had both mutually agreed we couldn't be friends, so I got rid of his number and I thought he would do the same. And if he was set on the relationship not working due to age difference, then why keep inviting me over or give me a gift that could have gotten him fired. I rarely ever asked to come over, that was all his doing and the same goes with the texting, I rarely initiated texting compared to the amount of times he did. And when he did text me out of no where after 3 months, he wasn't out working, he was home.

Hanging out referred to us relaxing and watching tv or a movie, eating dinner, and having conversation. Sometimes it led to sex and me staying the night, but most of the occasions it didn't.

Also, the staring of me and my new bf wasn't because he wanted conversation. We could have easily exchanged hellos when I had handed him back the leash, but I knew from his demeanor that wasn't what he wanted. Hell he didn't even say thank you when I gave him back the leash. Also, my bf at the time also noticed him staring, but because he didn't know at the time of me and the trooper, he didn't think anything of it.

 

Whatever.

"He said it doesn't matter and we wouldn't ever hangout again. I ask why. He says I'm not getting it and I should stop texting him and he is going to stop texting me. So far that has been the end of it, at least I'm hoping it is."

So, what's the problem?

 

Be ever hopeful for that. As far as I can see there will be 'drama' until the grave.