Ladies' thoughts on celibate men - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

doncalypso · 11-04-2005, 02:21 PM

Ladies of TFP,

What do you think of men who are celibate (be they celibate by choice or going through a dry spell)?

How is your interest in a man affected if you find out that he hasn't had sex for an extended period of time? Does it make any difference to you whether it is by choice or circumstances?

Would you get involved with a man if you knew he hadn't gotten laid in over 6 months? ...in over a year? ...in more than two years?

What really goes on through your minds when you find out a man's been celibate for a long time? Do you see a man's lack of sexual activity as a sign of weakness or lack of masculinity? ...or does it not bother you at all?

I'd really like to hear your feedback on that one.

ktspktsp · 11-04-2005, 09:18 PM

EDIT!!!!!! THIS IS ABAYA POSTING, I accidentally did not log my bf out... a terrible habit of mine.

I respect a man more the longer he has gone without sex, without being bothered by it. If he is totally confident in himself without consideration of the last time he got laid, then I find that very sexy. As I have stated, my bf was a virgin when we got together... I found 24 years of not getting laid to be the hottest thing I'd ever seen. I laid him quickly, and we're still going at it.

Cynthetiq · 11-07-2005, 03:42 AM

do a search on celibate here and you'll see that I have been celibate for 3.5 years at one point in time in my life.

It was a personal choice and challenge to make it to 5 years.

Girls literally took off their clothes and threw themselves at me trying to make me change my ways.

stingc · 11-07-2005, 03:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cynthetiq

Girls literally took off their clothes and threw themselves at me trying to make me change my ways.

Interesting. Maybe I should start advertising how long I've been single

.

doncalypso · 11-07-2005, 03:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cynthetiq

do a search on celibate here and you'll see that I have been celibate for 3.5 years at one point in time in my life.

It was a personal choice and challenge to make it to 5 years.

Girls literally took off their clothes and threw themselves at me trying to make me change my ways.

So.... did you make your goal of staying celibate for 5 years?

I'm currently celibate partly by choice and mostly by circumstances. I started graduate school in August and I'm going for my Master of Science in Biology at Villanova University. Between my grad classes, my teaching assistantship, and the time required out of the classroom (studying and grading my students' lab quizzes and post-lab reports) I don't have any time for dating or even seeking sex so I've chosen to remain celibate until I complete my graduate education.

My hope is that when I go for my PhD I'll have a bit more free time to get involved with someone, but if that doesn't happen I'm willing to go celibate for as many years as necessary until I'm totally done with school.

This being said, I'm totally open to flings and booty-calls if those come my way, but I will stick by my decision to not chase after sex while doing my graduate education.

little_tippler · 11-07-2005, 05:49 AM

I'd much rather be with a guy who's had a few sexual relationships than one who's had lots of casual encounters. Whne I met my SO we both wished we had been each others' first. Corny huh? I don't really mind either way but I get turned off by men who sleep around a lot.

katie_ann1031 · 11-07-2005, 02:05 PM

I'll be honest with you, while the topic of a man's celebecy has never came up before, the idea of a celebit man is a bit of a turn off. I like a sexually agressive man, a man who knows what he wants and goes for it. It is a trait that I find attractive. Call me shallow, but I like a man who "gets around" because a man who knows his way in the bedroom is sexy. The biggest turn off for me is explaining to someone what to do to me.

doncalypso · 11-07-2005, 05:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by katie_ann1031

I'll be honest with you, while the topic of a man's celebecy has never came up before, the idea of a celebit man is a bit of a turn off. I like a sexually agressive man, a man who knows what he wants and goes for it. It is a trait that I find attractive. Call me shallow, but I like a man who "gets around" because a man who knows his way in the bedroom is sexy. The biggest turn off for me is explaining to someone what to do to me.

So you would dismiss a man as a potential lover simply based on the fact that he hasn't had much experience with sex?

If all women thought like you do then how would inexperienced men be able to gain sexual expertise if no woman wanted to sleep with sexual "rookies"?

Mantus · 11-07-2005, 07:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by doncalypso

So you would dismiss a man as a potential lover simply based on the fact that he hasn't had much experience with sex?

If all women thought like you do then how would inexperienced men be able to gain sexual expertise if no woman wanted to sleep with sexual "rookies"?

But thats not the case. The rookies are fine, they get to have fun with other rookies, or like most guys, they tell little lies

Xazy · 11-08-2005, 03:32 AM

I religeously grew up with the policy no ding with no ring. And I definately met some gals who thought it would be a challenge to change that. It was like a challenge for some of them, I think.

MSD · 11-08-2005, 07:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by doncalypso

So.... did you make your goal of staying celibate for 5 years?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cynthetiq

do a search on celibate here and you'll see that I have been celibate for 3.5 years at one point in time in my life.

It was a personal choice and challenge to make it to 5 years.

<!fuck you, ten character minimum>

JustJess · 11-08-2005, 07:34 AM

It wouldn't make a difference to me at all. I might inquire as to why, but unless it's a disease, it wouldn't matter to me why. Just because he hasn't been with someone in a while, or at all - whether by choice or being rejected or just not having time - means nothing with regards to whether I'M attracted to him. I don't care what others thought - all that matters is what I think and feel and what he thinks/feels.
Bring it on!

As for the very experienced... I do feel a little more negatively about them. The less or medium experienced, I've found, are more honest in their reactions, more passionate. If you've been with 30 women, I'm guessing you don't take sex very seriously. I like a good roll in the hay like anyone else, but being one of dozens makes me feel pretty unimportant... I'll wonder if he'll even remember my name. And there's always the fact that for me, I find a little inexperience charming.

katie_ann1031 · 11-08-2005, 09:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by doncalypso

So you would dismiss a man as a potential lover simply based on the fact that he hasn't had much experience with sex?

