any such thing as a bad BJ.... - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

G5_Todd · 03-30-2005, 01:55 AM

hell yes....i added another slash to the bad BJ count after tonight....same problem as the last i added....to teethy.....

thankfully i saw it was going in that direction and i was after to savage earl b4 he got to beat up to perform later.....

any one else have the bad bj count going?

Irishsean · 03-30-2005, 02:01 AM

I have yet to actually have a good BJ!

One girl thought a blowjob meant she should pinch the head tll the hole opened and blow down it! Fucking OW! Felt like someone was pouring hot molten steel down it! The only other girl I let try ended up taking shreads of skin off with her shark teeth, I bled for 3 days!

Its getting to the point I'm scared of them!

tecoyah · 03-30-2005, 02:31 AM

Teeth are your friend.........

Irishsean · 03-30-2005, 02:43 AM

I needed 11 stitches... teeth are bad! Explaining that to the doctor sucked too!

ruggerp11 · 03-30-2005, 02:47 AM

Not so much a BAD blowjob but some very blase ones. Blowjobs that don't really get me anywhere. Girls that think bobbing up and down on the tip as fast as they can makes a good blowjob. Now my experience isn't as bad as yours is, Use your hands girls and take the whole thing if you can, if not take as much as you can. be creative, how would you like it if all we did is lick you like an ice cream cone for an hour without changing it up. Would get a little boring eh?

ShaniFaye · 03-30-2005, 04:16 AM

My Davey loves teeth!!!!

I sometimes wish I could give classes on how to give a blow job and how its NOT just bobbing up and down as rugger described.....so many women could benefit if they'd just take the time to READ up on sexual techniques.

doncalypso · 03-30-2005, 04:31 AM

My girlfriend gets offended when I tell her to use a different technique or not use her teeth. She's too stubborn to take constructive criticism.

Redlemon · 03-30-2005, 04:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by doncalypso

My girlfriend gets offended when I tell her to use a different technique or not use her teeth. She's too stubborn to take constructive criticism.

Ooof. I hate to be blunt, but is she giving the blowjob for your pleasure, or for hers? If she isn't giving pleasure, why do it at all?

Irishsean · 03-30-2005, 04:44 AM

11 stitches! In my penis! You can still see the scars! Teeth bad!

ratbastid · 03-30-2005, 05:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Irishsean

11 stitches! In my penis! You can still see the scars! Teeth bad!

That sucks. So to speak.

I've never encountered real serious teeth situations. The bad blowjobs I've had in the past have been bad in the "too gentle/not enough action/hello anybody home down there" variety. The girl lurkette and I were dating for a while last year was ALL lips. She didn't touch me with her tongue or the rest of her mouth at all, and when she went deep, I swear there was a hole in the back of her head, because I couldn't feel a thing.

We talked about that just a couple days ago, actually--she's still a good friend--and I apologized for not showing her how I like it. The dumb thing I do is: I never said what I wanted because I was afraid to offend her, but the real effect of it was that she felt incompetent. So I apologized for that.

Church · 03-30-2005, 05:30 AM

Ya, it was the teeth for me too. I didn't need stitches but damn, she treated it like a cob of corn. Treat it like a tootsie roll.

ruggerp11 · 03-30-2005, 05:31 AM

whoa I didn't know you broke up. I'm glad your making the effort to be good friends still. Its not an easy thing believe me.

john_713 · 03-30-2005, 05:33 AM

I get teeth situations all the time. Solved by telling her that I'm in pain.It started off terribly with my current SO but slowly it was getting much better and she was keeping them out of the way when a strange thing happened; I was away for a month and couldn't see her, i get back and shes totally forgotten how to suck and only seemed to know how to bite down. Fortunately I stopped her before it got unpleasant but damn!

wolf · 03-30-2005, 05:50 AM

One word: Braces.

Mephisto2 · 03-30-2005, 06:16 AM

Yes.

Sweet suffering Mary, Mother of Jesus, yes...

Mr Mephisto

danny_boy · 03-30-2005, 06:28 AM

My SO once read somewhere about the teeth technique...Well, it was politely shot down in seconds..never to be used again...

In the beginning I always made sure to ask her what she likes me to do to her, and have made her comfortable enough to tell me when to change it up...so I have been able to tell her exactly how I like it, and she is now a pro...trying to convince her to market her technique.

Shady · 03-30-2005, 06:37 AM

My girlfriend doesn't really like giving head, so any blowjob I get is a good one.

braisler · 03-30-2005, 07:11 AM

I believe that any BJ given with passion and enthusiasm can be a good one. And practice makes perfect, right?

