Compersion

To think of a relationship in terms of "property rights" means there WILL be jealousy. To enjoy her fantasies, to create a safe space for her to share them, you have to let go of that. And so does she.

Jealousy is a big problem. Jealousy has just torn me to pieces, and destroyed or damaged my relationships. Maybe it's not as much of a problem for you.
--- merged: Apr 10, 2014 at 12:40 PM ---

Prove to the world??? What the world thinks is beyond irrelevant.

 

Property rights have more to do with maintaining a secure relationship in the most literal of terms and less to do with this pseudo-psychology and emotional gobbledygook. If my partner is banging someone else: Is this person a nutjob? Does this person have diseases? Is this person a criminal? Who else is this free spirit fucking? Is this person going to try to edge me out?

If I'm in a relationship of consequence (say I'm a married guy with obligations to family and occupation or whatever), I'm going to weigh the benefit of whatever recreational activities against my Real Adult responsibilities.

I'm all about having fun. I'll go balls deep all day, every day on the weekends. But I want my 9-to-5 to be squared away when I zip up.

It has been my experience that jealousy forms from a deficiency of doing good things for yourself. If you're super worried about your wife's sex fantasies for more than five minutes, you clearly aren't skydiving enough.

I don't know what it is about nervous, idle people and focus-on-sex issues but there is so much more out there in the world than pussies and dicks.

 

See, this is what I'm talking about.
--- merged: Apr 10, 2014 at 1:03 PM ---

Captain Obvious here.

Nervous people are nervous, it's how they are.

Every post on this particular thread has been focused on sex. There are a lot of other threads with discussions of Obamacare or lawn mower engines or vanished aircraft.

But much as I disagree, I really enjoy what you've brought to this discussion. Thanks.

 

I can see that. My issue with it here is that these problems often spill over from and into other aspects of the person's life. Nobody just has a X problem, they have a XYZ problem.

You didn't have just a jealousy problem, amiright? You had an insecurity problem and a communication problem and thus a sexual jealousy problem. Let me know if I'm way off.

I don't need compersion. I understand it but it doesn't fit into my life because I'm not jealous and my partner is somehow satisfied with just me.

My old lady will sit on the couch and sploosh herself talking about how hot Justin Hartley is in whatever show. Chicks and dudes like hot meat.

That's normal, isn't it?

I bring nothing to the table.

 

So communication helped -- what's so mysterious about that?

Given the lack of consensus on what that word means, I'm not even suggesting it any more.

Bullshit.

 

Heh, now you have to ask yourself if I was making that up or awkwardly baring my soul.

 

Dunno, maybe that if you drew a Venn diagram with all these desires and issues on it you would find that they don't necessarily overlap. I think that was my point. I'm pretty retarded and my attention span is way tiny.

Oh, Gary. Such a stoic.

 

I thought your point was that all those things are connected/related. Which they are.

 

Sometimes primitive graphics help:

Insecurity problem <--> Communication problem <--> Sexual jealousy problem

(any order you want, snake eats its own tail)

vs.

Jealous -|- Normal (Fun / Apathetic) -|- [Compersion]---> some other person

(floating status)

 

<--> would be a "All these things are interchangeable and interconnected, one causes the other which leads to the other-other."

-|- would be "Separate Schools of Being lily pads where you can park your ass in the discussion."

( . )( . ) would be "Ridiculous fake tits on a trophy wife."

 

In my experience, fake tits aren't just for trophy wives these days.

I like natural myself.