If all women thought like you do then how would inexperienced men be able to gain sexual expertise if no woman wanted to sleep with sexual "rookies"?

But all women don't think like me and that's what makes the world great. I am not going to appologize for wanting a man to have some experience in lovemaking. Granted I don't know what every inexperienced man is like, but when I was in college I was with a couple of rookies as you call it, and frankly I just wasn't that into it. Sorry, just the way I am.

skier · 11-08-2005, 09:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by katie_ann1031

But all women don't think like me and that's what makes the world great. I am not going to appologize for wanting a man to have some experience in lovemaking. Granted I don't know what every inexperienced man is like, but when I was in college I was with a couple of rookies as you call it, and frankly I just wasn't that into it. Sorry, just the way I am.

Hooray! Stick to your beliefs.

Cynthetiq · 11-08-2005, 09:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by katie_ann1031

But all women don't think like me and that's what makes the world great. I am not going to appologize for wanting a man to have some experience in lovemaking. Granted I don't know what every inexperienced man is like, but when I was in college I was with a couple of rookies as you call it, and frankly I just wasn't that into it. Sorry, just the way I am.

nothing wrong with it... I've had my share of virgins and well.. quite honestly.. B O R I N G.

11-04-2005, 02:21 PM	#1 (permalink)
doncalypso TFP Mad Scientist Location: Philadelphia, PA	Ladies' thoughts on celibate men Ladies of TFP, What do you think of men who are celibate (be they celibate by choice or going through a dry spell)? How is your interest in a man affected if you find out that he hasn't had sex for an extended period of time? Does it make any difference to you whether it is by choice or circumstances? Would you get involved with a man if you knew he hadn't gotten laid in over 6 months? ...in over a year? ...in more than two years? What really goes on through your minds when you find out a man's been celibate for a long time? Do you see a man's lack of sexual activity as a sign of weakness or lack of masculinity? ...or does it not bother you at all? I'd really like to hear your feedback on that one. __________________ Doncalypso... the one and only Haitian Sensation

11-07-2005, 03:42 AM	#3 (permalink)
Cynthetiq Tilted Cat Head Administrator Location: Manhattan, NY	do a search on celibate here and you'll see that I have been celibate for 3.5 years at one point in time in my life. It was a personal choice and challenge to make it to 5 years. Girls literally took off their clothes and threw themselves at me trying to make me change my ways. __________________ I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not. What's the best nation in the world? DO-NATION!

11-07-2005, 05:49 AM	#6 (permalink)
little_tippler Leaning against the -Sun- Super Moderator Location: on the other side	I'd much rather be with a guy who's had a few sexual relationships than one who's had lots of casual encounters. Whne I met my SO we both wished we had been each others' first. Corny huh? I don't really mind either way but I get turned off by men who sleep around a lot. __________________ Whether we write or speak or do but look We are ever unapparent. What we are Cannot be transfused into word or book. Our soul from us is infinitely far. However much we give our thoughts the will To be our soul and gesture it abroad, Our hearts are incommunicable still. In what we show ourselves we are ignored. The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged By any skill of thought or trick of seeming. Unto our very selves we are abridged When we would utter to our thought our being. We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams, And each to each other dreams of others' dreams. Fernando Pessoa, 1918

11-08-2005, 07:34 AM	#12 (permalink)
JustJess Unencapsulated Location: Kittyville	It wouldn't make a difference to me at all. I might inquire as to why, but unless it's a disease, it wouldn't matter to me why. Just because he hasn't been with someone in a while, or at all - whether by choice or being rejected or just not having time - means nothing with regards to whether I'M attracted to him. I don't care what others thought - all that matters is what I think and feel and what he thinks/feels. Bring it on! As for the very experienced... I do feel a little more negatively about them. The less or medium experienced, I've found, are more honest in their reactions, more passionate. If you've been with 30 women, I'm guessing you don't take sex very seriously. I like a good roll in the hay like anyone else, but being one of dozens makes me feel pretty unimportant... I'll wonder if he'll even remember my name. And there's always the fact that for me, I find a little inexperience charming. __________________ My heart knows me better than I know myself, so I'm gonna let it do all the talkin'.

11-04-2005, 09:18 PM	#2 (permalink)
ktspktsp Addict Location: Reykjavik, Iceland	EDIT!!!!!! THIS IS ABAYA POSTING, I accidentally did not log my bf out... a terrible habit of mine. I respect a man more the longer he has gone without sex, without being bothered by it. If he is totally confident in himself without consideration of the last time he got laid, then I find that very sexy. As I have stated, my bf was a virgin when we got together... I found 24 years of not getting laid to be the hottest thing I'd ever seen. I laid him quickly, and we're still going at it.

11-07-2005, 02:05 PM	#7 (permalink)
katie_ann1031 Tilted Location: New Hampshuh	I'll be honest with you, while the topic of a man's celebecy has never came up before, the idea of a celebit man is a bit of a turn off. I like a sexually agressive man, a man who knows what he wants and goes for it. It is a trait that I find attractive. Call me shallow, but I like a man who "gets around" because a man who knows his way in the bedroom is sexy. The biggest turn off for me is explaining to someone what to do to me.

11-08-2005, 03:32 AM	#10 (permalink)
Xazy People in masks cannot be trusted Location: NYC	I religeously grew up with the policy no ding with no ring. And I definately met some gals who thought it would be a challenge to change that. It was like a challenge for some of them, I think.