Irishsean · 03-30-2005, 07:33 AM

I'm sick of being the practice! I feel like a crash test dummy!

Samalie · 03-30-2005, 07:43 AM

Only bad BJ I got was a girl way the hell back in HighSchool

Poor technique to start, and then when I actually blew she grabbed on with the tighest grip I've ever experienced and started just jacking me.

Now, like many men, I get a little sensitive when I blow. Felt like fucking sandpaper.

The moment went from the giant "woohoo" of orgasm to me being doubled up in pain in about 1 second flat.

/shudder

snowy · 03-30-2005, 08:12 AM

Wow, guys...

Don't they have a list or something for women to reference of blow job no-nos? Honestly I just thought most of these complaints were intuitive...no teeth is pretty obvious (some guys LIKE teeth but there are ways to figure that out without shredding their equipment, sheesh).

I think the keys to giving a good bj are as follows: 1) enthusiasm, 2) awareness of your partner and their reactions, 3) enthusiasm, 4) skill. #4 increases automatically if a woman is very into #2. I can get my current SO off in less than three minutes because I've paid so much attention to what he likes--what makes him clench his stomach, what makes him gasp, what makes him curl his toes, etc.

I'm always interested in men's opinions regarding blow jobs because I love giving them so much.

Rinndalir · 03-30-2005, 08:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ruggerp11

Not so much a BAD blowjob but some very blase ones. Blowjobs that don't really get me anywhere.

Umm yeah. Put it this way, I've never gotten a bad one from my wife, and she does 2 of the no-nos already listed, using her teeth (gently) and stroking it after I blow (she does it in such a way that sends me into convulsions, it's not rough but not gentle either, and sometimes I have to make her stop because it's TOO MUCH like a sensory overload but it feels fucking fantastic).

I had one ex though, who I could tell just didn't like doing it and that would kill it for me. She wasn't particularly bad at it, I could just tell she'd rather be somewhere else and always wanted me to get off as fast as possible.

lindseylatch · 03-30-2005, 09:14 AM

11 stiches...Jesus...*shudder* Was it her first time? Damn...

Yeah, I'm a lover of giving the bj...but sometimes the SO just wants to get straight to the sex. But if I move fast enough I can get a few minutes in before intercourse.

boredom · 03-30-2005, 09:30 AM

lol the recuring theme for my day now is 11 stiches hehehe

Well its alot better then getting castrated or getting it bitten off and swalloed..

Jesseboy · 03-30-2005, 09:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ruggerp11

whoa I didn't know you broke up. I'm glad your making the effort to be good friends still. Its not an easy thing believe me.

I believe that he and lurkette are still together, they just parted ways with a girl they both were dating....

Man, do you have it made, ratbastid

xxSquirtxx · 03-30-2005, 09:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wolf

One word: Braces.

Bwahahaha! I have braces. I do pretty well, though. He's not scared anymore.

veruca · 03-30-2005, 10:28 AM

My husband has scars on his poor penis from some girl's teeth...I feel bad for him..he still shudders when he thinks of her..lol

Sage · 03-30-2005, 11:00 AM

Once again veruca, your avi is, to use the vernacular, THE BOMB DIGGITY YO!

Anyway, please see the thread "Gentlemen, Behold! My wife... Gives great head!" In the Tilted Exhibitions forum to see how it's REALLY done... and yes, that is me on the giving end!

I'm with onesnowy on this one, I LOOOVVEE giving head- the more spit the better. I was never breasfead as a baby (due to mom's health problems) so from a Freudiean perspective (and yeah, I know no one listens to him anymore) I think I have a major oral fetish. I've been told before, not just by Martel, that I give awesome head, but you know, I think that for me the entheuseasm (?sp) for it was what was most important. Some girls "get it" some don't, but I think that the more you learn and practice, the better you get.

ShaniFaye, you and me and OneSnowy should get together and give classes!

Now if I could just find a willing woman on whom to master the art of cunning linguists.....

Derwood · 03-30-2005, 11:17 AM

As the old joke goes:

GUY 1: "I ever told you about the worst blow job I ever got?"
GUY 2: "No"
GUY 1: "It was awesome!"

ratbastid · 03-30-2005, 11:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sage

ShaniFaye, you and me and OneSnowy should get together and give classes!

And um... You three will need a demonstration subject, right?

*stunned he got to that one first*

cellophanedeity · 03-30-2005, 11:52 AM

I really enjoy giving head, and he really likes recieving (I wonder why!

)I trust Simon to tell me I'm doing it wrong if I am.

No complaints as of yet though!

