Astrocloud

Okay, I can announce that it's been over a year since I've done it. I'm not exactly sure why except that I can definitely say that it is much easier for a man to be celibate than it is a woman... (Technically women get hit on much more than men.)

And I'm not sure if it's intentional or not. Yeah, I'd like to have sex. It was even offered to me by a few women that I just plain wasn't interested in... I just somehow see the opposite sex as having all these traps. Like, I'm not going to have sex if there's a commitment and I'm not going to have sex if there is NO commitment.

So basically there is no way I can have sex right now. Unless by some miracle I meet the one -which I'm not expecting.

I told an old college friend (who is a married female) of mine that I was "taking a break" from the whole dating scene. I'm not even sure if that is technically true. Look how easy it is to "take a break": don't do anything and nothing will happen. I mean all these guys I know are going out night after night just continually hunting for these women. I would guesstimate that only about 5% of their continual harrassment of the fair sex even erupts into anything.

And it's not like I'm scared of being shot down. I just feel like I stopped caring. I mean I have other issues to worry about. The #1 issue is that my life sucks and that has to change. My life would be better with someone cool in it -but these women aren't hanging around where I am so I'm looking at another year or two of no-nookie. Even if I did meet "the one" would I even recognize her?

So anyways I'm just throwing this out there. Maybe someone could agree or disagree with my perspective. I'm not even really sure if this belongs in Sexuality.

Suave

I feel similarly to you, although sometimes I do go out and partake in the "continual harassment of the fairer sex" as you put it. It just happens to be very rare that I get the inclination along with the opportunity. Definitely nothing you need a support group for or anything. "Hi, I'm Astrocloud, and I don't really care that much about sex. I joined celibates anonymous because I want to get that rabid need for sex to constantly tug at my every thought."

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doncalypso

Astrocloud, maybe you just need to focus on improving things in your career and get your life back in order before you can rekindle that desire/need for sex and female companionship. When you become happy (or at least content) with your life things will be more likely to fall into place.

I must admit though that I find it hard to believe you got offered pussy and turned it down. But then again, maybe it would be the same case with me if I were in your shoes.

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greeneyes

I know this is arguing semantics, but I wouldn't say you are celibate, I would say you are abstaining from sex. Celibacy means to choose to not have sex at all, especially for religious reasons.

How can you say that it will be another year or two of no nookie? No one knows when they will meet someone that they want to be with. Just go with the flow, let things happen. Maybe you'll meet someone, maybe you won't.

I don't know why you your life sucks right now, but you say it has to change so do it! Make a list of things that you want to change and an action plan to do it. Empower yourself and you can do it!

Good luck.

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Suave

You'd take it from anyone who'd offer? I sure wouldn't. I might be considered "picky" by some standards though.

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"Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity opinions which differ from the prejudices of their social environment. Most people are even incapable of forming such opinions." - Albert Einstein

"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something." - Plato

blahblah454

Hey sounds like I'm in a similar boat as you are. Its been about 2 years or so since my last relationship/fling (cant think of a better word) and Ive been enjoying it. But I love my life right now, I kinda hate my job sometimes but I figure thats normal. But I suppose this might change soon as I am avidly pursuing this hotty at my work (only problem is that she is going out with a complete dick).

So anyways just enjoy the free life. And honestly do like greeneyes says and make an action plan to improve your life, and just drill those things into your head. I made a similar one for myself: play more guitar, play less computer, and work out more. Any I just run that through my head alot... so far Ive made good on all of them except the less computer thing... so that means I dont sleep alot now!

metalgeek

Same sort of thing, mmm around 1 year 8 months now, alythough thats mainly due to lack of condoms at opertune moments
But yeah not sure if I'm afraid of being shot down or not, just mostly never try, cause well, I'm lazy I guess.
The lazyness is something I'm working on though, mainly for other parts of my life.

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doncalypso

I wouldn't take it just from anyone... but still, guys don't get propositioned half as often as women do.

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lindseylatch

Haha, that's cause most women probably don't just walk up to a guy and say "Nice shoes, wanna fuck?"
Our culture says the guy is supposed to do the propositioning, anyway. So, a lot of chicks don't feel comfy asking a guy for a date.

Now, for the on topic bit.
I would worry about the more pressing stuff in your life, and forget about trying to get laid. You're young, you're male (and there are actually less males than females in the US), you've got plenty of time and future opportunity.
Put the time you worry about chicks into fixing your life, and subscribe to some good porn sites.

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snowy

Celibacy/forced abstinence isn't a bad thing. I was celibate/abstinent for nearly a year (thank you, S., for relieving me of that distinction!). It took me a while to figure out that I could pick/choose what I wanted to do (I am female). But in the meantime, I had fun with friends, dated, and generally enjoyed myself. I sorted out my own life and did some crucial housekeeping.

But the male friend I ended up sleeping with out of convenience has actually turned out to be one of the longest sexual relationships I've had. So you never know what celibacy will toss to you.

Besides, I've found I find the best catches when I'm NOT looking.

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doncalypso

I could agree that voluntary celibacy isn't so bad because you're doing it by choice. But it isn't fun to be sexless when it's due to circumstances and not your choice.

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TexanAvenger

No, but them's the breaks... you either take it for what it's worth and transmute that frustration and whatnot into something productive or you hang on it and build that frustration all that much more quickly.

doncalypso

Going to the gym, taking Taekwondo lessons, learning to play a new instrument, etc., will only take you so far. At some point the frustation of celibacy will drive a man made even if he does a whole heap of other activities to transmute the frustration.

It is a sad thing when a man has to resort to hiring the services of a prostitute in order to satisfy his sexual hunger because he can't get any sex even if he life depends on it. Trust me on that one... been there, done that.

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Joan of Arc

Nothing wrong with taking a break from sex. Sex can emotionally drain you. This would be a good time to find new interests and pursue them.

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