I last too long...help!!!!
 

Now I know there are alot of people out there who can't go more then a minute....but I can't seem to go less then an hour. SOme might ask why this is a problem...and essentially it is because my GF gets too sore...so then she goes felatio,....and then her jaw gets too sore....and then she goes for a hand job....and then her wrists get too sore. I seriously have an issue here. I CAN"T FREAKING CUM!!!! and she's feeling like its her fault....and it really isn't her fault at all.

Any recopmends on improving my sensitivity?

Sounds odd at times, but try extending the foreplay times. I had a friend who asked me the same about her boyfriend at the time and we did some research. That's what Violet Blue suggested in the book I read. By extending the time spent on foreplay and delaying actual intercourse, the male often is able to increase the excitement and decrease the amount of time/direct stimulation needed to cum. She suggested massage, sensual touching, etc. without as much direct stimulation to the penis so that when direct stimulation does occur in earnest, the sensitivity is heightened. Plus the emotional bond is heightened and allows the partners to decrease their inhibitions which can soemtimes cause difficulty reaching orgasm. Or something along those lines. I looked for it on line and couldn't find the direct quote. I'm pretty sure it was the Violet Blue that I read awhile back. Good book though, hmm... sorry, little distracted :D Good luck.

can you get yourself off in less than an hour or is it only when someone else is doing the work?

you probably just need to relax or use your imagination more.

sounds like fredweena is on the right track...

also... what are you thinking about... If I really focus on the feelings of what i'm doing I cum a lot faster...

I am doing everything I can mentally to do it....I am almost thinking I should get some lube for her...then she can go longer with out hurting....but I'll try what fredweena suggested as well.

Um yeah the lube will probably help, but it may also cause a total loss of friction which might just exacerbate the problem.

Three kind of obvious questions: Are you using a condom? Are you masturbating at all? Why don't you get sore?

I had a similar problem in the past that I solved with some simple position changes. Any position with her legs closed instead of wide open will provide more stimulation for the both of you i.e. try putting your legs on the outside of hers during missionary, doggy etc. The added friction definitely helped me.

Hope it helps you too :thumbsup:

im somewhat in your situation, but vice versa.

either which way, i still can't cum!

it's cause your using a condom. Try getting thinner ones.

I quite enjoy the Kimono ones, they're in these neat rectangular packages. But if you can't find those, durex has some thin ones that are pretty good too.

hay this is a good problem.
i had this with my girlfriend as well!
just extent the foreplay and relax
enjoy and don;t have a wank a day before u have sex

are you capable of beating off in a reasonable manner of time? I've used that trick before.

i don't see what trick you mean. and i was just going to ask how often you masterbate....
try decreasing the amount you do it, it will make you much more sensitive for a long period of time...

Are you currently taking any kind of anti-depressant (Paxil is one of the usual suspects)? Many have 'certain sexual side-effects' which mirror what you describe.

I've had this problem. I think I've got a "handle" on it (ha ha), but I need to do more research. :)

Here's the deal: since puberty, most of the time I'm getting myself off, so that's what I'm used to. My hand, expected stimulation, and all that. I can't imagine a pussy which can generate that kind of pressure/friction/sensation. I suspect that if a woman stuck around long enough, I'd learn to cum with her, but it hasn't happened yet. And as I age, and gain weight, it gets worse.

effexor is another that has a similar effect.

as a matter if fact I am on an anti depressant called Effexor.



and as for the other questions...I haven't been really able to wank it in the last month....mainly cause I went through a nasty break up and I am living at the rents again...and I have to share a room with my son. There isn't any where private for that...so I don't think wanking too much uis the issue here. uhm...but when I normally do use the hand...it takes a few minutes....

Different strokes for different folks.

Try having your girl friend gently massage your prostate. Its not always practical but works great with a blowjob or hand job.

Well I have had this problem and have solutions that worked for me.
It was definitely caused for me by too much wanking the wrong way! :eek:
Because most lady's pussy's feel a little softer than my vice like grip!
Also maybe you have trained yourself to orgasm to certain fantasies?

Solution:
think of her all the time, get turned on by her and no one else.
If you wank do it very softly (thinking of her don't forget)
Certain positions are better for grip and thrust - doggy and kneeling between her legs should help.
If she's too wet (this is possible) wipe her down a bit - are you slipping out?
Use thinner condoms. I always use them and they don't help with feeling but save your life so are essential
As others have said also having lots of foreplay can help.
There was one g/friend who always got me 90% to orgasm through her kissing alone. Man she was the hottest kisser in the world :thumbsup:
If you don't come it's not the end of everything m8.
This will take weeks and weeks to get right and if it takes longer it's OK.

have fun!

Become a pornstar.

Ya, longer foreplay and stop masturbating. You should cum around. (Pun intended!)

okay...so we changed to one of those ultra sensitive ones...and that seems to have done the trick. well...helped alot anyways.....it seems that the lubricant on the ones we got works alot better with her too...so she isn't getting sore anymore....and I don't last quite as long....but still a respectable 20 to 30 minutes.

Just thought I wuold giv ethat update...and it's a Durex Purple one that we picked up...

I have this problem too.. I think its because I'm used to taking care of myself all the time.. now that the wifey is on the IUD and the the BC I have to get used to having more sex with her and not my hand.. I'm sure that when that happens my problem will be fixed.

You're obvioulsy gay just go have sex with men.

j/k maybe..

Waves magic sex wand that fixes stuff.. oh wait there isn't one. Like anything else you'll get better at it with experience and won't have this problem, i get the feeling that its going to be a lot easier for you to learn to shoot faster than it is for people who shoot fast to wait longer

Try
No wanking it.
No drinking
maybe mood lighting and some candels
eat right / take ur vitimans

Lots of good advice here. And yes, the ultra-thins make a big difference. To me, the "regular" ones allow about as much feeling as a sock.

Had the same problem, solved it in much the same way other people did; more foreplay, different condoms. Glad you're doing better; one thing that may provide additional help is if your GF lightly tickles your nipples from time to time while you both are doing the act. That adds an extra layer of sensation.

There is your answer, right there. Don't try to get involved with anyone else until you have your own life sorted out.