TheBrit · 03-30-2005, 12:18 PM

My SO has a problem in that she can't open her jaw that wide. Unless she's attentive she drags her teeth over my head, which is really painful.
Also, she's too scared of being rough! I can't come from blowjobs alone, I think it's because it's just far too gentle, I come when I want to through other methods.

snowy · 03-30-2005, 01:33 PM

I'd totally be down for giving classes...

TheBrit, your girlie needs to learn to wrap her lips around her teeth. It hurts at first, but eventually she'll build up calluses. It does take focus. That's one of the primary aspects to giving good head: FOCUS on the task at hand.

TheBrit · 03-30-2005, 02:40 PM

owl, I'll casually suggest it next time we're getting intimate. Won't be for a while, she's just gone to Venice for 4 days. Rarrghhh.

lindseylatch · 03-30-2005, 02:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheBrit

Unless she's attentive she drags her teeth over my head, which is really painful.

Uh...they're called lips...they're good insulators.

I wish my SO would tell me what's good and what isn't...He's very quiet in that respect, and so am I sometimes.
Except for when he rests his hip on my leg during missionary...They I slap his ass...

MexicanOnABike · 03-30-2005, 04:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Irishsean

11 stitches! In my penis! You can still see the scars! Teeth bad!

that sucks... well if it sucked, you woulda enjoyed it!
*let's try that again....*
that bites!

abaya · 03-30-2005, 04:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by onesnowyowl

eventually she'll build up calluses.

Owl, are you serious??? Calluses? When I hear that word, I can only think of the tough thingies that develop on my feet or hands... can't imagine something like that on the inside of my lips!! Do tell more.

ShaniFaye · 03-30-2005, 04:15 PM

I've been giving blow jobs for 18 years....hehehehe I've never had lip calluses

kramus · 03-30-2005, 04:24 PM

Sad but true. A good piss is better then a lousy blowjob.

snowy · 03-30-2005, 04:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by abaya

Owl, are you serious??? Calluses? When I hear that word, I can only think of the tough thingies that develop on my feet or hands... can't imagine something like that on the inside of my lips!! Do tell more.

I said "callus" because there's really nothing better to call it...

If you cover your lips with your teeth often enough you'll end up with a swollen lump on the inside of your upper lip and sometimes a bit on the bottom simply from the friction and the pressure of your teeth. Eventually, though, your lips will just "get used" to it and no lump will form at all. So it's not really a "callus", per se, more of an adjustment that your body makes--it just toughens up, I guess.

03-30-2005, 01:55 AM	#1 (permalink)
G5_Todd Junkie Location: Reichstag	any such thing as a bad BJ.... hell yes....i added another slash to the bad BJ count after tonight....same problem as the last i added....to teethy..... thankfully i saw it was going in that direction and i was after to savage earl b4 he got to beat up to perform later..... any one else have the bad bj count going?

03-30-2005, 02:01 AM	#2 (permalink)
Irishsean edited for content Location: Austin, TX	I have yet to actually have a good BJ! One girl thought a blowjob meant she should pinch the head tll the hole opened and blow down it! Fucking OW! Felt like someone was pouring hot molten steel down it! The only other girl I let try ended up taking shreads of skin off with her shark teeth, I bled for 3 days! Its getting to the point I'm scared of them! __________________ There are no absolute rules of conduct, either in peace or war. Everything depends on circumstances. Leon Trotsky

03-30-2005, 02:31 AM	#3 (permalink)
tecoyah Illusionary	Teeth are your friend......... __________________ Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. - Buddha

03-30-2005, 02:43 AM	#4 (permalink)
Irishsean edited for content Location: Austin, TX	I needed 11 stitches... teeth are bad! Explaining that to the doctor sucked too! __________________ There are no absolute rules of conduct, either in peace or war. Everything depends on circumstances. Leon Trotsky

03-30-2005, 02:47 AM	#5 (permalink)
ruggerp11 Cautiously soaring Location: exploring my new home in SF	Not so much a BAD blowjob but some very blase ones. Blowjobs that don't really get me anywhere. Girls that think bobbing up and down on the tip as fast as they can makes a good blowjob. Now my experience isn't as bad as yours is, Use your hands girls and take the whole thing if you can, if not take as much as you can. be creative, how would you like it if all we did is lick you like an ice cream cone for an hour without changing it up. Would get a little boring eh? __________________ Patriotism means being loyal to your country all the time and to its government when it deserves it. --Mark Twain Do What makes you happy --Me BUT! "Happiness is the absence of the striving for happiness" - Chuang-Tzu

03-30-2005, 04:16 AM	#6 (permalink)
ShaniFaye Submit to me, you know you want to Location: Lilburn, Ga	My Davey loves teeth!!!! I sometimes wish I could give classes on how to give a blow job and how its NOT just bobbing up and down as rugger described.....so many women could benefit if they'd just take the time to READ up on sexual techniques. __________________ *I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!*

