"He's just not that into you"
 

how do u let go of someone who is clearly not that into you. clearly meaning he has a girlfriend and i'm the other woman,yet again,he's had a girlfriend before this one,and i was the other woman then as well. yes i know "he's just not into me". so someone PLZ bang my head against a wall and hope some sense will be instilled.

Ah, stuff like this is always tricky- letting go of someone you like but who is obviously not very "in" the relationship.

The best way that I know of is to cut all ties. No more phone calls, no more hookups, just let everything slide... and time will have to heal the wound, not much else will make it better. What I'd try to do, though, is get out and be sociable. You don't have to try and start dating, but just go enjoy the company of other people, have some fun. That should hopefully raise your spirits a little, and open you up to more people- and maybe one of them will appreciate you more and not use you as a second option.

**Grab's Rogue's head and smacks it against the nearest wall**

WHACK!!!!

:crazy: :crazy: :crazy:
**Rogue remains standing with a very dazed and confused look in her eyes**
:crazy: :crazy: :crazy:


There you go... I hope it didn't hurt too much and that the procedure successfully added some sense into you.


**Makes quick exit before the police shows up**



In all seriousness though, I think you should go with what Analog said and cut off contact with that guy and move on to a healthier relationship where you won't be "the other woman" and where you'll be appreciated.

What does being the other woman give you?
How does knowing you aren't his first choice, and knowing that he won't be there when you need him make you feel?
Aren't you worthy of respect -- both from yourself and from the man in your life?

Some women out there, feel that any man, even one who doesn't treat them as they should, is better than no man at all... That's not the case.

Just ask yourself one simple question; "Don't I deserve better than this?". If the answer is yes, and I believe that it is, then your direction is clear. Yeah, I know, easier said than done, right? Take a moment to reread Analog's post. He actually gave you some very good advice. Time will heal the pain. But, not if he's still "in the wings", so to speak. Find something, anything, to fill your time and occupy your mind. Then, when you least expect it, you can look up and realize that...you're going to be allright.

*Hugs Rogue*
This sucks. I'm sorry you're going through it. I'm sorry you're allowing yourself to go through it.

It's time for *You* to take the power and control in this relationship. Why does he get to call all the shots about how you feel? You take it back, and you walk away with it.

Easier said than done, I know, but we're cheering for ya!

I've been in a similar situation. With me I was so into him that I didn;t care that he wasn't in to me and ended up making an ass out of myself. You don't want to do that. Best advice is to sever all ties with this guy no matter how much you don't want to. It sucks, but it is the best solution.

Well here is my *bang* against the wall.

Is it possible that you are still attracted to the old him or worse to an idea or a dream you might have had when the two of you first met?

Ok, take this from a woman who has been there. There is absolutely nothing anyone can tell you to knock some sense into you. You will just have to ride it out. Soon you will wake up and realize you have had enough and let him go. That's exactly what happened to me. But I am exremely stubborn. It might be easier for you. I don't know how long you have been seeing him, but I was in that situation for ten months. Good luck :)

Try to convince yourself that he doesn't deserve you. It's probably true, but it can be difficult to realize when you're blinded by love.

Thank You guys, for all your replies and support. i'll try my best to move on with my life without being the other guys. I AM REALLY WORTH MORE IN LIFE.

Good Job.....now act on it

somtimes the hardest thing (and i know this has been said, but its worth repeating) delete his existance from your life. and tell him youre doing that, he'll get the hint that he didnt give you what you need and deserve.

carpe diem and save yourself from inherent misery.

WHAM!!!! Did that help?

"He's just not that into you."

"He's just not that into you." Funny thing is that there is a pretty famous book by this title. My girlfriend is reading it and a few girls I know have read it. There is also a second book somthing along the lines of "its called a break up because its broken". Check them out. ;)

well guys.sorry to say but i was very weak.yes i hooked up with him once again. i guess i'm a sukker for punishment and for him. i'll come around soon...i hope.

*smacks Rogue upside the head* :crazy:

So, Rouge, what are you getting out of this relationship with him? There must be something, or you wouldn't be going back to him.

Don't you deserve more than how this boy treats people?

If you don't see him, you can't hook up. Make your decision, and stick to it. Not easy, I know. But you have to make your choice when you're clear-headed (read: not around him), and then do whatever it takes to stick to it. If that means not talking to him, not seeing him, then *plan* to do that. Visualize yourself doing exactly that in advance. Practice, if you will. I'm a huge believer in positive visualization.

Go out and meet someone else!

You are a woman, one of the most beautiful beings (in so many ways) to ever walk the earth. Now can you answer what about you is good enough to be with sometime yet not all the time??? What about you makes you only worthy of being second best???





In case you didn't know, the correct answer is NOTHING. He doesn't deserve you, so don't grace him with you. Grace someone who actually deserves to have a wonderful woman.

In the past, I have seen this in others and it was a self-esteem issue. You feel like a slug for doing it, so you punish yourself by continuing to do it. Until you improve your self-esteem, the cycle will continue.

You will never find the right person because you are incomplete. The reason you are an incomplete person is because he holds a piece of you. You can't give yourself completely to the new person as long as he holds his piece. In the mean time, that right person will pass you by.

So, be selfish with yourself! It's the most valuable possession you own!

*smacks Rogue upside the head*
 

thanks there healer, but you should have smacked me on Saturday.

heh, people like sex, and mistakes happen. Maybe now that it's happened this extra time, the change can begin to better things. :)

well guys, you'll be glad to know ..yes its over.it all came crashing down,so hopefully i wont set my standards that low again.thanks for the words guys.

Well Rogue, I'm sure you must be hurting a bit after all that. *hugs* But you take care of *yourself*, and realize now that you have made the necessary arrangements to vastly improve your life. Yay! It's gonna get better from here on out! :)
Congrats.

Congratulations on moving on. I'm certain it was difficult, but at least you were able to do it, and I'm sure you'll survive it. Someone who will want you and only you will definitely come your way....It jus takes some time.