Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community  

Go Back   Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community > The Academy > Tilted Sexuality


 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 10-02-2005, 08:35 PM   #1 (permalink)
Non-Rookie
 
NoSoup's Avatar
 
Location: Green Bay, WI
UPDATED: Proposal Story

My five year anniversary is coming up rapidly with my girlfriend, and I'm going to propose. I have the ring already, but I'm going to need the TFP's help in attempting the perfect proposal. So - first up, a bit background just to hopefully help come up with some ideas...

About her: I cannot say enough good about her. She is very petite. 5'2 and maybe 105 pounds. Although she is small, she is quite the little bundle of energy. She is very energetic and constantly up for anything fun. She works full time and goes to school part time - for "Tourism and Hospitality Management" She is in her final year of school. We have been officially living together since April, when I bought a duplex, but she typically stayed over 5 or 6 nights a week at my apartment prior to that. She volunteers at the local animal shelter, which is ironic, because she is allergic to just about everything. Additonally, she is very liberal - which I am not - and she is also a vegetarian - also, which I am not. She and I have quite different tastes in music - she likes country and hip hop, as well as the typical popular music, I'm more into punk rock. I guess the cliche is true - opposites attact. She is incredibly cute - and I mean that in every sense of the word. She has a ridiculous amount of clothes - including NINE pink sweaters - and likes pretty much... everything... that is cute. Animals, clothes, cars, movies, ect. Hopefully that gives you a bit of insight.

As far as our relationship is concerned:

We started dating in high school, and although we love each other very much, didn't want to jump the gun with the marriage thing because we did, in fact, start dating so young. It's been five years - and I don't think that she has any idea that I'm considering this. I don't mean to imply that she doesn't want marriage - I just think that we have been together so long that it will seem unreal for me to finally propose.

Here are some rather noteable memories that we still joke about today that may come into play with the proposal. Prior to reading them, however, I'd like to let you know that neither of us are insane, lol, and these situations are most likely "you had to be there" moments. Nevertheless, here we go:

Within the first few minutes of meeting her the first time, I smashed a cake in her face. I know that sounds ridiculous, and it wasn't meant done with any menace - I simply was holding a cake and remarked how funny it would be to smash it somebody's face - and the girl that I had known all of 5 minutes volunteered. Silly her - she probably had icing in her ears for a week.

After we had initially met each other, we fell out of touch for a couple of years. We had mutual friends and spoke with each other whenever we happened to run into each other, but I think the big issue was her best friend had a crush on me at the time - at the time, there was a bit of mutual attraction between my current girlfriend and myself, but out of loyalty to her friend we never got together or explored anything past really being aquaintences.

Fast forward a couple of years - We re-met (if that's a word) at a highschool Halloween dance - she looked absolutely ridiculously funny - she went as the pillsbury doughboy. She had somehow managed to find clothes big enough to stuff probably a half a dozen pillows in her clothing and tape them into a roughly pillsbury doughboy shape. I was dressed as the "Scream" guy, and after we talked at the dance she, myself, and a bunch of our friends went out for dinner. Even then, It seemed as though it was just her and I.

Shortly after, we began dating. We went on a double date with my best friend at the time, and although I cannot imagine why it was brought up, weddings became the topic of choice. At the time, obviously, we weren't considering marriage or anything of the sort - we were probably just wondering if there would be another date - or I whether or not I'd get into her pants - but I digress. In essence, somehow the subject came up, and she and I got mock married in jest. My best friend would say something preachereske like "For richer or poorer, in health and sickness, ect" and she would repeat "for richer... and healthy" or something similar. Anyway, the point of the story is instead of exchanging rings in our mock marriage, we exchanged "wedding parcley" - I took a stalk of parcley and stuck it behind her ear. (Reading through that, that DEFINATELY qualifies as a "you had to have been there situation" - it was really quite innocent, and we weren't really serious for quite some time)

We began dating exclusively not long after that, and there are a few more incedents that stick out in my mind when I think about our past... However, I think those are the only two that directly relate to how we met or marriage. I'd post the other things, but I don't want to bore anyone to tears, and hopefully at least some will find the willpower after reading this far to finish the post.

Throughout our relationship, we've had far more ups than downs - and although I'm not really the mushy type, I'm certain that she is the girl I'd like to spend the rest of my life with. We are probably one of those couples that many people dislike, constantly touching each other and always together - we're real sickly sweet.

As far as the date of my proposal, I'm leaning towards the anniversary of our first date - which is October 29th. It seems we have a tradition of our anniversary to pretty much go to dinner and exchange gifts, and that's about it. I'd like to at least keep the facade up of this just being a "normal" anniversary until she has the ring on our hand, so we'll be going to a classier restaurant... and that's about all I have planned.

I'm open to suggestion - please feel free to throw some ideas out there for me. If you like, you can share your proposal stories as well - hopefully it will help me get it together and pull off a spectacular evening. The only pitfall that I know of so far, is she works ridiculously early the next day. I've considered a couple of things, including calling her work and explaining the situation to her boss - leaving her on the schedule so she doesn't suspect anything is up, but having someone ready to replace her on the following day, but am not sure if that will fly or not.

