Adult Science Jokes

Physicists are gangsta...

 

The last words of a chemist:

1. And now the tasting test.
2. May that become hot?
3. And now a little bit from this...
4. ... and please keep that test tube alone!
5. And now shake it a bit.
6. Why is there no label on this bottle?
7. In which glass was my mineral water?
8. The bunschen burnes *is* out!
9. Why does that stuff burn with a green flame?!?
10. *H* stands for Nitrogen - and that does *not* burn...
11. Oh, now I have spilt something...
12. First the acid, then the water...
13. And now the detonating gas problem.
14. This is a completely safe experimental setup.
15. Where did I put my gloves?
16. O no, wrong beaker...
17. The fire alarm is just being tested.
18. Now you can take the protection window away...
19. And now keep ith constat at 24 degrees celsius, 25... 26... 27...
20. Peter can you please help me. Peter!?! Peeeeeteeeeer?!?!?!?
21. I feel it how long 15 seconds are!
22. Something is wrong here...
23. Where do all those holes in my kettle come from?
24. Trust me - I know what I am doing.
25. And now a cigarette...

 

'nuff said...

 

Three men are in a hot-air balloon.
Soon, they find themselves lost in a canyon somewhere.
One of the three men says, "I've got an idea.
We can call for help in this canyon and the echo will carry our voices far."

So he leans over the basket and yells out, "Helllloooooo! Where are we?" (They hear the echo several times.)

15 minutes later, they hear this echoing voice: "Helllloooooo! You're lost!!"

One of the men says, "That must have been a mathematician."

Puzzled, one of the other men asks, "Why do you say that?"

The reply: "For three reasons.
(1) he took a long time to answer, (2) he was absolutely correct, and (3) his answer was absolutely useless."

 

How much better geek can you get...Star Trek & Physics playing together for yuks.

 

A law, if I ever heard one...

 

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Yep, feel like it this morning...TGIF ​

 

Botany is the science in which plants are known by their aliases.

 

Two elderly gentlemen were visiting college...
"I guess you're never too old," the first one boasted.
"Why just yesterday a pretty college girl said she'd be interested in dating me. But to be perfectly honest, I don't quite understand it."
"Well," said his friend, "you have to remember that nowadays women are more aggressive. They don't mind being the one to ask."
"No, I don't think it's that." "Well, maybe you remind her of her father."
"No, it's not that either. It's just that she also mentioned something about carbon 14."



I need a date

 

Why did the chicken cross the road???
Albert Einstein...

• 
  Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?
• Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
• It was a relatively easy thing to do.
• The true value of a chicken can be found in the degree to which it has attained liberation from the self.

Everything's Relative...

 

Oh Yeah!! - TGIF

 

...and neither have you, even though it's a Monday.

 

KISS - start at the basics...

 

Yep, I wonder why they pay me too...suckers