joemc91

Tonight I was supremely pissed off by one woman. She hit on me quite obviously, which was a nice change of pace, since the usual stream of rejections gets old quick. This was at a club, so we started dancing and talking. She then asks the question "Are you 25?". My response to that is "what's that matter? how old are you then?". She blushed so I just said "but, judging by the question, you're 25" and a short time later "I'm 23". With that, she buries her face in her hands. Needless to say later on I ask for her number and she looks distraught and says "you're gorgeous [first time I've ever been called that] but...", so I simply say "it's because I'm 23, thanks", and walk away.

So, my question to the ladies, and alternately to then men is "why do some women insist that their guy be older than them?" or "why do some men insist that their girl be younger than them?". I don't get it, I would have no problem going out with an older girl, and in fact would love to.

Suave

I'll offer my complete speculation on the subject. I think first of all that a lot of people find it easiest to deal in absolutes. Some of these women might want a man of a certain 'maturity' level, and instead of giving you a shot, will only date men their age or older as a sort of maturity barrier. It's very simple to say 'men my age or older will be mature enough for me, men younger will not' instead of having to make actual decisions and whatnot.

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"Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity opinions which differ from the prejudices of their social environment. Most people are even incapable of forming such opinions." - Albert Einstein

"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something." - Plato

eMOTIONal20

I've learned through my own and others' experiences that maturity level does not always increase with age. I used to think that my maturity level required me to be with someone who was older than me because that person would be more mature.

In all actuality, most of them men I've been with have been younger than me. Sometimes I really wonder if I'm just a bad judge of my own maturity level. However, that's the only answer I can come up with: women think the older a man is the more likely he is to be mature and emotionally/financially stable. I guess...

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"You must be the change you wish to see in the world." - Gandhi

doncalypso

That woman obviously has issues and isn't worth your time... If she'd dismiss you that easily simply because of your age (or lack thereof) then she's too flaky and superficial for you to consider keeping in a serious relationship.

You're better off not having gotten involved with her, son.

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Doncalypso... the one and only Haitian Sensation

Siege

I think age is irrelevant. Obviously, I have my limits, but i'll go either way. In fact, I have dated people older and younger than me. I know some girls that refuse to date younger guys. I wouldn't want to go out with any of them to be honest (not because of the age issue). I think doncalypso is right when he says that she probably is really not worth your time.

When you're in a club, the answer to that question is "as old as you want me to be baby!"

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"Your name's Geek? Do you know the origin of the term? A geek is someone who bites the heads off chickens at a circus. I would never let you suck my dick with a name like Geek"

--Kevin Smith

This part just makes my posts easier to find

Grasshopper Green

I'm older than my husband..it's only a year and a half, but when you are 18 and in college and he's 17 and in high school, it seems like a big difference. My step mother is about 6 years older than my dad...its not a big deal. Age shouldn't matter, especially only a couple of years.

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Formerly Medusa

Suave

Not everyone is a false cowardly jerkoff who lies to people for no reason. If you think that's how people in general are, then I feel bad for you. I doubt you know 'women' as well as you seem to purport either.

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"Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity opinions which differ from the prejudices of their social environment. Most people are even incapable of forming such opinions." - Albert Einstein

"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something." - Plato

5757

^^^
What a FREAKIN ASSHOLE. I HOPE YOU CHECK BACK IN AS A GUEST TO SEE THE RESPONSE TO YOUR ASSHOLE REMARKS.

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Wow, anyway. . . Suave, you've got it man. It's just easier. I'd rather not deal with a younger man. I do. But I'd prefer older men. As a matter of fact, I would like to date men who are atleast 30 + in years of age. (Im 23)

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SecretMethod70

Personally, I'd date someone older than me or younger than me. I've done both and have seen no reason that one is better than the other. Everyone is different, and making presumptions based on the simple fact someone is a couple years younger than you, especially when you know absolutely nothing else about them as was your case, is quite shallow. Like someone else said, you're better off for not having gotten involved with her anyway.

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Le temps détruit tout

"Musicians are the carriers and communicators of spirit in the most immediate sense." - Kurt Elling

rsl12

Don't sweat it. She sounds really superficial--you probably wouldn't like her if you got to know her better.

As to whys, people are superficial about lots of silly things--hair color, voice register, nose sizes, glasses, whether or not they make more/less money, etc. This is no different.

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oh baby oh baby, i like gravy.

joemc91

I just wanted to mention I only posted what happened to me as an example. I don't particularly care about what happened. I realize that it sounds like I just started with a rant with a poll, but I didn't mean for it to sound that way.

I was thinking about it later that night and talking with my roommate who is in fact a girl who will not date a guy younger than her. I think her bottom limit is actually 3 years older than her. The reason she has given is that she wants a guy who is experienced. I can't really argue with that since the odds of a guy who's 30 being more experienced than a guy who is 24 (her age) are pretty good. I just find the idea that one can shoot down a person's whole based on this one VERY limited facet of their life a bit short sighted.