And since all the ladies ask me... no, I didn't pick out the ring. She picked it out quite some time ago, but has no idea that I have it. She was with a friend and they were apparently shopping - and of course, her... lovely friend suggested that they swing by a jewelry store and look at engagement rings. It turns out she fell in love with one in particular, and the next time I spoke to her she told me she put it on a wish list, and that I should go take a look. I told her that we still had to wait one year, two hundred some days (see note if you care) and that when we got closer to that date we'd go ring shopping. Of couse, without her knowledge, I went down the very next day and reserved the ring so I could pick both it up and the engagement band up. She has gone a couple of other times with her same friend just to get ideas of what she likes - each time she has gone, however, she remarks that she can never find any that was as good as the first ring that she had found. It was a designer piece, so there was a very limited amount made - and I had dibs on the only one in this area. It is that ring that I have hidden where she will never find it

(Explanation on the number of days till marriage thing... For as long as I've known her, she's been a nail biter. After we had been dating for a while, she asked me to help her stop biting them. Originally, whenever I'd catch her, I'd tickle her - but she still continued. The next attempt, much to the chagrin of anyone that was near us, was for me just to tell her to stop. Which... on the generous side, was about every 3 seconds. Finally, I told her that every time I caught her I would make her wait at least another year for the ring - in jest, of course. When we remained at a for about 6 months - I'd catch her daily, I told her that I was going to start adding 1 day to that year every time I caught her. Everytime I catch her, I just say "One year, X Days," or whatever - I'm sure it's not even anywhere in the realm of accurate - but just kinda wanted to explain why I'd give such a ridiculous response to her looking at a ring. I wanted it to be a surprise when I popped the question, and didn't want her to have any idea that it was on the horizon.)

Well, there you have it folks. It probably seems like we are nuts - and I'm not sure I can convince you otherwise - but we're young and in love and silly. What else can I say?

If you have any questions, please ask - I'd love to do whatever I can to ensure that she is very pleased with our anniversary, I'd like to make it as memorable as possible and add it to hopefully a long chain of happy memories.
__________________
I have an aura of reliability and good judgement.

Just in case you were wondering...
NoSoup is offline  
Old 10-02-2005, 10:06 PM   #2 (permalink)
Insane
 
Having just had my 5 year anniversary, i kinda get where you're coming from. The important thing is that you have a plan, and a couple of options, just in case. Speaking with her boss may be a good option, if you can trust that she won't find out early. Plan enough time for her to relax after work and get ready for the evening. Make her feel like the only woman in the world. Our anniversary was special because we went to the restaurant we used to go to a lot when we first started dating. He took me back out to the car while we were waiting for our table, put a special song on the radio, and handed me a box. Inside was a beautiful butterfly pendent in my favorite color. It doesn't have to be fancy to be meaningful. It just needs to be significant to the both of you.

Good luck.
__________________

17 seconds is all you really need
- Smashing Pumpkins
SparklingDot is offline  
Old 10-03-2005, 03:16 AM   #3 (permalink)
Submit to me, you know you want to
 
ShaniFaye's Avatar
 
Location: Lilburn, Ga
thats so sweet.....whatever you do, when you have the box and you open it for her, make sure its got parsley in it and not the ring!!! (have it within reach though) If I were here that would mean so much to me!!!

Good luck...when IS your anniversary?
__________________
I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!
ShaniFaye is offline  
Old 10-03-2005, 03:57 AM   #4 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Moderator Emeritus
Location: Chicago
If she has managed to stop biting her nails (I'd love the secret actually) send her for a manicure and when she comes back, tell her that she needs something to show off her new nails.. and give her the ring
__________________
Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.
maleficent is offline  
Old 10-03-2005, 05:25 AM   #5 (permalink)
You had me at hello
 
Poppinjay's Avatar
 
Location: DC/Coastal VA
Toss the ring at her during the commercial break of the football game, and say, "beer me."

That way, she'll know what she's in for.

Seriously, sounds nice. Kudos on getting the ring. I lived in the historic district of our town when I propsed on the balcony of my apartment - the second floor of a 240 year old mansion ($430 a month!). The balcony overlooking the bay made a really nice proposal spot.

Doing it in a way that makes it memorable is best, and sounds like what you're doing. My one flaw was doing it in a memorable place, but not on a memorable date, but she's only played that "what day is it?" card with me once.

As for her being a petite, vegetarian, pink sweater wearing liberal, and you being the opposite. Yes, opposites mostly attract. Consider the fact that she's a <i>woman</i> and you're a <i>man</i>.
__________________
I think the Apocalypse is happening all around us. We go on eating desserts and watching TV. I know I do. I wish we were more capable of sustained passion and sustained resistance. We should be screaming and what we do is gossip. -Lydia Millet
Poppinjay is offline  
Old 10-03-2005, 05:40 AM   #6 (permalink)
My future is coming on
 
lurkette's Avatar
 
Moderator Emeritus
Location: east of the sun and west of the moon
You could make a nice, romantic dinner and tie it to a sprig of parsley on her plate. Just be sure she doesn't eat it.
__________________
"If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing."

