smooth

I didn't know this until recently, but standard STD screening doesn't check for herpes.
You have to specifically ask for an IGG type-specific test.

The current stats are 1 in 5 men and 1 in 4 women have hsv-2 (statistically genital herpes) and 90% of them do not know they have it.

I'm learning this in what is looking to be the hard way

__________________
"The theory of a free press is that truth will emerge from free discussion, not that it will be presented perfectly and instantly in any one account." -- Walter Lippmann

"You measure democracy by the freedom it gives its dissidents, not the freedom it gives its assimilated conformists." -- Abbie Hoffman

Martian

smooth, that serves to illustrate my point really. My case is a bad example, as we've been together for a year now and neither of us had been active for about a year prior to that, which is why we can be reasonably sure that we're okay. I'm also as sure as I've ever been that this is the girl I want to spend the rest of my life with. If that's not the case, if the relationship hasn't been going on for very long or if you have any doubts at all, it's just not worth the risk.

__________________
I wake up in the morning more tired than before I slept
I get through cryin' and I'm sadder than before I wept
I get through thinkin' now, and the thoughts have left my head
I get through speakin' and I can't remember, not a word that I said

- Ben Harper, Show Me A Little Shame

smooth

I don't mean to turn this into a herpes thread, but the original direction from the OP sure wasn't really doing much for me, to be truthful...

anyway, I've been married for 5 years and before that was celibate for 4. Anything I have would be from 9 years ago...my wife was postively clean before she met me. Herpes can go unnoticed for years even with outbreaks and it can lurk for decades without the person even having a first episode.

Of course, you're right in that it doesn't much matter if you plan on being together forever since you would either need to go on daily suppressives and/or use condoms each session and that won't do for a monogamous couple! But the point is that you may or may not be clean as far as that particular STD goes, there really isn't any way to tell other than asking for a type specific test, and even then there are issues...length of time without a visible indicator doesn't work as a bill of OK. Even doctors have a difficult enough time diagnosing a full blown outbreak.

eh, I didn't mean to lecture you. I was just passing something along that I've recently had to learn a lot about.

__________________
"The theory of a free press is that truth will emerge from free discussion, not that it will be presented perfectly and instantly in any one account." -- Walter Lippmann

"You measure democracy by the freedom it gives its dissidents, not the freedom it gives its assimilated conformists." -- Abbie Hoffman

Martian

smooth, you're not lecturing so no worries. I understand and appreciate what you're saying. If I'm going to be totally honest, I know that it's unwise for us not to be using condoms right now, but the reality of it is that it is, in our opinion, worth the risk.

Seriously, I appreciate the input. And even if it doesn't change how I do things (I'll be brutally honest and tell you it won't), it could help someone. Thank you.

__________________
I wake up in the morning more tired than before I slept
I get through cryin' and I'm sadder than before I wept
I get through thinkin' now, and the thoughts have left my head
I get through speakin' and I can't remember, not a word that I said

- Ben Harper, Show Me A Little Shame