03-30-2005, 04:31 AM	#7 (permalink)
doncalypso TFP Mad Scientist Location: Philadelphia, PA	My girlfriend gets offended when I tell her to use a different technique or not use her teeth. She's too stubborn to take constructive criticism. __________________ Doncalypso... the one and only Haitian Sensation

03-30-2005, 04:44 AM	#9 (permalink)
Irishsean edited for content Location: Austin, TX	11 stitches! In my penis! You can still see the scars! Teeth bad! __________________ There are no absolute rules of conduct, either in peace or war. Everything depends on circumstances. Leon Trotsky

03-30-2005, 05:30 AM	#11 (permalink)
Church Tilted F*ckhead Location: New Jersey	Ya, it was the teeth for me too. I didn't need stitches but damn, she treated it like a cob of corn. Treat it like a tootsie roll. __________________ Through counter-intelligence, it should be possible to pinpoint potential trouble makers, and neutralize them.

03-30-2005, 05:31 AM	#12 (permalink)
ruggerp11 Cautiously soaring Location: exploring my new home in SF	whoa I didn't know you broke up. I'm glad your making the effort to be good friends still. Its not an easy thing believe me. __________________ Patriotism means being loyal to your country all the time and to its government when it deserves it. --Mark Twain Do What makes you happy --Me BUT! "Happiness is the absence of the striving for happiness" - Chuang-Tzu

03-30-2005, 05:33 AM	#13 (permalink)
john_713 Upright Location: United Kingdom	I get teeth situations all the time. Solved by telling her that I'm in pain.It started off terribly with my current SO but slowly it was getting much better and she was keeping them out of the way when a strange thing happened; I was away for a month and couldn't see her, i get back and shes totally forgotten how to suck and only seemed to know how to bite down. Fortunately I stopped her before it got unpleasant but damn!

03-30-2005, 05:50 AM	#14 (permalink)
wolf Ravenous Location: Right Behind You	One word: Braces. __________________ Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as Gods. Cats have never forgotten this.

03-30-2005, 06:16 AM	#15 (permalink)
Mephisto2 Junkie	Yes. Sweet suffering Mary, Mother of Jesus, yes... Mr Mephisto

03-30-2005, 06:28 AM	#16 (permalink)
danny_boy Crazy	My SO once read somewhere about the teeth technique...Well, it was politely shot down in seconds..never to be used again... In the beginning I always made sure to ask her what she likes me to do to her, and have made her comfortable enough to tell me when to change it up...so I have been able to tell her exactly how I like it, and she is now a pro...trying to convince her to market her technique.

03-30-2005, 06:37 AM	#17 (permalink)
Shady Tilted Location: Ohio	My girlfriend doesn't really like giving head, so any blowjob I get is a good one. __________________ Only Dre can judge me for the mistakes I'm makin, if I'm fakin I'm Clay Aiken.

03-30-2005, 07:11 AM	#18 (permalink)
braisler Addict Location: Midway, KY	I believe that any BJ given with passion and enthusiasm can be a good one. And practice makes perfect, right? __________________ --- You do not really understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother. - Albert Einstein ---

03-30-2005, 07:33 AM	#19 (permalink)
Irishsean edited for content Location: Austin, TX	I'm sick of being the practice! I feel like a crash test dummy! __________________ There are no absolute rules of conduct, either in peace or war. Everything depends on circumstances. Leon Trotsky

03-30-2005, 07:43 AM	#20 (permalink)
Samalie Tilted Location: Edmonton, Canada	Only bad BJ I got was a girl way the hell back in HighSchool Poor technique to start, and then when I actually blew she grabbed on with the tighest grip I've ever experienced and started just jacking me. Now, like many men, I get a little sensitive when I blow. Felt like fucking sandpaper. The moment went from the giant "woohoo" of orgasm to me being doubled up in pain in about 1 second flat. /shudder

03-30-2005, 08:12 AM	#21 (permalink)
snowy Kick Ass Kunoichi Location: Oregon	Wow, guys... Don't they have a list or something for women to reference of blow job no-nos? Honestly I just thought most of these complaints were intuitive...no teeth is pretty obvious (some guys LIKE teeth but there are ways to figure that out without shredding their equipment, sheesh). I think the keys to giving a good bj are as follows: 1) enthusiasm, 2) awareness of your partner and their reactions, 3) enthusiasm, 4) skill. #4 increases automatically if a woman is very into #2. I can get my current SO off in less than three minutes because I've paid so much attention to what he likes--what makes him clench his stomach, what makes him gasp, what makes him curl his toes, etc. I'm always interested in men's opinions regarding blow jobs because I love giving them so much. __________________ If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