- Anatole France
lurkette is offline  
Old 10-03-2005, 05:54 AM   #7 (permalink)
Devoted
 
Redlemon's Avatar
 
Donor
Location: New England
Quote:
Originally Posted by ShaniFaye
thats so sweet.....whatever you do, when you have the box and you open it for her, make sure its got parsley in it and not the ring!!! (have it within reach though) If I were here that would mean so much to me!!!

Good luck...when IS your anniversary?
Seconded - there's no question that parsley has to factor into the proposal somewhere, and I think Shani nailed it.

Also, here's an old thread Your Proposal Stories if you want to read some good stories. The key, of course, is that the proposal should match your woman. All of your shared stories sound funny, so funny/romantic sounds like the way to go for you. Also, it doesn't sound like a big production would work well; it doesn't sound like she would want to be the center of attention at the restaurant.
__________________
I can't read your signature. Sorry.
Redlemon is offline  
Old 10-03-2005, 07:56 AM   #8 (permalink)
Non-Rookie
 
NoSoup's Avatar
 
Location: Green Bay, WI
Quote:
Originally Posted by ShaniFaye
thats so sweet.....whatever you do, when you have the box and you open it for her, make sure its got parsley in it and not the ring!!! (have it within reach though) If I were here that would mean so much to me!!!

Good luck...when IS your anniversary?
Our anniversary is the 29th of October - for you guys out there, I have a system for figuring out the date. So far, it has worked well for me, and I haven't been busted. I know our anniversary is near the very end of October, so sometime in late September/early October I'll casually ask her what day our anniversary lands on. Since she probably has it figured out till 2994 I just use the day to find the date.

Shani- That is a great idea. I was trying to think of a way to work the parsley into it, but that's just perfect

Quote:
Originally Posted by maleficent
If she has managed to stop biting her nails (I'd love the secret actually) send her for a manicure and when she comes back, tell her that she needs something to show off her new nails.. and give her the ring
Well, in some sick sense of the word I think she is trying to comprimise. She has managed to stop biting her second, third, and fourth fingers - all the "important" ones, so she says - so instead of all of them being chewed on a bit, her thumb and pinky finger are devastated. She chews those down to flesh - I wouldn't be surprised if they have actually bled because they are so short. Hopefully, though, I can work this in at some point, I'm sure she's going to tease me for the rest of forever about how I didn't adhere to the "rules" and got her the ring early.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Poppinjay
Toss the ring at her during the commercial break of the football game, and say, "beer me."
Poppinjay, you're going to split my side open, my friend....

Quote:
Originally Posted by lurkette
You could make a nice, romantic dinner and tie it to a sprig of parsley on her plate. Just be sure she doesn't eat it.
There are two problems with this...

First off, I don't think Jello is considered a "nice, romantic dinner" - and that's all I'm qualified to make. Oh, and a bowl of Cheerios.

Secondly - I could attempt to learn - however, I don't want her to know that anything is different, and she pointed out that apparently it's tradition to go out to eat on our anniversary, so I think that is what we'll do.

Don't give up though lurkette - I know that you are ridiculously creative, and I don't think I'm gonna let you off the hook yet

Quote:
Originally Posted by Redlemon
Also, here's an old thread Your Proposal Stories if you want to read some good stories. The key, of course, is that the proposal should match your woman. All of your shared stories sound funny, so funny/romantic sounds like the way to go for you. Also, it doesn't sound like a big production would work well; it doesn't sound like she would want to be the center of attention at the restaurant.
Ah, there's that thread. I vaguely remembered reading them, but couldn't find it via the search function for the life of me.

As far as a big production goes, I don't think she would have any qualms about it at all, so if anyone has any ideas that involve a big production - bring them on. I would, however, like to keep it relatively low-key, at least until she has the ring, just so she doesn't suspect anything is up.

Additionally, I'm not sure how ladies typically feel after being proposed to... so, knowing what you know of her - does anyone have any insight as to what she would prefer as a woman? I'm thinking after the proposal, I could arrange to have her family/friends somewhere we can go afterword so she can show off her ring and gloat and all that jazz, or do you think it would be preferable to have the rest of our evening to ourselves? What really throws a wrench in the plan is the fact that I don't know if I'm going to be able to get her off of work or not, so if we were to meet up with people after, it may possibly be a very early night, as she might have to get up at 3:30 next morning.

I have a couple of other questions, as well. These don't directly regard my Girlfriend and I, but - I could use the help just the same.

Traditionally, I believe I am supposed to ask her father for her hand in marriage before proposing to her. That's cool, but I have no idea when. Should I ask him shortly? Or is it better to wait till just a few days before I actually propose? I'm a touch worried that if her mother finds out - and I'm sure she will - she might let the cat out of the bag a bit earlier than I intend. I'd rather not wait til the last minute if it is customary to ask way in advance, though...

Secondly - as for the ring size. I picked it up as a size 7, and I know her finger is much smaller than that. Up until the day before I got the ring, I was 99% sure that she was a size six, because she had made several passing comments over the years. However, the day before I went to pick it up, she made a comment about how she was actually a size 5.75. I explained this to the jeweler, and he said that it would probably just be best to give it to her and then have her come in and get measured and drop the ring off for a few days. I'm pretty certain the several days it will take to get sized will kill her because she won't be able to wear it. So - especially you ladies out there - should I bring it in and get it sized for 6? That way, at least, it should stay on her finger until it gets resized. Or should I just give it to her as is and have her size it properly the first time? I am not sure if resizing a ring causes it damage if it has been done multiple times - the jeweler told me it didn't, but the guy was an idiot, so I'm not so sure I'd take his word for law. The cost of getting it resized is only like $50 or something, so it wouldn't really bother me if I had to do it a couple of times....

