Sex on the first date vs. Marriage
 

So this came up on the radio the other day, as a topic for discussion. I wrote it down and decided today I'd go ahead and pop it on here.

The topic was... how many current married couples had sex on their first date? The radio guy was taking call after call of people who had sex on the first date, and never stayed together... but the one they're with, and married, they didn't... they did it on date 2 or later. I thought it would be an interesting sampling. Also, I'd like your input on the matter, as to whether or not you think it says anything about the two of you, or pretty much guarantees you won't last, or doesn't mean shit.

Note: if you're as good as married, just say you are... if you've been together for forever, and plan on getting married, just pick one, it's not important- what's important is whether you had sex (actual sex, i'm not counting bases) on your first date/rendezvous/whatever.

I had sex on my 3rd date with my first girlfriend. When then had a 1.6 year relationship then she cheated on me another guy who later dumped her.

JJ and I were friends for about 2 years before we started dating. So, obviously we didn't have sex on the first date. I think that being friends before dating has made our relationship stronger. Has anyone else been in this situation?

Sorry if this is a threadjack... :confused:

I had sex on the first date with my SO and we have been together for just over 10 years... fair enough we have had a couple of breaks, but we really do like each other and the breaks have not been long...

We are still together and happier than the early days... We have worked a lot of stuff out during our time together and we are happy to be individuals in our relationship, it is by no means co-dependant! ;)

I don't think it means anything if you sleep with someone on the first date... obviously there is a drive to do such, why not?

We waited about two months, if I remember correctly, but I honestly don't think it means anything if you have sex on the first date. I've known couples who did who are happily married or have a happy relationship.

My wife and I, now married 24 years, did NOT have sex on the first date. Had we, I doubt we'd have ever married. I'd have thought much less of her from the beginning of the relationship. In fact, I didn't even think it was a possibility with her, which was one reason I wanted to get to know her better.

Does third base count (I'm saying "yes" and voting accordingly)? We reached hands-on-genitals on our first date, but waited on penetration until 4 months later. Married 11 years, together 18 years.

I didn't even get so far as kissing on the first date with my current SO - took 5 months to get to sex. Been together almost two years now.

My wife and I had sex about a month after becoming a couple.
My sister-in-law had sex the first night (4 hours after they met at a party) with her (now) husband

Been together a year and we had sex within 8 hours of meeting.

I don't think there's any more than a casual relationship between the two. Some people have sex quite early on when things seem to just click. Sometimes things works out, sometimes they don't. For us, we'd likely be married already were it feasible, so while I don't know for certain that we'll last forever I have a strong suspicion.

Not married yet.....69 more days to go til we are married so I didnt know what to answer on the poll....but we had sex on the first date

Married for 13 years and we didn't have sex on the first date. We made out on the first date and had sex on the third or fourth date.

I see no problem with sex on the first date. I just don't get waiting. Seems like wasted time. Time you could have been having sex.

hmmm, I don't see a category for before the first date.

I knew my wife for a long time before we hooked up at a wedding. We didn't come as a couple, so I wouldn't call it a date.

I pierced my (now) wife's hood with a 10ga barbell on our first date, does that count? ;) I think we waited for about a week for it to heal before our inhibitions left us...

It was about 10 months before we had sexual intercourse, but we had oral sex starting pretty soon after we got together.

-Lasereth

Interesting results, keep the responses coming, everyone!

my current partner and i had sex on date 2. not married, been together 3 years (though if i had any desire to actually be married, i'd marry him).

It depends upon what you consider the "first date". We stopped and had some tea on the way home from work one day when we were both there late, and made a formal date for later on that week. We did have sex at the end of that date.

I voted for had sex on the first date. Coming up on five years together and third wedding anniversary next month.

Gilda

I was in a relationship for a year and a half. We had met at a party and fooled around, but no sex. About two months later him and some friends came over to see me and go snowboarding. We had sex that night. However, we are no longer together.

