Altering Your History

Funnily, though, the worst decision of my life (marrying a completely incompatible girl and the horrendous end to that), happens to lead into a couple of the best years in my life, where a shared a house with my best mate, who had also just come badly out of a relationship. Wind the clock forward 15 years - he and I still live quite close (geographically), play golf together. Our relationship was strengthened by the male bonding we did.

Would I like to have not gone through with that marriage? Sure, but would I be as close to this guy without it? probably not.

That's why I don't want to change it - life is too intertwined to snip one thing and keep the rest "as is".

 

Well...

When I was a kid and I was in counseling, one of the first counselors, though well-renowned, a bit of a loony-tune, recommended I be sent away to Military School. Instead, I begged my parents to send me to a private Catholic High School (thinking better/higher quality of education... what I didn't know what how screwed-up the rich kids were).

I'd actually go back and change that. I'd say to them: "You'd spend the money to send my ass to Catholic High School, but not send me off to a Military Academy" (which probably would have done me more good than harm).

 

After thinking about this for some time, there is just too much risk involved. There are things that no matter what I changed I would not want effected, like my two grown sons who I am deeply proud of both. So what do I change that won't effect them; either their birth or their upbringing? Too much risk that it would impact them for my sake. I don't think it can be done. Unless I change the lottery tickets I purchased a few months ago.

 

If I could change anything it would be the way I behaved towards my mother as a teenager, I was evil and full of hateful hormones. My mother has always stood shoulder to shoulder with me, always supported me and always defended my actions whole heartedly. When I left home at eighteen and moved into a pub that I had been working in, she cried, she cried for weeks, each time I would visit she would cry until I left and then cry some more.
As things calmed down she explained that she hadn't lost her daughter she had lost her best friend. That made me feel like shit and even now when she is still supporting me I think of the years of worry and heartache I put her through and think that if I could, I would go back and appreciate all the sacrifices she made for me and give her an easier ride.
My mum is fab.

 

Two things I'd change that my MOM was always on my case about, Take better care of your teeth, and do your piano practice.
Better teeth and the ability to play the piano, even just for myself....otherwise at my ripe old age....pretty good...

 

I'd go back and make sure I said yes to a few small opportunities that I wussed out on. Nothing big, but the regret eats me up that I was afraid to try things.

 

I believe the negative aspects of my life have profoundly affected me, shaped me, helped me understand things that I would not otherwise understand. I believe I am better for it. Though I can state I have been victimized in many ways throughout my life, I am no victim as a result. I wouldn't change a thing.

 

That's part of being a good parent. She is indeed fab.