Thanks for the help everyone - keep it coming
__________________
I have an aura of reliability and good judgement.

Just in case you were wondering...

Last edited by NoSoup; 10-03-2005 at 08:02 AM..
NoSoup is offline  
Old 10-03-2005, 08:03 AM   #9 (permalink)
Submit to me, you know you want to
 
ShaniFaye's Avatar
 
Location: Lilburn, Ga
ACK!!! your anniversary is the day we are getting married wooohhoooo It would be so cool to be leaving for our honeymoon knowing "somewhere" there is a woman getting proposed to with parsley ahahahaha

I would give it to her as is.....I wear a 6.5 generaly but I have run into a few rings in my past that I needed at 6.75 OR a 6.25 (for example my wedding ring is a 6.25 but my engagement ring is a 6.5) I wouldnt waste the money on resizing until you know for sure she needs it.

oh this has just got me bouncing with joy!!!!


(have I mentioned that Dave took my e-ring away from me last week....sometime between now and Oct 29th I will get the "proposal" I never got )
__________________
I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

Last edited by ShaniFaye; 10-03-2005 at 08:06 AM..
ShaniFaye is offline  
Old 10-03-2005, 08:13 AM   #10 (permalink)
Non-Rookie
 
NoSoup's Avatar
 
Location: Green Bay, WI
Lol Shani - congrats, I'm very excited for you as well. Where did you end up deciding to go for your honeymoon?

Quote:
(have I mentioned that Dave took my e-ring away from me last week....sometime between now and Oct 29th I will get the "proposal" I never got )
What, the throwing the ring at you at the commercial break and beering him?

Alright, I'll probably hold off on getting the engagement ring/wedding band sized then, and just wait for her to do it so that it's done properly the first time. I just hope she isn't too dissappointed if we have to duct tape it to her finger to get it to stay on for the first day or two...
__________________
I have an aura of reliability and good judgement.

Just in case you were wondering...
NoSoup is offline  
Old 10-03-2005, 08:19 AM   #11 (permalink)
Submit to me, you know you want to
 
ShaniFaye's Avatar
 
Location: Lilburn, Ga
if you got a 6 and she wears a 5.75 its not going to fall off hehehe I can wear a 7 on my finger and it come no where near falling off...it just twirls around my finger lol

It seems some comments I coughcough*might*coughcough have made last week when some friends of our got engaged made him remember that I really cant tell EVERYONE how we got engaged cause we were having sex when it happened...so now he has something cooked up. (If you want my guess he's going to do it at the Highland Games weekend after next...OR on our anniversary on the 18th)....ahahaha he doesnt drink beer so I dont have to worry about THAT kind of proposal.

Oh and we are going to a place we go to quite often in the NC mountains, its quite secluded and we get to stay in a mini castle so it goes with the wedding theme really well.

I cant WAIT to hear how your proposal goes....I may have to make sure somebody has my cell number so they can call me and read me your post while Im in the mountains
__________________
I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!
ShaniFaye is offline  
Old 10-03-2005, 08:22 AM   #12 (permalink)
Kick Ass Kunoichi
 
snowy's Avatar
 
Location: Oregon
You must definitely involve parsley somehow...perhaps get a flower box (like the kind you would get long-stemmed roses in), put the engagement ring at the bottom of the box, and fill it with parsley. Arrange for the maitre'd to somehow deliver this during that lull after dinner but before dessert (if you're worried about the safety of the ring, keep it on you, excuse yourself to go to the restroom, and use the chance to put it in the box then). Give your fiance the box of parsley and tell her, "I'd like to do it for real this time." Let her find the ring beneath the parsley, and then propose.

Don't forget to also arrange for champagne to be brought to your table immediately following the successful proposal.
__________________
If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau
snowy is offline  
Old 10-03-2005, 09:09 AM   #13 (permalink)
Tilted
 
Daknjak's Avatar
 
Location: Green Bay, Wisconsin
Quote:
Originally Posted by nosoup
Our anniversary is the 29th of October - for you guys out there, I have a system for figuring out the date. So far, it has worked well for me, and I haven't been busted. I know our anniversary is near the very end of October, so sometime in late September/early October I'll casually ask her what day our anniversary lands on. Since she probably has it figured out till 2994 I just use the day to find the date.
Actually, your system is me seeing as I know when your anniversary is, and you don't. I have reminded you at least 3 times already.
__________________
On a Mens room ceiling: "Why are you looking up here? The joke is in your hand."

