Views on celibacy - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

doncalypso · 03-05-2005, 07:45 PM

Hey everyone, I would like to know what you guys all think about celibacy and whether you could see yourself willingly being celibate for an indefinite amount of time. By celibacy I don't just mean abstention from sexual intercourse but also abstention from oral sex, anal sex, masturbation, and watching pornographic material.

Three years ago I went totally celibate for two whole months (I beat Josh Hartnett's character in Forty Days & Forty Nights by a whole 20 days). I didn't have sex, didn't masturbate, and I even abstained from watching porn. Needless to say it was very difficult and painful.

Fast-forward to today and I find myself unable to think of anything other than the fact that graduation is coming up soon and I will probably end up single for the next five to six years.
My girlfriend and I will not be continuing our relationship past graduation because our lives are heading in totally different directions. Add to this the fact that I will be going for a master's degree in either Biology, Biochemistry & Molecular Bio, or Biotechnology so I will be way too busy to date during my graduate studies.

If being single was the only issue it wouldn't bother me so much, but I have a ravenous appetite for sex, and one thing I've learned from experience is that women are turned off by guys who have excessive sexual desires and are desperate for female attention---no matter how you behave they will sense it if you're excessively horny and will run in the opposite direction as soon as you approach. Therefore, it is likely that I will be spending the next decade as a desperate horny celibate guy.

I endured two months of celibacy because I wanted to test myself to see how long I could last without masturbating. But I do not look forward to the next five to six years without sex and I do not want to be limited to masturbation or prostitutes for satisfying my sexual desires.

So tell me... how would you handle it if you were put in a situation where you had to go without sex for an indefinite amount of time? Would you go crazy? Would you masturbate constantly? What would you do?

Sage · 03-05-2005, 07:49 PM

Why in God's name would you think you couldn't have sex for five or six years??? I mean, it's a master's degree, not a monkhood... and no offense to those of you who oppose casual sex, but it's not like you have to be glued to a woman's side to have sex with her. My two cents is, for the love of god don't write off your sexuality for six whole years for the sake of a bigger paycheck.

So, what would I do? Not get into that situation in the first place- life is too short!

Martel · 03-05-2005, 07:59 PM

If you tell yourself you're not going to be able to have sex for the next six years, you probably won't. If you go into it open-mindedly, who knows what will happen?

Just let whatever happens happen. What drives women away is trying to make something happen that isn't happening naturally. Remember, women are just as horny as you are, and occasionally they like to have sex too (gasp!).

greeneyes · 03-05-2005, 08:13 PM

You know, I don't think the last option on the poll makes any sense. How can you give up sex and masturbation but not pornography? Wouldn't that just be torturing yourself?

gar1976 · 03-05-2005, 08:22 PM

Give me some poonanny.

Both my wife and I agree - if we weren't together, we'd be hitting the local dive bars twice a week.

kramus · 03-05-2005, 08:28 PM

Don't "give up" anything. I am in an interegnum right now and I am just going to go with it until something changes. There is absolutely no need to make statements or take a stance or even get too bent over what might be/not be. For all you know you will go out for a coffee and wind up doing marathon-man shag sessions with the caffiene-freak hottie who served you your latte with a warm, wet smile ...

Or not. BTW I didn't see my option in your poll so I have to pass on doing the clickie thing.

Irishsean · 03-05-2005, 08:30 PM

Wheres the 'I'm not giving up either!" option?

doncalypso · 03-05-2005, 08:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sage

Why in God's name would you think you couldn't have sex for five or six years??? I mean, it's a master's degree, not a monkhood... and no offense to those of you who oppose casual sex, but it's not like you have to be glued to a woman's side to have sex with her. My two cents is, for the love of god don't write off your sexuality for six whole years for the sake of a bigger paycheck.

So, what would I do? Not get into that situation in the first place- life is too short!

