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Adult Science Jokes

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by genuinemommy, Nov 21, 2011.

Page 41 of 67
  1. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    A mosquito was heard to complain
    That chemists had poisoned her brain.
    The cause of her sorrow
    Was para-dichloro-
    diphenyl-trichloroethane.
     
    rogue49, Jan 5, 2014
    #801
    • Like Like x 2
  2. Street Pattern

    Street Pattern Very Tilted

    Location:
    The American Midwest
    I hadn't thought about that word (the long name for DDT) in years!
     
    Street Pattern, Jan 5, 2014
    #802
  3. hamsterball

    hamsterball Seeking New Outlets

    Location:
    Coming soon to a galaxy near you

    The organic chemist in me just has to smile! :D
     
    hamsterball, Jan 5, 2014
    #803
  4. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    [​IMG]


    I'm fascinated by the effects of gravity... :)
     
    rogue49, Jan 6, 2014
    #804
    • Like Like x 1
  5. hamsterball

    hamsterball Seeking New Outlets

    Location:
    Coming soon to a galaxy near you
    [​IMG]
     
    hamsterball, Jan 6, 2014
    #805
    • Like Like x 1
  6. hamsterball

    hamsterball Seeking New Outlets

    Location:
    Coming soon to a galaxy near you
    [​IMG]
     
    hamsterball, Jan 7, 2014
    #806
  7. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    Psychiatrist to patient: "Don't worry. You're not deluded.
    You only think you are."
     
    rogue49, Jan 7, 2014
    #807
    • Like Like x 1
  8. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    After sex, one behaviorist turned to another behaviorist and said,
    "That was great for you, but how was it for me?"




    I'll have to remember that one next time... ;)
     
    rogue49, Jan 9, 2014
    #808
    • Like Like x 2
  9. hamsterball

    hamsterball Seeking New Outlets

    Location:
    Coming soon to a galaxy near you
    Scientists have unearthed evidence of the first known stand-up comic...

    [​IMG]
     
    hamsterball, Jan 9, 2014
    #809
    • Like Like x 1
  10. genuinemommy

    genuinemommy Moderator Staff Member

    This. is. epic. Thank you for making me laugh this morning.
     
    genuinemommy, Jan 10, 2014
    #810
    • Like Like x 1
  11. hamsterball

    hamsterball Seeking New Outlets

    Location:
    Coming soon to a galaxy near you
    Anytime!
     
    hamsterball, Jan 10, 2014
    #811
  12. hamsterball

    hamsterball Seeking New Outlets

    Location:
    Coming soon to a galaxy near you
    A chicken and an egg

    A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face. The egg, looking a bit ticked off, grabs the sheet, rolls over and says ... Well, I guess we finally answered "THAT question!"
    --- merged: Jan 10, 2014 at 6:27 PM ---
    In my laboratory days, I was an organic chemist....

    [​IMG]
    --- merged: Jan 10, 2014 at 6:34 PM ---
    Apologies in advance...

    Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
    A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

    Q: What is the most important rule in chemistry?
    A: Never lick the spoon!

    Q: What emotional disorder does a gas chomatograph suffer from?
    A: Separation anxiety.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 17, 2014
    hamsterball, Jan 10, 2014
    #812
    • Like Like x 1
  13. Katia

    Katia Very Tilted

    Location:
    Earth
    [​IMG]
     
    Katia, Jan 10, 2014
    #813
    • Like Like x 2
  14. hamsterball

    hamsterball Seeking New Outlets

    Location:
    Coming soon to a galaxy near you

    Good one! I love it!
    --- merged: Jan 10, 2014 at 7:08 PM ---
    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 17, 2014
    hamsterball, Jan 10, 2014
    #814
    • Like Like x 1
  15. fjmollot

    fjmollot Getting Tilted

    I love this one!
     
    fjmollot, Jan 10, 2014
    #815
  16. hamsterball

    hamsterball Seeking New Outlets

    Location:
    Coming soon to a galaxy near you
    [​IMG]
     
    hamsterball, Jan 10, 2014
    #816
  17. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    What do scientists say when they go to the bar?

    Climate change scientists say: "Where's the ice?"
    Seismologists might ask for their drinks to be "shaken and not stirred".
    Microbiologists request just a small one.
    Neuroscientists ask for their drinks "to be spiked".
    Scientists studying the defective gubernaculum say: "Put mine in a highball",
    and finally, social scientists say: "I'd like something soft."

    When paying at the bar, geneticists say: "I think I have some change in my jeans."
    And at the end of the evening a shy benzene biochemist might say to his companion: "Please give me a ring."
     
    rogue49, Jan 11, 2014
    #817
  18. Street Pattern

    Street Pattern Very Tilted

    Location:
    The American Midwest
    Dr. Ward Giltner, author of one of the first textbooks in that field, strongly preferred "microbologist" (i.e., studying microbes) to "microbiologist". He said that a microbiologist is a very small biologist.
     
    Street Pattern, Jan 11, 2014
    #818
    • Like Like x 1
  19. rogue49

    rogue49 Tech Kung Fu Artist Staff Member

    Location:
    Baltimore/DC
    A weed scientist goes into a shop...

    He asks: "Hey, you got any of that inhibitor of 3-phosphoshikimate-carboxyvinyl transferase?
    Shopkeeper: "You mean Roundup?"
    Scientist: "Yeah, that's it. I can never remember that dang name."


    You know, I've got the same problem... :confused:
     
    rogue49, Jan 11, 2014
    #819
    • Like Like x 2
  20. hamsterball

    hamsterball Seeking New Outlets

    Location:
    Coming soon to a galaxy near you
    and I do an awesome pentagon, too....

    [​IMG]
     
    hamsterball, Jan 11, 2014
    #820
    • Like Like x 2
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