"He who laughs last thinks slowest."
Daknjak is offline  
Old 10-03-2005, 09:29 AM   #14 (permalink)
Devoted
 
Redlemon's Avatar
 
Donor
Location: New England
A quick question for the chefs in this thread; how long does fresh-cut parsley last before it turns brown or wilts? We don't want NoSoup to present the lovely Soupette with something limp, it wouldn't reflect well on their future together.
__________________
I can't read your signature. Sorry.
Redlemon is offline  
Old 10-03-2005, 09:58 AM   #15 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Location: Chicago
I really like the parsely idea, too. I was also thinking throwing cake in there somehow. There should be a way of contacting the restaurant and explaining the situation to them so they'll help you out. Make sure there is a lot of parsley on her plate. That will hopefully get the idea in her head but still make her wonder what is going on. Then, find a way to hide the ring in a piece of cake. When she takes a bite with the ring in it, she'll spit the ring out and at that moment it will hit her what's going on.

If the cake idea is not workable, then it definitely has to involve parsley.

Best of luck to you. Your first post was a great read. I'm not a sappy person by any stretch of the imagination but the story of you two would make anyone smile.
__________________
"I can normally tell how intelligent a man is by how stupid he thinks I am" - Cormac McCarthy, All The Pretty Horses
JumpinJesus is offline  
Old 10-03-2005, 10:07 AM   #16 (permalink)
Non-Rookie
 
NoSoup's Avatar
 
Location: Green Bay, WI
Quote:
Originally Posted by Daknjak
Actually, your system is me seeing as I know when your anniversary is, and you don't. I have reminded you at least 3 times already.
That may be true, my friend, but how do you think you know what date to remind me of?
__________________
I have an aura of reliability and good judgement.

Just in case you were wondering...
NoSoup is offline  
Old 10-03-2005, 10:11 AM   #17 (permalink)
Non-Rookie
 
NoSoup's Avatar
 
Location: Green Bay, WI
Quote:
Originally Posted by JumpinJesus
I really like the parsely idea, too. I was also thinking throwing cake in there somehow. There should be a way of contacting the restaurant and explaining the situation to them so they'll help you out. Make sure there is a lot of parsley on her plate. That will hopefully get the idea in her head but still make her wonder what is going on. Then, find a way to hide the ring in a piece of cake. When she takes a bite with the ring in it, she'll spit the ring out and at that moment it will hit her what's going on.

If the cake idea is not workable, then it definitely has to involve parsley.

Best of luck to you. Your first post was a great read. I'm not a sappy person by any stretch of the imagination but the story of you two would make anyone smile.
Well, although that seems somewhat feasible, my only thought is that when she takes a bite of the cake - with the ring into it - she very well be unexpectedly biting into one of the hardest materials known to man.

**Fast forward 10 Days**

Her: "Honey, remember how sweet it was when you proposed to me?"
Her: *Smiles with a big toothless grin*

Either that, or she finishes the cake.... I can't imagine that would be a good thing either.

Me: "Um - honey? I had a present hidden for you in that cake... maybe we should head on over to the hospital - don't worry, the X-ray will make everything clear..."
__________________
I have an aura of reliability and good judgement.

Just in case you were wondering...
NoSoup is offline  
Old 10-03-2005, 10:43 AM   #18 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Location: Chicago
Quote:
Originally Posted by NoSoup
Well, although that seems somewhat feasible, my only thought is that when she takes a bite of the cake - with the ring into it - she very well be unexpectedly biting into one of the hardest materials known to man.

**Fast forward 10 Days**

Her: "Honey, remember how sweet it was when you proposed to me?"
Her: *Smiles with a big toothless grin*

Either that, or she finishes the cake.... I can't imagine that would be a good thing either.

Me: "Um - honey? I had a present hidden for you in that cake... maybe we should head on over to the hospital - don't worry, the X-ray will make everything clear..."

heh. I thought about that after I posted. It makes for a great idea but in practice, maybe not so great.
__________________
"I can normally tell how intelligent a man is by how stupid he thinks I am" - Cormac McCarthy, All The Pretty Horses
JumpinJesus is offline  
Old 10-03-2005, 10:57 AM   #19 (permalink)
Tilt me.
 
zkara's Avatar
 
Location: Midflight
I would say, get her to throw the cake in your face and then propose to her with a bunch of parsley in your hands instead of flowers..

Nice restaurant, your face covered in cake, on one knee, parsley in your hands.. mmm romantic!! Ohh ohh..and the cake is in the shape of the Doughboy..
zkara is offline  
Old 10-03-2005, 11:39 AM   #20 (permalink)
Getting it.
 
Charlatan's Avatar
 
Super Moderator
Location: Lion City
I've never thought putting a ring in food was a good idea... If you ask me, I would also avoid giving her the ring in the restaurant altogether. It is a public place and it will end up stifling any emotional response (this is a good thing, however, if she is going to say no...).

I would take her out for a nice dinner. Something different from the norm (unless you get dressed up to go out for dinner often). Wear nice clothes, etc. If the weather is going to be nice, take her for a walk after dinner. Choose to eat near somewhere where you can actually take her for a nice walk.

I would propose while on the walk.

If the walk is out of the question, then wait until you get her home. If you can get a friend to help you... have them set up your place while you are out. Lots of candles, some nice music cued up, a bottle Champagne chilling on ice, etc.

Maybe you have a nice dessert cooling in the fridge or warming in the oven...

Make sure the house is clean and there are fresh sheets on the bed... this will be important later.