My past experience has shown me that women get turned off and wanna run away from me because they can sense how desperately I crave female attention and sex. Given that I'll be single again I'll desperately will be craving sex since I've never been a woman magnet. The few women I may be lucky enough to meet when I'm not too busy in class or studying will probably be able to smell the horniness from miles away and will run for the nearest hill as soon as I'm in any close proximity to to them.

I do not want to write off my sexuality for the next six years... but given that history tends to repeat itself it is safe to say that I won't fare any better than I did when I first came to college.

doncalypso · 03-05-2005, 08:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Irishsean

Wheres the 'I'm not giving up either!" option?

Somehow I can't edit the poll. I can edit the text message I posted, but I do not have the ability to add more questions.

I was going to add one more option for answers when I hit the 'Enter' key on my numpad by accident. Sorry....

doncalypso · 03-05-2005, 08:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kramus

Don't "give up" anything. I am in an interegnum right now and I am just going to go with it until something changes. There is absolutely no need to make statements or take a stance or even get too bent over what might be/not be. For all you know you will go out for a coffee and wind up doing marathon-man shag sessions with the caffiene-freak hottie who served you your latte with a warm, wet smile ...

Or not. BTW I didn't see my option in your poll so I have to pass on doing the clickie thing.

Given my luck with women it's more likely that the caffeine-freak hottie will go have sex with some drunk unemployed deadbeat who will treat her like shit before she even notices me. And even if she does notice me, she'll probably be like most other women and be turned off by me because she'll be able to sense the underlying hunger for sex and attention.

martinguerre · 03-05-2005, 08:51 PM

celibacy has to have a purpose, IMO, to make sense. i don't feel i'm called to such a thing...and i certainly don't see not currently being in a relationship as "celibacy."

i just don't see any of this making sense. you're seen as too eager for sex, but are giving up self-love. you want a relationship, but you categorically insist that women won't appriciate you. IMHO, in this case considering celibacy is not moving forward...

Gilda · 03-05-2005, 10:11 PM

Being a young woman who is relatively attractive--not gorgeous, but not bad--I'm pretty much in a place where celibacy would have to be by choice. I picked "give up sex, but not masturbation", but really, if I wern't in a committed relationship right now, I'd be out looking for some lucky lady to share the night with, or in a pinch, a fella in need of sexual release on whom to practice my oral technique.

Kalnaur · 03-05-2005, 10:46 PM

Ok, first, picked that I would need sex, but not masturbation.

Second, why is it that you think women keep running from you when you want sex? To be quite frank, it sounds like there may be problems with you, not how you feel. Perhaps you come on too strong, or maybe you pick shy girls who only want to take it slow or "be friends". Perhaps take some time to reflect on how you've struck out in the past when you've been hankering for sex. In this way you should be able to find a way to "get some".

Good luck and God's speed.

Johnny Rotten · 03-06-2005, 12:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by doncalypso

Given my luck with women it's more likely that the caffeine-freak hottie will go have sex with some drunk unemployed deadbeat who will treat her like shit before she even notices me. And even if she does notice me, she'll probably be like most other women and be turned off by me because she'll be able to sense the underlying hunger for sex and attention.

"Notice" you? If you wait for a woman to give you a signal, you may indeed be cursing yourself to monkhood for the next several years. Two, everybody wants sex, and if you get it on a fairly regular basis, you won't have some crazy look in your eyes. Lastly, sex and attention are two very different situations. If you're a guy who has to be in a relationship to have sex with someone, then... I have some bad news. It's going to be a tough road ahead. Or consider this an opportunity to educate yourself in the ways of casual sex.

bad jane · 03-06-2005, 02:21 AM

i'm with everyone else, don't write off sex just cause you think you'll be busy in school. plenty of us have been to college (some going on to get masters and doctorates) and i think it is safe to say, the majority of us didn't have to give up sex to graduate.

