Bad winter for me. - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

leftyderek · 01-09-2006, 05:10 AM

So I just had a really terrible end- and start-of-year.
My girlfriend whom I thought would really be the one told me that she doesn't have enough strength to go on with our long distance relationship.
I met her a year ago, when we were both studying in Norway. Things went just so fine until I graduate from there and go to university in Canada while she is still finishing her last year in Norway. By the way I spent a whole month at her place for christmas and new year after not seeing her for 4 months. But now that's it I guess and the return trip back to Canada was hell for me.

I just cannot make up my mind what to do. She told me just now she wish she could sit next to me, hug me and hold my hand right now and she's sorry for hurting me so much. What is going on?

Not too long after we broke up yesterday, a really close friend of mine told me that my ex-'s close friend admits to my close friend that he has fallen in love with my ex-. And that friend told me the friend of my ex- said he was sure that my ex- would love him also, or something similar to that. Sorry if it is too confusing. What I got from my ex was that she is not interested in him. I also asked if she broke up with me because of someone else, and I got a solid no. But the little bit of information I got frmo my close friend just confuses me a bit. And apparently my ex, that guy and his roomate were planning to have a roadtrip in Europe this summer, while my ex told me she would be having a summerjob at home. Maybe she changed her plans, maybe it was a misunderstanding. I am a paranoid and imaginative person- hence all these confusions.

Then again I do trust her. She told me she won't get together with someone else like within a short time, and very honestly they only have around half a year left in Norway. Also honestly if she thinks it is better for her, I would be happy for her too.

I don't really get it. What is going on? If she doesn't love me anymore, why would she tell me that she wish she could sit next to me and hold my hands or give me a hug? Just out of guilt and pity or what?

Ah well. Sorry. Jet lag and grief. Not a good combination.

And I lost my tobacco pipe during a metal concert. It was a nice pipe...

Don't really know why I typed this post, just say something here if you wish to.

maleficent · 01-09-2006, 05:16 AM

Tough situation, I'm sorry you're hurting... long distance love is always tough and not everyone can handle it...

Once you've recovered from your jet lag, I hope you feel a little better...

Poppinjay · 01-09-2006, 05:19 AM

I'm sure the wish she has about wanting to sit next to you and hold your hand is genuine. Long distance relationships are a bit too much for 99% of the population under 30, which is the way it should be. It's likely better for the both of you.

She may well be getting together with this other guy, but she doesn't want you to know that because it feels to her like she betrayed you, and it also hurts your feelings that much more. But it's pretty natural that that should happen. At that stage in life, it's difficult to stay in a relationship with somebody the next town over, let alone half a world away.

leftyderek · 01-09-2006, 05:58 AM

I don't know.
In a sense I do agree that we might be too young for that-
but on the other hand I think I'm ready for that though.

And the thing is that she's still applying to the university I'm in right now. Yes it isn't a small uni so we won't neccessarily meet each other- but you know, it just gives (false maybe,) hopes. (Then again that guy also applied to mine, well not only mine but yeah, that just adds even more suspecion)

Sigh.

scratchmyback · 01-09-2006, 06:51 PM

She cares about you and doesn't want to hurt you, thus the talk about sitting next to you and holding your hands. Give up any idea that this romance will rekindle itself. She also doesn't want to hurt you by telling you about the other guy. Your suspicions are probably correct though but you just have to deal with it and move on with your life. I'm sorry you are going through all this hurt and pain right now but it's all part of living.