Trust me on this. It will work and it will work well.
__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke
Charlatan is offline  
Old 10-03-2005, 11:49 AM   #21 (permalink)
Non-Rookie
 
NoSoup's Avatar
 
Location: Green Bay, WI
As far as the walk is concerned, I don't think it will be possible, although so far this year I can't say for sure. I live in Wisconsin, and although the temperature is usually -39598 degrees at this point in the year, it is still around 80 today. However, I would expect by then it will be ridiculously cold, and a walk probably won't be the best option.

I agree with you on the ring in the food thing as well - I think it would be fine if it all worked out, but knowing my luck my bride to be would end up choking to death before I got an answer out of her.

Ideally, we'll be able to stay at a hotel that night - for her birthday last year I rented some ridiculous suite with a hottub/whirlpool in it, and it was quite fun. However, that will probably depend on what I can arrange for her work - if I can't get her off, then it'll probably be a no go.

I'd be interested in seeing how most people feel about where they are proposed to - whether it would be better in public or private. Maybe I can persuade one of the TFP's lovely ladies to put a poll up in the ladies lounge.

Thanks for the ideas folks - and keep them coming
__________________
I have an aura of reliability and good judgement.

Just in case you were wondering...
NoSoup is offline  
Old 10-03-2005, 11:51 AM   #22 (permalink)
Getting it.
 
Charlatan's Avatar
 
Super Moderator
Location: Lion City
I'd have to agree with you... "if I can't get her off, then it'll probably be a no go." Then it is definately a no go...
__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke
Charlatan is offline  
Old 10-03-2005, 11:51 AM   #23 (permalink)
You had me at hello
 
Poppinjay's Avatar
 
Location: DC/Coastal VA
Agree with Charlatan... Propose in private or semi-private.

I don't know about asking the father for her hand. We were 32, so it seemed kind of well.... odd considering his daughter had been on her own, moved to Cleveland, Philly, and the coast on her own etc.

I really like the idea of proposing while on a walk. Prefereably near water, in black and white, though I understand that technology is hard to pull off in real life.
__________________
I think the Apocalypse is happening all around us. We go on eating desserts and watching TV. I know I do. I wish we were more capable of sustained passion and sustained resistance. We should be screaming and what we do is gossip. -Lydia Millet
Poppinjay is offline  
Old 10-03-2005, 11:53 AM   #24 (permalink)
You had me at hello
 
Poppinjay's Avatar
 
Location: DC/Coastal VA
Quote:
Originally Posted by Charlatan
I'd have to agree with you... "if I can't get her off, then it'll probably be a no go." Then it is definately a no go...

Damn! I was too late for the perfect straight line!
__________________
I think the Apocalypse is happening all around us. We go on eating desserts and watching TV. I know I do. I wish we were more capable of sustained passion and sustained resistance. We should be screaming and what we do is gossip. -Lydia Millet
Poppinjay is offline  
Old 10-03-2005, 12:01 PM   #25 (permalink)
Non-Rookie
 
NoSoup's Avatar
 
Location: Green Bay, WI
Quote:
Originally Posted by Charlatan
I'd have to agree with you... "if I can't get her off, then it'll probably be a no go." Then it is definately a no go...
Lol, I suppose I walked right into that one.

Open mouth, insert foot here....
__________________
I have an aura of reliability and good judgement.

Just in case you were wondering...
NoSoup is offline  
Old 10-03-2005, 12:01 PM   #26 (permalink)
Getting it.
 
Charlatan's Avatar
 
Super Moderator
Location: Lion City
This changes things (I missed the birthday part). If you are already planning on a hotel room this makes it even easier...

In my mind there is no question that you should enlist the assistance of a friend (and barring that, pay the consierge to do it) to light the candles, draw a hot bath, have some champagne on ice and some sort of dessert ready. In this case, strawberries and chocolate would be good... they go amazingly well with champagne (don't cheap out on the chamagne get at least a bottle of Veuve) and you can feed them to each other...

When you get back to the room, just say you wanted to make everything nice for her... say you paid the consierge to set it up (even if you didn't).

At this point you can either ask her now and enjoy the rest of the stuff while you bask in the fact you are going to be married

OR

Draw it out a bit further. Keep it in the vein of the birthday. Blow her mind that you would do all this for her on her birthday. After the bath and the champagne and the strawberries, etc. she is relaxing like the queen she is... it is now that you should propose. Any suspicion that you are going to ask her to marry you will have been banished by now. She will have expected you to do it either at the restaurant or right away. Just when she let's her guard down.... BAM you ask her.

She will be blown away.
__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke
Charlatan is offline  
Old 10-03-2005, 12:21 PM   #27 (permalink)
Submit to me, you know you want to
 
ShaniFaye's Avatar
 
Location: Lilburn, Ga
my 2 cents.....I'd LOVE a public proposal....everybody gets so sappy (and I dont think he'd be asking OR have bought the ring if she were gonna say no)
__________________
I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!
ShaniFaye is offline  
Old 10-03-2005, 12:36 PM   #28 (permalink)
Getting it.
 
Charlatan's Avatar
 
Super Moderator
Location: Lion City
I'm just the opposite... I think asking someone to marry you should be a much more intimate thing... I wouldn't want anyone else involved.