there will be lots of opportunities to meet girls when you are in school. they will be everywhere. and unless you go to a very strict school, it's pretty tough to make it all the way through without attending any social functions.

as for girls being turned off by horny guys... wow. that is a new one on me--particularly when discussing college students!

you may not find the love of your life, or have a long-term relationship while in school, but i wouldn't say you won't be having sex.

doncalypso · 03-06-2005, 06:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Johnny Rotten

"Notice" you? If you wait for a woman to give you a signal, you may indeed be cursing yourself to monkhood for the next several years. Two, everybody wants sex, and if you get it on a fairly regular basis, you won't have some crazy look in your eyes. Lastly, sex and attention are two very different situations. If you're a guy who has to be in a relationship to have sex with someone, then... I have some bad news. It's going to be a tough road ahead. Or consider this an opportunity to educate yourself in the ways of casual sex.

It is not that I have to be in a relationship in order to be comfortable enough to have sex... but the only time I've been able to have sex on a more or less regular basis is when I've been in a relationship.

Unlike most other guys out there I don't have "game" (or "mojo" or whatever the hell it is most guys have that makes them attract women like moths to a burning lamp). When I started college I didn't have a crazed look to my eyes but all my female friends told me my intense desire was excessively palpable regardless of what I do. They told me that my horniness was visible in my eyes, visible in the way I walk, and that it was easy for them to feel it.

As for approaching women, past experience has shown me that whenever I try to approach a woman to get to know her she either turns me down hard becauseis turned off because she senses my underlying horniness or else she makes the effort to get to know me past the horniness but then only considers me as a "friend" with no possibility of ever being sexually attracted to me.

Casual sex is something I've only experienced on rare occasions. Back home I was so lame when it came to women and getting laid that the only way I ever got some was when I paid a hooker for it. I had no "game" then, and i doubt I have any "game" now.

Sage · 03-06-2005, 08:37 AM

Doncalypso, based on what you've written when you were expounding on your ideas, I say you have some underlying self-esteem issues that need to be dealt with first before you run around saying there's no way you're gonna have sex for the next six years. Get thee to a thearaipst!

Halx · 03-06-2005, 08:54 AM

Celibacy, to me, is something I'd only do if I wanted to test myself. I would never give up sexual pleasure for any other reason than to test my own self control. Of course, I would probably fail.

wolf · 03-06-2005, 09:00 AM

Is there a "Please just blow my head off with a shotgun" choice?

degrawj · 03-06-2005, 10:16 AM

i could never ever live without masturbation. ever. sex, i could possibly live without, but that would be really tough. all i can say is that it's a good thing i don't ever plan on becoming a Buddhist monk. :-)

doncalypso · 03-06-2005, 10:21 AM

First of all I would like to thank those of you who have replied and I thank you for being willing to share your opinions without resorting to insults or demeaning comments.

As Sage put it, maybe I really do have some self-esteem issues to work on, and maybe I do need therapy. But one thing about this whole situation in my head that's bothering me is the fact that here I am worrying about not getting any sex or dating for the next six years when I have more urgent and pressing matters to worry and focus on.

Right now I should be worrying about finishing my honors project for my Histology (senior-level biology course) class on time... I should be spending more time planning out how to divide my time wisely to finish this Electron Microscopy project I've been procrastinating on... I should be planning out where to put my belongings in storage while I fly back to my home country to get a new student visa for grad school... I should be worried about whether I'll be able to find an apartment that's close enough to my school when I go to grad school since I do not have my own means of transportation...

I have all these important things I should be focused on, but yet here I am worried that I won't be getting any sex while I'm in grad school when graduation is less than two months away. I guess Sigmund Freud would have had one hell of a field day with me if he got to have me as a patient for psychoanalysis.

analog · 03-06-2005, 01:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Irishsean

Wheres the 'I'm not giving up either!" option?

Yeah, there's no "I would never give up either" option. Because I would never give up either.

insidious_machinae · 03-06-2005, 01:37 PM

This message has been deleted.

