Sage

Well, I have recently made the revelation that I am a bisexual women, happily I might add! I love looking at women, and perhaps would like to explore being with another woman (perhaps with Martel -my husband- as well) but I'm totally clueless when it comes to identifying bisexuality/curiousity in other women. I don't know how to approach the topic if I see someone I'm interested in, and I have no clue how to flirt except with guys... and as I remember it flirting with guys was easier because all I'd have to do is show some skin.

Anyway, I know a lot of you are bi/curious, and I was wondering if you could help me with the who/what/when of it all!

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doncalypso

I have no clue... Sorry I can't be of help there, lady.

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bubonico

I have no advice as I'm a guy, but my girlfriend made a similar realization about a week ago. She told me that she thinks she has a crush on a girl. I'm not totally sure how I feel about it, but I told her if she's curious then to go for it. I don't think she knows even how she feels about it actually. It was pretty funny though because she sounded like a guy when she was talking about it. Saying how she was intimidated by this chick because she's so hot and everything. I guess what I'm getting at is I could use the same advice as Sage, just for my girlfriend and not me.

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cellophanedeity

Well, I've experimented a bit with women, one bi-curious and one full fledged bi.

One of them wore T-shirts that said "I love strippers"
the other is a friend of my boyfriend's. On the first day her and I met, she approached us, and said "I think I want you guys."

Other than that, I have no idea. If I knew, I'd have eaten a lot more lady by now.

Good luck!

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Esen

hmmmm, maybe there is a bi-curious girl who lives in your neighborhood reading your post right now.

That would be too easy

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What is everyone doing in my room?

Janey

do you live in toronto?

lurkette

Or North Carolina?

Try joining a GLBT support group or club, going to lesbian bars, or looking online at places like Salon personals or adultfriendfinder. You can also look at your local indy paper's personals. Or just flirt a lot and see who bites

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miguelmv

My gf has been also interested in girls for a while now. I remember taking her to a party with all my friends. Everybody got drunk, i turned around and I see my beautiful woman kissing 3 of my girl friends!!! (WHICH BY THE WAY WAS HOT HOT HOT!!) Nothing happened that night because of this, we were kicked out of the bar where we were at and because it was winter, the weather outside quickly brought down any desires from her side. :- \ hehe, I would have love to see where it could have ended up


Mig

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martinguerre

i've had many a conversation about this...and the collective conclusion of the bi-discussion group i attend is that very few people have bi-dar...the ability to spot other bisexuals. part of the problem is that there isn't a very good way of presenting/performing bisexuality that wouldn't just be assumed to be homosexuality.

as a married couple you're also going to be assumed to be hetero...so overriding that signal may be tricky. look for links in to the GLBTQ community where you live-not necessarily dating or social stuff even first...with some friends and connections, the process of finding new folks from there gets a whole lot easier.

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Martel

Isn't my wife awesome? This must be any guy's dream come true, having a wife who wants to have a threesome with another woman. I must say, listening to her fantasize about the cute blonde in her class is totally hot

Yes.

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Anamnesis

Gilda

Finding another woman who might be interested, I don't really know how to go about that part, as both women I've been with approached me first. How Grace and I got together is in my journal, but I don't think that would really be helpful, as she's exclusively lesbian rather than bi, and I was apparently giving off signals that planes passing overhead could spot. Unless you'd be interested in a lesbian? That wouldn't work for the threesome with Martel, though.

In any case, the others have covered that. I wouldn't recommend a lesbian bar to start, as those can be a bit of a meat market.

As for flirting, well, it's not much different from doing it with a guy. Make eye contact. Share a little information about yourself. Ask questions about her. Touch her in small, casual ways over and over again. Make a show of checking her out, but don't linger; be appreciative without going over into creepy. Think about all those little things that you like when a guy does them when flirting with you, and do them with her. If she's receptive, she'll give you signals, and you can play it by ear from there.

You could probably find a woman or two here to practice online flirting with. I'd volunteer, but I'm taken at the moment, but I can say it's a lot of fun even when there's no real life contact.

And showing some skin works with women who are interested, too.

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lurkette

*stifles excited scream*

Well, then, problem solved

Yes, ratbastid likes checking out women with me. He used to be kind of peeved that women seem to be more into me than him (it doesn't bother him so much now) - he said (mostly joking) "the whole point of having a bi wife is that you bring home hot girls for me!"

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"If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing."

- Anatole France

james t kirk

I have a female friend in Toronto who might fit the bill.

tecoyah

In all seriousness....I would think the way to meet someone is the same...regardless of genders involved. Talk....evaluate interest...talk more...re evaluate interest....discuss with other....talk some more.....kiss and talk....evaluate again......get nekkid.

Not necessarily in that order.

There are many here who can help you in this.....and having seen you....All would be willing to help....heh

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Esen

actually I think you guys are actually got someting going right here lol.

isn t it great to communicate!

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~Esen
What is everyone doing in my room?

alec

i think bars or clubs arent that difficult, at least in my experience. if either of you two are smooth talking or good looking, you can usually sense who will be open to these sort of things. i have heard but havent experienced people being intoxicated while doing so, realizing what they're doing, and flip out. so it may be best to find someone sober.

Sweetpea

Sage, i've also recently come to the same type of decison. And met Gilda shortly afterwards and that's turning out rather well and i'm learning alot about how wonderful women are on a romantic level, i highly recommend exploring that side of yourself and embracing it

bi support groups are a great place too . . . i'm thinking about going to a Seattle Bi potluck next month, so i'll let you know how that turns out

Also, are you looking for a 'girlfriend' or just someone to join in casual threesomes or something in between?? How does Martel feel about sharing ya?

all things to think about before getting involved . . . you're a gorgeous gal Sage and it'll be no time flat that women will be inviting you to be part of their lives . . .

sweetpea

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Martel

I think its pretty exciting, personally, though I must admit that I wouldn't be nearly as keen on the idea of Sage having a relationship with another girl that completely excluded any chance of my ever being a part of it... I totally encourage her to explore this side of her sexuality, but I think inherent in the deal is that we're kinda in it together.

Similarly, while we have talked about me flirting with other girls for the purposes of possibly leading to bringing a third party to bed with us for occasional fun and excitement, I wouldn't want to have a side relationship that was just one on one.

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Anamnesis

ratbastid

I believe I said, "for us"...

raeanna74

We've found bi women by finding certain swinger/bi women groups on Yahoo or swinger "date" sites. Otherwise it's been a little hard to find women but then again we don't enjoy the bar scene that much. Only go when it's a swinger 'meet and greet' at a bar.

Ever get up to Wisconsin?

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jillian

flirting usually works very well... at least for me anyway

chickentribs

You might want to think about getting involved in your local arts community and maybe volunteering at a women's shelter. I know it sounds cliche, but I guarantee you will be plugged right into the middle of the scene in your city - and helping out some very worthy causes... Having been in a couple of relationships with women who have gone down this road, I would offer that you try to find somebody else who is bi-sexual and currently in a relationship as well. It will help you ease into the situation more comfortably when you meet somebody and they have the same goals as you for the relationship. Good luck, Sage - and Martel, have fun!

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Oft expectation fails...
and most oft there Where most it promises
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