01-09-2006, 05:10 AM	#1 (permalink)
leftyderek Crazy Location: Currently Canada. I have been in Norway in the last two years, and in Hong Kong before Norway.	Bad winter for me. So I just had a really terrible end- and start-of-year. My girlfriend whom I thought would really be the one told me that she doesn't have enough strength to go on with our long distance relationship. I met her a year ago, when we were both studying in Norway. Things went just so fine until I graduate from there and go to university in Canada while she is still finishing her last year in Norway. By the way I spent a whole month at her place for christmas and new year after not seeing her for 4 months. But now that's it I guess and the return trip back to Canada was hell for me. I just cannot make up my mind what to do. She told me just now she wish she could sit next to me, hug me and hold my hand right now and she's sorry for hurting me so much. What is going on? Not too long after we broke up yesterday, a really close friend of mine told me that my ex-'s close friend admits to my close friend that he has fallen in love with my ex-. And that friend told me the friend of my ex- said he was sure that my ex- would love him also, or something similar to that. Sorry if it is too confusing. What I got from my ex was that she is not interested in him. I also asked if she broke up with me because of someone else, and I got a solid no. But the little bit of information I got frmo my close friend just confuses me a bit. And apparently my ex, that guy and his roomate were planning to have a roadtrip in Europe this summer, while my ex told me she would be having a summerjob at home. Maybe she changed her plans, maybe it was a misunderstanding. I am a paranoid and imaginative person- hence all these confusions. Then again I do trust her. She told me she won't get together with someone else like within a short time, and very honestly they only have around half a year left in Norway. Also honestly if she thinks it is better for her, I would be happy for her too. I don't really get it. What is going on? If she doesn't love me anymore, why would she tell me that she wish she could sit next to me and hold my hands or give me a hug? Just out of guilt and pity or what? Ah well. Sorry. Jet lag and grief. Not a good combination. And I lost my tobacco pipe during a metal concert. It was a nice pipe... Don't really know why I typed this post, just say something here if you wish to. __________________ -Imagine how beautiful the world would be if we could only do things for the first-and-last time. Imagine this is the last time you would ever be able to imagine. Imagine that. -Die Lust der Zerstörung ist gleichzeitig eine schaffende Lust. -...and god said Lx1,go! and there was light...

01-09-2006, 05:16 AM	#2 (permalink)
maleficent Junkie Moderator Emeritus Location: Chicago	Tough situation, I'm sorry you're hurting... long distance love is always tough and not everyone can handle it... Once you've recovered from your jet lag, I hope you feel a little better... __________________ Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.

01-09-2006, 05:19 AM	#3 (permalink)
Poppinjay You had me at hello Location: DC/Coastal VA	I'm sure the wish she has about wanting to sit next to you and hold your hand is genuine. Long distance relationships are a bit too much for 99% of the population under 30, which is the way it should be. It's likely better for the both of you. She may well be getting together with this other guy, but she doesn't want you to know that because it feels to her like she betrayed you, and it also hurts your feelings that much more. But it's pretty natural that that should happen. At that stage in life, it's difficult to stay in a relationship with somebody the next town over, let alone half a world away. __________________ I think the Apocalypse is happening all around us. We go on eating desserts and watching TV. I know I do. I wish we were more capable of sustained passion and sustained resistance. We should be screaming and what we do is gossip. -Lydia Millet

01-09-2006, 05:58 AM	#4 (permalink)
leftyderek Crazy Location: Currently Canada. I have been in Norway in the last two years, and in Hong Kong before Norway.	I don't know. In a sense I do agree that we might be too young for that- but on the other hand I think I'm ready for that though. And the thing is that she's still applying to the university I'm in right now. Yes it isn't a small uni so we won't neccessarily meet each other- but you know, it just gives (false maybe,) hopes. (Then again that guy also applied to mine, well not only mine but yeah, that just adds even more suspecion) Sigh. __________________ -Imagine how beautiful the world would be if we could only do things for the first-and-last time. Imagine this is the last time you would ever be able to imagine. Imagine that. -Die Lust der Zerstörung ist gleichzeitig eine schaffende Lust. -...and god said Lx1,go! and there was light...

01-09-2006, 06:51 PM	#5 (permalink)
scratchmyback Upright Location: east of Yonge Street	She cares about you and doesn't want to hurt you, thus the talk about sitting next to you and holding your hands. Give up any idea that this romance will rekindle itself. She also doesn't want to hurt you by telling you about the other guy. Your suspicions are probably correct though but you just have to deal with it and move on with your life. I'm sorry you are going through all this hurt and pain right now but it's all part of living. __________________ No time to get down cause I'm moving up