I think my old college roommate did it the right way. Marrying a girl who is not only older, but makes more money than him.

tec-9-7

Honestly I tend to look more for women my age or slightly older (38), for the very simple reason that most younger women, especially those in their early 30s, are falling all over themselves to have kids, which ain't gonna happen w/ me...

maleficent

There's younger and there's YOUNGER.... and it's not really about maturity it is about years... 2 years doesnt make a difference at all...

I'm an agist to a degree. I've dated younger guys (heck older than me, they're all on second spouses or want the arm candy 20 years younger than them to make them feel better about themselves)

I prefer +/- five years of my age... that way you have similar life experiences and are better able to communicate... If the person is from a different generation... that makes it all the harder and they might want different things. If a 25 year old was interested in me... there'd be no doubt in my mind he was either stupid, blind, or just looking for sexual experience -- what's the expression about older women - don't tell, don't swell - and I can't remember the last one... I'm not interested in just being someone's experience.

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SecretMethod70

It's true that significant differences in age can pose a problem due to generational differences. Aside for that, I don't see any real valid argument. The idea that older men will be more experienced or more mature is still a false assumption. Many guys aren't experienced and no matter how old they get they won't be - experience doesn't come from numbers. If a guy is unwilling to consider the woman and what pleases her - and many guys are like this - he will never becomes "experienced" no matter how many partners he has had. And I'd posit that the older the guy is, if he's still "looking," the more likely there is a REASON that he's still looking.

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Le temps détruit tout

"Musicians are the carriers and communicators of spirit in the most immediate sense." - Kurt Elling

ratbastid

I've always dated women who were older than me. Hell, I married one. lurkette's got me by about a year and a half.

Coppertop

Maybe she wanted you to rent a car for her.

HoneyPot

So heres my theory on this one... I'm a total believer that age is just a number, but then again maturity, to me, is a huge part of people's compatibility. Being almost 22 (In two days!) I feel like I'm almost 30 because of the events that have happened in the past year. My mom passed away from cancer, so that makes a person grow up really fast. I have no other family close, so I'm pretty much on my own. My mom was 44 years old... Young. When I tell people, mostly guys, about her death they flip! Its because they can't handle it. So to make a huge, extra long story short... I always go for guys older... like five years older. Unless hes my age and knows what lifes about.

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Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder.

skier

haha.

I've only dated women older than I am. I don't know if it's coinidence, subconcious motivation, or just that the younger women I meet are mostly drama queens. I wouldn't have a problem dating someone younger than I, if she was emotionally mature.

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Xazy

Actually both my brothers married older Moroccan women (well one half Moroccan). Total coincidence. I never considered older / younger, it is all about whom you have a connection with. I personally married a lady younger then me, but that was just who the right one for me was.

joemc91

Haha! Or maybe 'tis the other way around for I am the one who is 23. Well played.

Hirare

Age shouldn't matter. It's about finding some who you are compatible with and who is looking for same thing out of the relationship. People of similar age will probably have similar relationship goals. Part of the problem she was having may be based off of old social stigma. Guys can have young trophie wives, but when older women date youger men it's looked down upon.

tec-9-7

I'm guessing that Demi Moore didn't get that memo...

majik_6

Honestly I tend to date people that are within 1.5 years of my age, but not because I have a steadfast rule. It just tends to work out that way.

I don't really have anything against a certain age, but I do find that at my age (21) most women significantly younger than I am tend to have a very different mindset (as do those much older than me). At this point, I find that those who are psychologically where I want to be are around my age (including my wonderful fiancee).

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it's all about self-indulgence

Uuudar

I'm a guy and am dating a girl two years older than me. Nothin' wrong with that.

Coppertop

Older women rock. My last girl was 10 years older than me. We were 28/38 when we split.

My current girl is the only girl that I've ever dated that is younger than me.

DEI37

My wife is older than me by three years. Doesn't bother me at all. I've had sex with women 30 years my senior. Doesn't bother me one little bit.

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Generally speaking, if you were to get what you really deserve, you might be unpleasantly surprised.

BigBen

Half your age plus Seven.

This rules work for both partners in the relationship. If the person you are interested in is less than half your age plus seven years, you need to look at how much you will have in common with that person.

Person 1 = 47 years old;
Person 2 should be: (47/2)= 23.5 + 7= 30.5 years old or older.

Person 1 = 18;
Person 2 = (18/2)= 9 + 7 = 16 or older.

It is a social 'litmus test' I use to see if there will be concerns.

I thought that everyone has heard of this rule. Is that not the case?

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fightnight

Seems like a decent rule to follow. Makes sure that the major cultural barriers won't affect the relationship as far as things you'd have in common from your childhood, etc. In my experience as far as maturity goes, within reason, age doesn't have much of an effect, it's more important to talk to the person to guage that kind of thing.