BigDonkey2

I'm a really shy guy when it comes to making moves on girls. I can talk to them fine and all but when it comes time to make a move I'm either too shy to do it or just too scared. Like today I went to see a movie with this girl I've been talking to and she seems to be diggin me. I wanted to put my arm around her during the movie but I got so goddamn nervous and then just chickened out and didnt do it. I was thinking about asking her if I could but then thought that would've been dumb. I just seem to psych myself out and get stressed out over this when the opportunity arises. Any tips on how to break this initial barrier? I've always been like this with girls. I just get really really shy when it comes to doing stuff like this because I don't know how they will react. I try to get it through my head that the worst thing that can happen is she says no, but I still chicken out. I know that if I had a few drinks in me that this wouldn't be a problem because I don't care what happens when I'm drunk. Some words of advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks all.

-BigD

SVT01Cobra

You know, I'm the same way.

This seems to be the biggest problem. However, once you get past it, it's like a snowball rolling down a hill.

I think you just have to learn to sense if there's any sexual tension between you two. If she's into you, and you can tell, something like putting your arm around her shouldn't bother her too much.

I think movies are shitty dates anyways. (no offense) Sitting through 2 hours wondering when/if you should put your arm around a girl, or when to make the next move is fucking hell.

K-Wise

Well was it specified beforehand whether it was a date or not? I mean if it wasn't a date and it was just 2 friends going to the movies okay she might not be cool with you putting your arm around her but if it's a date and both of you know this she will expect you to make some kind of move. Are you confident in your appearance? Thats pretty crucial. You have to be confident. One of my big problems. If you think she finds you attractive and she agreed to go on a date with you then she expects you to make a move eventually even if it's something small like putting your arm around her or holding her hand.

I'd go with holding her hand first and then move up to the arm around her thing. Just casually drop your hand by hers so that they touch and if she grabs it and holds it then you're in. I'd wear a long sleeve shirt with a shirt underneath just in case she gets cold you can offer it to her.

I'm not much for advice though. I've only been on one date my whole life but that pretty much how it went down...I put my hand by hers, she grabbed it and held onto it, I put my arm around her shoulder and let her rest her head on mine, I was wearing a short sleeve shirt though but she did get cold and I just took it off and handed it to her and she wrapped her arms in it. After the movie was over she stopped me right at the door gave me a big hug and then she kissed me. I was confident the whole time that she was into me though..she made it very clear to me.

Maybe that can work for you .

Asta!!

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scott_p_1

Yeah, the initial contact is usually the hardest part I find.

I had a bit of the same problem with my girlfriend. She was a lot hotter than any of the girls I had dated recently and I wasn't quite sure if she liked me, so I was especially nervous.

I managed to make my move the geekiest way possible... Showing her how to play Halo. She had never really played any games like that before, so she was a bit lost on everything and couldn't even really get the whole movement thing down. So, after a whole bunch laughing and telling her what to do, I pulled the whole "Guide her hands" move, and it worked. I did it as kind of a half joke, half "break the initial contact". From there on, smooth sailing.

That being said, to make the initial contact, try to find a reason to touch her hand that goes along with the conversation you're having. Go on a date a bit less passive than a movie. While you're talking to her, you'll find it easier to gauge how much she likes you, which will help you decide when to make your "move"

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d*d

just do it, theres no trick or special technique, you have nothing to lose. It's a confidence thing.

Glory's Sun

the initial part is the easy part. Just do it. Don't worry about what *could* happen. Like d*d said, there's no trick or special technique...you just have to do it. What's the worst that could happen? She says no.. big deal..that just means you're one step closer to that yes.

Seaver

Ok, on dates this is the general rule I follow.

You dont have to worry about making the first move. Women do that anyways in a VERY subtle way. Let them break the touch barrier. By that, it's something as her touching your arm when you're talking to her (like when you make her laugh), or her arm gently grazing yours. Women do this ALL the time and most men never pick up on it.

Dont break the barrier before any of this occurs, while many women dont care, many more women are quick to feel impinged upon. Women get touched every day by men trying to hit on them, so wait until she gives you the subtle go ahead.

As far as that, dont do something as cliche as the arm around in the movie theatre. Things like when you're walking into a building together, gently put your hand in the small of her back (trust me, many women have told me they love it) like you're leading her. Do little things like that, they're not overtly "I'm into you", but she WILL get it.

pinkie

That's all totally right on advice, Seaver. Listen to that man, he knows what he speaks!

ratbastid

Yep, that's a winner. Holding the door open with one hand, the other hand on the small of her back. It's a gesture that's simultaneously innocent, romantic, and intimate. But it's got to happen naturally. And I'm with Seaver--it's best if she's demonstrated some physical comfort with you first.

NeoSparky

I've had the best luck with:

"Are you the kind of girl that likes to cuddle?"
wait for a yes response then flip up the arm rest and invite her in to cuddle.

abaya

Seaver and Ratbastid are right on!... that is a very gentle gesture that most women love. A hand on the small of the back is so nice when out for the evening... shows that you love to touch her constantly, even in small ways.

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lindseylatch

oh yeah, Seaver is totally on the right track. Trust me, she's just as in tune to you as you are to her. If she touches you IN ANY WAY, and doesn't pull away, you are "in," man. I would say you can break the barrier, if you're SUPER gentle and slow.
If she does "accidentally" touch you, don't jerk away. She'll think you aren't into her.

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Cimarron29414

(What Seaver said)

also, once you get past the first little barrier and feel comfortable, then ask her out on a date that "requires" touching, although still gentle and innocent. For example, a cooking class or a dance lesson. She would probably think you were pretty freakin' cool for trying something new like that. It would also get you past holding hands pretty easily. However, SHE has to be into this idea, don't *force* the idea of a date like that on someone.

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Kalnaur

My wife liked to be offered my hand, for instance when we would go to a park to walk around. I would open the car door for her, let her out, then offer her my hand, and she always took it.

just one of those things, but let her decide when the touching begins; it shows you aren't just trying to get into her knickers.

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Seaver

Wow...

I was smiling at the first "I'm with Seaver..."

Well I'm glad yall liked my advice, it was a long hard treck to get there (and LOTS of talking with women), so take advantage

[QUOTE]Another good idea, I'm a big fan of taking her out to shoot pool, bowling, or if it's a beautiful day shoot put-put. Movies are cliche, and it's hard to A) get to know someone, and B) have fun with someone when you're sitting parallel to each other and not being able to talk w/out bugging 5 other people.