03-30-2005, 09:14 AM	#23 (permalink)
lindseylatch Addict Location: Seattle, WA	11 stiches...Jesus...shudder Was it her first time? Damn... Yeah, I'm a lover of giving the bj...but sometimes the SO just wants to get straight to the sex. But if I move fast enough I can get a few minutes in before intercourse. __________________ "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities" "If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him." "It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong." -Voltaire

03-30-2005, 09:30 AM	#24 (permalink)
boredom Insane Location: California	lol the recuring theme for my day now is 11 stiches hehehe Well its alot better then getting castrated or getting it bitten off and swalloed.. __________________ Wiggum: Find anything this time, boys? Cop: Uh, no sign of him, Chief. Wiggum: Princess Opal? Opal: I see nothing here, but I'm afraid it's splitsville for Delta Burke and Major Dad. Wiggum: But they seem so happy! -- ``Bart the Murderer''

03-30-2005, 10:28 AM	#27 (permalink)
veruca Psycho Location: 4 privet drive	My husband has scars on his poor penis from some girl's teeth...I feel bad for him..he still shudders when he thinks of her..lol __________________ How you turned my world, you precious thing You starve and near exhaust me Everything I've done, I've done for you I move the stars for no one

03-30-2005, 11:00 AM	#28 (permalink)
Sage hoarding all the big girl panties since 2005 Location: North side	Once again veruca, your avi is, to use the vernacular, THE BOMB DIGGITY YO! Anyway, please see the thread "Gentlemen, Behold! My wife... Gives great head!" In the Tilted Exhibitions forum to see how it's REALLY done... and yes, that is me on the giving end! I'm with onesnowy on this one, I LOOOVVEE giving head- the more spit the better. I was never breasfead as a baby (due to mom's health problems) so from a Freudiean perspective (and yeah, I know no one listens to him anymore) I think I have a major oral fetish. I've been told before, not just by Martel, that I give awesome head, but you know, I think that for me the entheuseasm (?sp) for it was what was most important. Some girls "get it" some don't, but I think that the more you learn and practice, the better you get. ShaniFaye, you and me and OneSnowy should get together and give classes! Now if I could just find a willing woman on whom to master the art of cunning linguists..... __________________ Sage knows our mythic history, King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc's She answers hard acrostics, has a pretty taste for paradox She quotes in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus In conics she can floor peculiarities parabolous -C'hi

03-30-2005, 11:17 AM	#29 (permalink)
Derwood Who You Crappin? Location: Everywhere and Nowhere	As the old joke goes: GUY 1: "I ever told you about the worst blow job I ever got?" GUY 2: "No" GUY 1: "It was awesome!" __________________ "You can't shoot a country until it becomes a democracy." - Willravel

03-30-2005, 11:52 AM	#31 (permalink)
cellophanedeity Heliotrope Location: A warm room	I really enjoy giving head, and he really likes recieving (I wonder why! )I trust Simon to tell me I'm doing it wrong if I am. No complaints as of yet though!

03-30-2005, 12:18 PM	#32 (permalink)
TheBrit Psycho	My SO has a problem in that she can't open her jaw that wide. Unless she's attentive she drags her teeth over my head, which is really painful. Also, she's too scared of being rough! I can't come from blowjobs alone, I think it's because it's just far too gentle, I come when I want to through other methods.

03-30-2005, 01:33 PM	#33 (permalink)
snowy Kick Ass Kunoichi Location: Oregon	I'd totally be down for giving classes... TheBrit, your girlie needs to learn to wrap her lips around her teeth. It hurts at first, but eventually she'll build up calluses. It does take focus. That's one of the primary aspects to giving good head: FOCUS on the task at hand. __________________ If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

03-30-2005, 02:40 PM	#34 (permalink)
TheBrit Psycho	owl, I'll casually suggest it next time we're getting intimate. Won't be for a while, she's just gone to Venice for 4 days. Rarrghhh.

03-30-2005, 04:15 PM	#38 (permalink)
ShaniFaye Submit to me, you know you want to Location: Lilburn, Ga	I've been giving blow jobs for 18 years....hehehehe I've never had lip calluses __________________ *I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!*

03-30-2005, 04:24 PM	#39 (permalink)
kramus loving the curves Location: my Lady's manor	Sad but true. A good piss is better then a lousy blowjob. __________________ And now to disengage the clutch of the forebrain ... I'm going with this - if you like artwork visit http://markfineart.ca