innovis

So at the advice of another thread I asked my girlfriend if she'd talk to her gyno about birth control, and perhaps change it. She told me flat out no, because currently she gets free BC from the health department, and otherwise she'd have to pay for it and her insurance would be notified and her parents would find out. She doesn't believe that changing it will affect her at all. What can I do?

snowy

Besides offering to pay for her birth control out of pocket?

If she gets free birth control from the health department, she's probably part of the Family Planning Project. Urge her to find out what other methods are covered under FPP. In my area, ALL methods of birth control are covered, including IUDs, Depo-Provera, Nuvaring, the patch, and several kinds of pills, but that may be different depending on where she lives and who is funding FPP.

Does she know that there are probably more options available through the health clinic? She really should go back for another consultation if it's affecting her negatively. Most gynos just write a prescription for the most popular pill in the market without thinking, and the subsequent side effects of hormonal birth control on some women can be profound.

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If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

maleficent

Why do you think your girlfriend should change birth control methods? What changed in her behavior have you noticed since she started using the birth control method she's on?

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innovis

Well, shes been on the pill almost as long as I've known her. We met last Jan, and she lived 2 hours away (met through a friend) and we'd see each other every 3 weeks. We'd fool around pretty much every day she was here. She got on the pill in early April, we had sex for the first time(I was 19, she was 18) late April before her pill started to take effect (we did it with a condom). We continued to see each other about every 3 weeks, but eventually she didn't want it anymore, like at all. She moved over here in August, and we basically do it 2-4 times a week, although sometimes alot less, but never much more.

Now she says sometimes she "wants it" but she shows no physical(no lubrication at all, and aren't women's genetalia supposed to show some signs of arousal?) or behavioral characteristics(she doesn't attempt to initiate it, she doesn't act like *she wants it* even while we are doing it). I asked her if she ever fantasizes and she says no, she really doesn't think about sex. She doesn't masturbate. She is capable of enjoying sex when its happening, and orgasms often, but like I said, she never initiates it or seems to want it.

In the past, she did masturbate occasionally, actually I remember it happening a couple times a week. Now that we're having sex, I guess she feels like she doesn't need to masturbate, although she doesn't do it when she goes home, and she only did it 1 time over the entire Christmas break (thats the last time she has done it, to my knowledge, and she said the orgasm was a joke it was so bad).

At any rate, I can't quantify how different her sex drive has been over the progression of a year of taking the pill, but between not fantasizing, not wanting it, and basically being disinterested in sex despite the fact that she enjoys it and orgasms are cause for concern right?