I'd more readily count this as "did not" only because the point of the exercise is opportunity. You may not have called the first outing after work a "date", but you were together, and had the opportunity. I know it's odd, and seems like a grey area, but that's the nature of polls sometimes. Can't cover every possibility. :)

And thank you all for being so honest and open with what you may consider to be personal info. I assure you, I'm not just trying to see who puts out. :)

Married. Waited about 4 months before we had sex.

Long time SO... waited 8 months.

Married for 7 years and we dated for 7 years before that (14 years total to help with the math). We had sex BEFORE we were dating. It was a casual thing for a while during which we both saw other people. Then one day we just sort of started being exclusive.

had a gf of 3 years who i love more than i can explain, and we waited until we loved eachother (about 3 months) until we had sex.

Two weeks after the first "date". We had known each other longer, but it took a while for the relationship with her ex to wind down

guess I am alone.

We had sex on our wedding night for the first time. wouldn't change a thing (we dated for 6 years prior to marriage). Never felt I missed out on a thing. Not wasted time. At all.

I am not married, had sex with 20 year SO on the third date. 3 days into it. LOL

Personally, I've never been in this situation, but I know my parents didn't have sex on their first date and they've been together 23 years (I believe they waited till the 3rd date). From what they've told me, my mom was the forward one--my dad, being a gentleman, didn't make a move to kiss her on the first date. But when she got out of his car to go to hers, he had rolled his window to say goodbye one last time, and she stuck her head in and slipped him some tongue.

Of course, my parents moved fast in other ways: they got married about six months after meeting and had me six months later :)

onesnowyowl's folks had a shotgun wedding! Whee!

No offense my dear, I just like the phrase shotgun wedding and will use it at every opportunity. It conjures a mental image of a bunch of southern good ole' boys firing off their sidearms in celebration.

It's interesting that the (amalgamated) totals are 51 vs. 27. I was convinced there wouldn't be any correlation or if any it would go the other way. I suppose perhaps chivalry isn't dead after all. Although granted I'm not entire sure I'd call this a representative sample, the group's still to small to make any final judgement on the issue.

We had oral sex on the first date but not sex until about a month later, but we had hooked up before. Im married now, have been for 3 years

We are not married, but have been together for 3 years. We had sex on the first official date.

The wife gave me a blowjob the first night we went out together. It wasn't a date and we were simply travelling as a pack. Canada day was our first date and yes we had sex.

Was this a planned thing, or was it a "Hey, since your hands are down there, we might as well get to know each other" kind of thing?

Yeah this isn't a "how long did you wait" thread, it's strictly about the correlation (if there is one) between those who do the deed on their first date vs. those who wait even until just date number two and if has any bearing on the longevity of the relationship.

Though not overwhelming, the numbers do definitely seem to be saying something.

Yep, Secret and I were friends through mutual activities in high school before we started dating. Granted, he was trying to get me interested in him for a long time while I still saw him as only a friend. :p Still, I think that the fact that our relationship grew out of a friendship did make it stronger.

My wife and I worked with each other for a year plus. She had a boyfriend and I had a girlfriend. We both ended our relationships at the same time. But not as a plan. She wanted to go out and invited me to many different things. I finally took her up one day after many dropped plans. We both had a good time. We didn't have sex for two weeks. Had sex and it was BAD for both of us!! Long story short. We got married in two months.

Jesse

We didn't have sex on the first date, but the second, more due to circumstance so I voted first.

We have been together for 14 years.

Married for 8.

Still maddly in love, and know that our marriage is not based around sex.

I think much of the first date sex = no long term relationship has to go with the mindset a female has who is looking for sex on a first date. If you just want to get laid you are not looking or caring about a relationship per say. I don't include the men in this because most men will not turn down sex on a first date because they don't want to spoil a relationship.

Yeah, it disgusts me how easy men are.

Welcome
 

Hey everyone, let's welcome Bill Clinton to the TFP!

Lead543 and I were friends before we started dating... that and I lived in Ohio. We've been together for 8 month on Sept 8th