Meier_Link

I have a friend (I'll use the term loosely), who I hang out with on a regular basis. My ex-girlfriend, who he used to date, insists that he "wants my ass."

He does nice things, sometimes buys me drinks or recreational pharmacuticals, however he's often an asshole.

I was at the bar tonight, pushing 2 o'clock, and these 2 girls I have seen before walked back to the dart boards. As part of my recent initiative to be more outgoing, I greeted both of them and asked if they wanted to play a game. Neither were particularly attractive, nor were they irredeemibly ugly. He kept walking by with comments such as, "you're wasting your time" and "2 swamp ducks", well within earshot of them.

One of the girls commented to me that my friends weren't very nice, and the other asked him what his problem was.

I might have attempted to make a move on one of them, but my mood was pretty much killed by the tension created by his belligerence. What I wonder is, what was his fuckin problem? I confronted him about this, to which he reply that he was trying to save me from some ugly bitches. I told him in the future, if he wanted to give me a hard time about that, at least wait until the next day. I'm left to wonder if I have a closet homosexual friend who will continue to cockblock me if I put forth the effort.

analog

Well, you wouln'd be the first guy in history to have a male friend suddenly appear to be gay and try to hit on him. He may just have been bisexual for a while, and now wants to explore men.

I don't know what to say to help guide you through this, except that if he's going to act like that, he's not much of a friend (disregarding the whole "is he hitting on me" thing). Just ask him flat-out why it seems like he's being an ass to you. Let him explain himself. Tell him you appreciate the stuff he buys you, but it doesn't make up for his behavior. It might be a hard conversation to have, but you're pretty much at a wall at this point. It either continues, or you bite the bullet and have a talk about it.

calvin88

I would maybe go out to a bar/club again and see if he does it again. Maybe he was just having a bad day or was in a bad mood. Perhaps you hit on girls that he had wanted to hit on? Anyways if he does it again, then I would definitly have a serious talk with him.

MooseMan3000

It sounds to me like he was probably wondering about his sexuality himself. While I support the fact that he's willing to experiment, I think the way he went about it is vile. Next time he does that, tell him to fuck off. He was being an ass hole. Since he's not really your friend, you don't have anything to lose.

If he likes you, he should say so, not try to sabotage your relationships.

Average_Joe

It might be that he's just jealous. He might want your attention in a non-sexual way, and he's afraid that if you hook up, you won't be spending male-bonding time with him. Your friend may not be ready or willing to date right now, and he wants you to have the same availability.

pig

Quick question (in addition to previous poster's points...ie. he's being an ass, etc)
Does your ex have any decent reason to believe that he's hot for you, or is it just based on her observations? I will say that people do tend to do certain things when they flirt, and maybe she's picking up on these. At the same time, it's a fine line between decent conversation and flirtation...

It's tough to say whether or not he's having a sexual identity issue, and I'd suggest you not get into that. Just confront him on his behavior if it's bothering you. I've known some guys/girls who just had that "dickhead/bitch" thing going for them - is he generally an arrogant person?

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Mr Honest

He may be gay or he may be just a nasty idiot. Advise him that you won't hang out with anyone that says such rude things to another person without an incredibly good reason.
I suspect he won't change his way, some people take longer than others to just grow up and stop being pathetic.

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Lasereth

It doesn't matter if he's jealous. It doesn't matter if he's homesexual. It doesn't matter if he wants a piece of your bod. All that matters is he was a plain and simple asshole that night to those two girls, end of story. I'd tell him to stop being a prick, then worry about his sexual feelings.

-Lasereth

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apolian

How obnoxious. I'd be soooo embarrassed to have a friend like that.
I would've ended the friendship immediately... and he'd be lucky if I didn't belt him one on the way out...

Jinn

Swamp ducks? haha .. that should be the wtf?!.. never heard that before.

And yea.. tons of reasons..

*He's really gay
*He wanted the girls
*He thought you were drunk and wanted to save you
*He thinks playing the asshole card gets him... ass
*He's socially inept and doesn't know WHAT to say
*His dad was an asshole to his wife so he's modelling that

None of these really matter, as above. Whether you know the reason or not, its a dick thing to do.. if he does it again, let him know.

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Anxst

I agree totally here. Your friend is just being an asshole, plain and simple. Motives, whatever they might be, are no reason for this. Tell him to stop being such a fucktard, and figure the rest out later.

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Charlatan

Just sleep with him... he'll lose all interest by morning.

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texxasco

I agree...let the incident with him and the swamp ducks be his freebie. If it happens again, pull him aside and tell him to cut the shit out.

As far as the "closet homosexual" thing... If you're ok with his acting that way with you then do nothing. If you're no ok with it (and it doesn't sound like you are) then let him know you aren't ok with it. You don't have to be an ass about it, but at the same time you want to get his attention. Make it crystal clear to him that those kind of comments, advances, etc aren't welcome and won't be tolerated.

After that I would set back and see what happens.... maybe he'll get the point.

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