Of course, I asked my wife to marry me on the top of a cliff about 60 miles from the nearest other person... the only witness was the beaver swimming in the lake several feet below us...
__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke
Charlatan is offline  
Old 10-03-2005, 12:37 PM   #29 (permalink)
Non-Rookie
 
NoSoup's Avatar
 
Location: Green Bay, WI
Quote:
Originally Posted by Charlatan
I'm just the opposite... I think asking someone to marry you should be a much more intimate thing... I wouldn't want anyone else involved.

Of course, I asked my wife to marry me on the top of a cliff about 60 miles from the nearest other person... the only witness was the beaver swimming in the lake several feet below us...
The beaver probably went and told all it's friends, though
__________________
I have an aura of reliability and good judgement.

Just in case you were wondering...
NoSoup is offline  
Old 10-03-2005, 12:57 PM   #30 (permalink)
Getting it.
 
Charlatan's Avatar
 
Super Moderator
Location: Lion City
Naw... I had him trapped and made into a beaver muff... Now when it's cold my wife can keep her hands warm and remember the day I asked her to marry her...
__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke
Charlatan is offline  
Old 10-03-2005, 01:05 PM   #31 (permalink)
Submit to me, you know you want to
 
ShaniFaye's Avatar
 
Location: Lilburn, Ga
/totally off topic but I cant resist

heh heh heh Charlatan said beaver muff

/ok somebody can smack me now
__________________
I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!
ShaniFaye is offline  
Old 10-03-2005, 01:10 PM   #32 (permalink)
Getting it.
 
Charlatan's Avatar
 
Super Moderator
Location: Lion City
Interestingly she really does have a shaved beaver muff... She inherited it from her Grandmother...

Every winter when she brings it out... it just cracks me up.
__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke
Charlatan is offline  
Old 10-06-2005, 09:52 AM   #33 (permalink)
People in masks cannot be trusted
 
Xazy's Avatar
 
Location: NYC
Hmm I like the more comical or unique ideas. Like having a police man, attempt to arrest you, and find the 'ring' in your pocket. Or the idea I had I got engaged after was, to take pictures of the ring as a tourist. like the ring at empire state building, chrysler building, etc.. The ring with all your different friends. And then have her develop the pictures. And the last picture is the ring with a sign next to it saying 'will you marry me.'

I have other crazy, unique ideas, but I would rather go unique then classic, romantic.
Xazy is offline  
Old 10-30-2005, 04:59 AM   #34 (permalink)
Non-Rookie
 
NoSoup's Avatar
 
Location: Green Bay, WI
Update: Proposal Story

So, yesterday was our anniversary, and I ended up proposing. Not only that, but she said yes

Alright, overall it was pretty difficult to set anything up because as it turns out, not only could I not get her off of work, her parents went on vacation - so she had to stay at their house and watch the dog. As a result, all my plans for a weekend getaway to Mexico or something, or even something more simple - like a hotel room, were thrown out the window. I wanted to do my best to make it memorable, though, and so here is how it went...

First off, before we get into the actual proposal, I asked her father for permission to marry her. That actually turned into quite an event...

I knew early last week that her parents were leaving for vacation on Sunday - but found out on Wednesday they were actually leaving early - on Friday morning. I hadn't brought up going out to dinner yet, as I wanted to wait for the last second to make sure that my gir... Fiance () didn't find out via mother. So, when I discovered that they were leaving early, I called them and asked if we could meet out the next night (Thursday) for dinner. Her mother basically started to tell me that they were really busy with packing and what not, so I had to level with her and let her know why I wanted to meet them. Unfortunately, she told her husband why I wanted to meet them out, so it wasn't to much of a surprise. The dinner went fairly well - both of them seemed quite touched by me asking permission, but nearly ended in disaster, although I didn't know it yet. While at the resteraunt, we ran into the mother of a mutual aquintaince of my fiance (man, that's weird) and myself. We talk to her son probably once a year or so, and it just so happens that yesterday he called her. Fortunately, his mother apparently didn't mention to him that I was out with my fiance's parents - had my fiance found out about it, she would have quickly guessed why.

Anyway, moving on....

While my girlfriend was at work yesterday, I had a dozen roses delivered to her. I believe she thought that was her present, and immediately called me and gushed about how pretty they are. Then, she threw a wrench into my plan, by saying that the earliest we could meet up was around 6:00 pm. Unfortunately, I already had the limo scheduled to show up at my house at 4:00. I said that it would be fine, and that I'd just pick her up from her parents house around 6:00.

After I hung up with her, I called the limo company and tried to reschedule. Not surprisingly, they were booked up the rest of the night. I tried every company listed in the phone book, but all of them were booked. I called back the original people that I had scheduled it with, and said the magic words - "I'll pay double" - which piqued their interest. (On a side note, I feel a little bad for that, as they ended up telling the people who were supposed to get the limo that it broke down... I think they ended up getting a bus instead) Anyway, they said that I could have it from 5:30 - 7:00. It wasn't as long as I had hoped, but I figured I probably wouldn't be able to convince them to piss off any more of their customers, and it was better than nothing, so I agreed.

