The dreaded "Going On A Break", need some guidance (female translator requested) - Page 2 - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

analog · 07-04-2005, 12:05 AM

Sorry man... I'm always a champion of reltionships and love, but not when there's nothing to save. She wants to fuck other guys. She thinks lettign you fuck other girls will compensate you for her ability to fuck other guys. You've grown apart... the main reason why "high school sweethearts" break up and don't typically last is because they grow apart once they enter the "real world". Everyone reacts to it differently, and you've gotten to a point of no return. Love doesn't mean you can be together. I still hold love in my heart for one ex of mine, but we can not be together. We realised it, and moved on. Yeah, it'll hurt. But go band-aid on your relationship and end it quickly, and honestly. If you try to gloss over the truth of the breakup, you're only hurting yourself, not her.

reiii · 07-04-2005, 06:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bob Biter

When you meet other girls during her absence you could even go for a more verbose answer to the availability question: "A girlfriend? Well, I had one, but she decided to go to Europe to find herself and asked for a "break". While I love her and didn't want this sort of emotional distancing, I understand and respect her desire to experiment. Maybe she'll abstain from any relationship, maybe she'll nail an entire soccer team. It's not really my concern. The point is, we're both young and young people like to feel free. I'd be a real possessive asshole if I demanded that she limit herself at this point in her life, while living across an ocean. However, I told her exactly how I feel, and she still wanted a "break". I made it a "break up", to help her out with a little dose of reality. I'm gonna have a drink, do you want one?"

I'll try it, but only if I can say it in one breath. Your analysis of her motivation might be right, but we are now communicating freely and I tend to trust her. As for how I will respond to "do you have a girl friend?" well nobody has ever really asked me that. Dont ask dont tell policy has been implicit since I started school and half the people had some lingering longterm entagnlement.

Bob Biter · 07-04-2005, 04:59 PM

I see... Well, since I don't personally know you or this girl, then any advice of mine should obviously be taken with a grain of salt. If your gut tells you that you can trust her, then go ahead and do so. However, all the information you've given us so far is setting off all sorts of alarm bells.

As for telling a girl what I've said, well I'm sure you could find a way to boil it down. I tend to ramble a lot! I'm so obsessed over making myself clear that I just go off on these tangents (which sometimes affects the clarity of things!). I sincerely hope that things work out as you want them to and that you don't get hurt (too much) in the process.

pig · 07-05-2005, 05:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by reiii

Your analysis of her motivation might be right, but we are now communicating freely and I tend to trust her.

I think the pertinent question is whether or not she's being honest with herself. Breakin up is hard to do, as they say, and if she's feeling the break-up, she may not be able to admit it to herself until she's across the water. Regardless, come what may it will be for the best.

07-04-2005, 04:59 PM	#43 (permalink)
Bob Biter Non-smokers die everyday Location: Montreal	I see... Well, since I don't personally know you or this girl, then any advice of mine should obviously be taken with a grain of salt. If your gut tells you that you can trust her, then go ahead and do so. However, all the information you've given us so far is setting off all sorts of alarm bells. As for telling a girl what I've said, well I'm sure you could find a way to boil it down. I tend to ramble a lot! I'm so obsessed over making myself clear that I just go off on these tangents (which sometimes affects the clarity of things!). I sincerely hope that things work out as you want them to and that you don't get hurt (too much) in the process. __________________ A plan is just a list of things that don't happen.

07-04-2005, 12:05 AM	#41 (permalink)
analog Banned	Sorry man... I'm always a champion of reltionships and love, but not when there's nothing to save. She wants to fuck other guys. She thinks lettign you fuck other girls will compensate you for her ability to fuck other guys. You've grown apart... the main reason why "high school sweethearts" break up and don't typically last is because they grow apart once they enter the "real world". Everyone reacts to it differently, and you've gotten to a point of no return. Love doesn't mean you can be together. I still hold love in my heart for one ex of mine, but we can not be together. We realised it, and moved on. Yeah, it'll hurt. But go band-aid on your relationship and end it quickly, and honestly. If you try to gloss over the truth of the breakup, you're only hurting yourself, not her.