Bachelor Party?

I've been leaning on her brother for ideas, and I asked him to actually plan it, but he's another "whatever you want" kind of guy. He's not going to plan anything until I tell him exactly what I want to do. Last time we talked about it, I had a better idea before the conversation than after.

Go karting is another option. There's a place near here where they supposedly get up to 60mph. Real racing, safety gear, classes. But no alcohol and kind of pricey. But that or charter fishing were the two leading options until I found out there aren't any boats big enough for all of us.

Chances are, I'll be unable to decide, and there won't be a "party". I'll probably just go out for some beers with a couple of the guys.

Which is fine with me.

 

Haha, true! Well, thanks for all the input, I'll keep mulling it over for a couple more days. But something casual and low key is looking like what it's going to be. Maybe just grill and drink.

 

My brother in law had a party, and I had too much to drink and fell asleep back at the hotel before they went to the strip club that I picked out.

Yes, it was the best man and his friends that did the planning. They got all of the e-mails from everyone, and were open to suggestions. They knew it had to be in Chicago on a certain weekend. So we met up at the afternoon Cubs game (could be golfing or fishing) something laid back and easy. Then we went out to eat, then went to a beer and wine tasting party for some church's fundrasier, went back to the hotel to change and then they went to the strip club.

The guys that went split the bill and hotel room for the groom.

You can suggest certain activities, and set some rules (no strippers, porn, etc.), but it should be out of your hands. The groomsmen should plan it and just tell you where to be and when.

 

Im with everyone else do what YOU want to do. Its your last hoora so to speak. When is the wedding if I may ask?? I went to a friends bachelor party and we all went out to eat at a sports bar, had a few beers and went back to his place had some more beers and crashed.

 

Be like Weird Al. His bachelor party was a full day of paintball. It's a full day of fun with the guys and being covered with bruises rather than hickeys is a lot more tolerable to the wife-to-be.

 

Or at least they can act as camouflage for the hickeys...

 

Since you're getting married this summer, you should be able to reserve a space in a park somewhere (National or otherwise) where you can do what you seem to want. BBQ, drink, maybe throw a ball around. You just need to start looking for a spot before they are all reserved.

 

With the exception of a couple individuals, all of the groomsmen live in different states. I asked her brother to plan it instead of my cousin because I figured he lived here and would have a good idea on what to plan and how to organize it. Unfortunately, he keeps saying he's waiting for me to decide. I'm with others who say I shouldn't really be involved with the planning. Problem is, it looks like if I don't lay out concrete ideas and times, it won't happen.

I probably should have just had my cousin do it to begin with.

 

What states? I lived in a different state, and happened to be flying into Chicago from the West coast for work that weekend. I would still have made it if I was at home and 300+ miles away from Chicago.

Bachelor parties don't happen that often, and it is worth spending some money to travel.

 

I'm sure most, if not all, will make every attempt to attend. I was more worried about who was doing the planning. My initial thought process was to have someone plan it who lives in the area, and near enough to me where we see each other fairly regularly. At least more regularly than any of the others. I also ran this by my best man, and he thought it was a good idea. My cousin lives a couple hours from me, so that wouldn't have been too bad, but her brother only lives 15 minutes away and we watch their kids on occasion. I figured it would be easiest to go with him doing the planning.

Problem is, I keep giving him ideas and all he responds with is "well, whatever you want". Well, I like all of the ideas, otherwise I wouldn't have brought them up. So it doesn't matter to me what we do off of my list. I thought having someone do the planning meant I gave some ideas, people, and rules (no strippers) and he picked something, then took care of it.

Besides all of that, I'm really thinking I'd rather just hang out with my cousin, a couple high school friends, and a couple military buddies at some hole in the wall bar, playing pool or poker. Maybe a couple of us take our motorcycles out one day, then meet everyone else later. I'm not thrilled with the idea of 14 people. Especially, when there's at least one who doesn't talk to me unless he's bragging about something.

 

Here is the text of the e-mail the groom sent out for the last bachelor party I went to.

 

That's a damn fine idea.

 

My first bachelor party was a bunch of guys I barely knew sitting on a couch watching a tape I believe was titled "99 cumshots", then going to a bar having a beer, meeting the girl who was supposed to be our stripper ( she chickened out ), and getting a very large headache and going home. I opted out of a second party on my second marriage.

 

Don't think you have to invite her extended family either... if she has brothers then invite them, but outside of that, it's your party... if you want it to justbe you adn a few close friends and her bro's then that should be that...

 

I was under the impression that if they were in the wedding party, they were to be invited? Her brother is a groomsman and her cousin is an usher.

 

I'm pretty sure that the bachelor party is about You and Your mates ... your closest friends doing what you want to do.

That bit above, where you said:
"Besides all of that, I'm really thinking I'd rather just hang out with my cousin, a couple high school friends, and a couple military buddies at some hole in the wall bar, playing pool or poker. Maybe a couple of us take our motorcycles out one day, then meet everyone else later. I'm not thrilled with the idea of 14 people. Especially, when there's at least one who doesn't talk to me unless he's bragging about something."
That is your best so far. Listen to yourself "I'm REALLY THINKING" "I'd RATHER" "COUPLE" "NOT thrilled with the idea of 14 people" Feck ... those are definite parameters. And who are these "at least one who doesn't talk to me unless he's bragging about something."??? I mean ... would you want him/them in the same room as you, nevermind Your Bachelor Party?
Y'know ... here's a solid basis: Your posts show me that you don't really have strong ideas for what you DO want ... but you sure as heck know what you DON'T want ... and that immediately whittles down the options that you're likely to have a good time with. That's a start.

I'll finish by pointing out that I 'liked' Joniemack 's comment, and presenting you with a warning example in Your Own experience. Your fiancée's brother is the one you'd asked to get it sorted, but he's doing exactly the same thing your doing, and you don't like that. You NEED to come to SOME decision. He's going 'Whatever you want'. It's a habit to avoid like the plague, because some decisions are important to be made and to be made well. And when you get married, the quality of how the two of you make decisions will be part of the measure of the quality of the relationship itself. Pardon my mini preach, but Joniemack's warning to you is precisely what I'd have needed around 20 years ago.

Take care, and I hope your small bachelor party bike rally followed by drinks and pool with about 6 or 7 more people You Actually Like will go well, and be the opposite of what you hoped it wouldn't be

 

like Zen said, its who you want there