I then went and bought some parcley - I wanted it to be fresh, and then went to a florist and picked up another five dozen roses (I figured five would be good, as it was our 5th year anniversary) I got home, showered, changed, and then the limo arrived, so I hoped in and explained to the driver that I wanted him to pull past her house and drop me off a little bit down the street, so she hopefully wouldn't see the limo until after I had proposed. We finally got there, and he hit me with the bill - $600.00 for the limo, and they had conveniently added an additional 25% tip for gratuity, and taxes. I'm not trying to complain, but around $792.00 for an hour and a half limo ride seems a bit excessive - even paying double. I told him to pull into her driveway in about 20 minutes, and we should be out shortly after that. Anyway, he dropped me off waaaaay down the street, probably around 1/2 mile or so. I was getting pretty strange looks walking down the street armed with 5 dozen roses, a ringbox, and a sprig of parcley.

When I got to her house, I let myself in through the garage. Unsurprisingly, she wasn't ready yet, so I hung out downstairs while finished getting ready. She took so long that the limo actually came and parked in the driveway before she came downstairs. It's difficult to describe how her house is set up, but although the front door is directly in front of the staircase, there is only a small window in the door - you'd actually have to look out it, and not just glance at it, to notice the limo parked in her driveway. To prevent that, as she walked down the stairs, I called out to her and told her that I lied to her about her present (Oddly enough, she had said that she wanted a dustbuster - which I had told her I got for her). I was kinda standing near the corner of the hallway with all 5 dozen roses in my hands behind my back around the corner. Fortunately, she didn't take too close of a look out the window, and started walking down the hall towards me. When she got closer, I whipped out the roses and gave them to her. She just about melted. I helped her get some vases from the cupboards, and just as she was putting them in, I told her that I had another present for her. She turned around, and I held out my sprig of parcley. She giggled a bit, and then I stuck it behind her ear, same as we did all those years ago. She gave me a hug and a kiss, and then I told her that I had one MORE present for her. At that point, I dropped down to one knee and gave a little speech and asked her to marry me. As soon as I dropped down onto my knee holding the ring, she first looked shocked, then immediately started crying - one of the very few times in our relationship when I didn't mind seeing her cry. She said yes, there was more kissing and hugging and lots more crying on her part. When I put the ring on her finger, I inadvertanly put it on her right hand - for you folks out there that are planning on proposing some day, your left isn't her left Funnily enough, the whole time all this was going on, her dog had decided that my pant leg was a new toy and wanted to play tug of war with it. Anyway, I suggested that we head out to dinner, and she started to walk towards the front door... where I was standing, waiting to open it for her and reveal the 16 passenger stretch deluxe limo or whatever the hell it was to her. Then she remembered she didn't have shoes on... and went into the garage (which has a clear view of the driveway) to get them... and saw the limo. More tears, more kissing, more make-up fixing, and we our on our way to dinner.

We ate out at the same restauraunt we have eaten at every anniversary, and came back to our house to spend the night together. Unfortunately, her car was still at her parents house, and she had to be to work by 5:30. So, I had to be up at 2:30am (which wasn't all that fun, as we didn't get to sleep until around 1:00 or 1:30) and drive her back out there to take care of the dog/grab her car. Additionally, that explains why I am up this early typing this out.

Thanks for all the ideas everyone, it was quite a pleasure to hear her say that it was the best day of her life. I figured I'd just share the story so anyone that was following would have a conclusion to our tale.

Cheers!
__________________
I have an aura of reliability and good judgement.

Just in case you were wondering...
NoSoup is offline  
Old 10-30-2005, 05:30 AM   #35 (permalink)
Psycho
 
I'm happy to be the first on the TFP to say congratulations.
It sounds like it went perfectly, I'm sure you'll both remember it for the rest of your lives.
TheBrit is offline  
Old 10-30-2005, 08:43 AM   #36 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Location: Chicago
Hey nosoup..

Congratulations, man! Plans never go the way we want them, but now you've got a great story to tell about your engagement for the rest of your life.
__________________
"I can normally tell how intelligent a man is by how stupid he thinks I am" - Cormac McCarthy, All The Pretty Horses
JumpinJesus is offline  
Old 10-30-2005, 09:57 AM   #37 (permalink)
Unbelievable
 
cj2112's Avatar
 
Location: Grants Pass OR
Congrats! Awesome story, one you can proudly tell your children someday.
cj2112 is offline  
Old 10-30-2005, 10:03 AM   #38 (permalink)
Illusionary
 
tecoyah's Avatar
 
Rock on man......You are both lucky to have each other....for true
__________________
Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. - Buddha
tecoyah is offline  
Old 10-30-2005, 10:44 AM   #39 (permalink)
Fade out
 
Location: in love
That is WONDERFUL!! so happy to hear the great news!

and CONGRATULATIONS!!!!

sweetpea
__________________
Having a Pet Will Change Your Life!
Looking for a great pet?! Click Here!
"I am the Type of Person Who Can Get Away With A lot, Simply Because I Don't Ask Permission for the Privilege of Being Myself"
Sweetpea is offline  
Old 10-30-2005, 12:02 PM   #40 (permalink)
Upright
 
That was the most cutest thing I have ever read... pathetically enough I got tears in my eyes... CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!
Beautiful is offline  
 

Tags
proposal, story, updated


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 01:09 AM.

Tilted Forum Project

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
© 2002-2012 Tilted Forum Project

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360