Coppertop · 03-06-2005, 02:57 PM

I went 5 years without getting any, from age 19-24. But it wasn't on purpose.

And yes, it sucked.

Willravel · 03-06-2005, 03:34 PM

I am a firm believer in celebacy. I've had two close friends die from AIDS. Learn to control yourself and protect youself or face a terrible price. How can you aviod AIDS with certianty? Celebacy. Barring some impossible infection from sharing blood (which none of us do, because hospitals throw out needles, and shared neeedles are assiciated with illegal drugs, which we don't use), the only way to get AIDS is either during conception or sex. Control it or put it away until you can.

As I am corrently married, I suppose I could go for maybe a year without sex, but it would be the worst year of my life. I am madly in love with my wife and she is the most beautiful and sexy woman in the world. Being without her physical love would be like living without being able to hear music or see art or taste food; her presence is a necessity in my sanity. I don't know how I got along before I met her.

Grasshopper Green · 03-06-2005, 05:09 PM

I've been through long periods of no sex when hubby went on military deployments, his longest being 9 months. Not fun, but I could do it again if I had to. I didn't give up masturbation though, and if I were to become celibate again, I wouldn't give it up then either.

Pax131 · 03-06-2005, 10:35 PM

I don't know if it's just me but something about this "women are turned off by horniness" just dosn't add up. Just watch a woman having an earth-shattering orgasm. I don't know where they go when their eyes roll back in their head but I do know that a guy who isn't feeling horny sure aint going to get them there. I believe it's all about how you let your horniness come out- giving off a vibe that says you're ready to have a good time will probably attract more attention than one that makes it seem like you're despirately hoping to get laid. As for the celibacy bit, the thought would never cross my mind. Not for school, not for work, not for money. There's no satisfaction that comes from a job well done that can compare to the kind radiated by a woman who has been thoroughly pleased. Maybe I have a warped, delusional world view but that's my two cents.

Sweetpea · 03-07-2005, 12:17 AM

I could never give up sex or masturbation . . . I couldn't exist without it . . . heck, i can't even for two days without it . . .

it's a connection to life, i am a passionate person, that manifests itself in all areas of my life, including sex . . . sexuality is part of connection . . . whether it's by yourself masturbating or intimacy with someone . . . it's important and healthy.

that being said . . . If you want to go for it and you think it will make you happier, then i support you

Sweetpea

doncalypso · 03-07-2005, 05:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Coppertop

I went 5 years without getting any, from age 19-24. But it wasn't on purpose.

And yes, it sucked.

What were the circumstances that lead to your five years of celibacy?

During that time did you go without masturbation? Did being celibate drive you to the brink of insanity?

Cervantes · 03-07-2005, 06:30 AM

I'm sorry, none of the answers apply to me, I could probarbly give it up but there is no logical reason for me to do so. For what reason? For what purpose? It makes no sense to give it up if you don't have to.
Casual sex may not be very emotionally fulfilling but there is no reason not to gain new expereinces.

snowy · 03-07-2005, 10:16 AM

Oh boy...I was celibate for nearly a year (completely not on purpose) until a friend and I fell into bed.

I would really urge you, doncalypso, to evaluate all of your sexual options when the time comes. I had no idea my friend wanted to get it on casually. Now we have a casual but monogamous sexual relationship in addition to our friendship. Sure, sometimes it gets a little complicated, but at least I'm not celibate!

doncalypso · 03-07-2005, 10:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by onesnowyowl

Oh boy...I was celibate for nearly a year (completely not on purpose) until a friend and I fell into bed.

I would really urge you, doncalypso, to evaluate all of your sexual options when the time comes. I had no idea my friend wanted to get it on casually. Now we have a casual but monogamous sexual relationship in addition to our friendship. Sure, sometimes it gets a little complicated, but at least I'm not celibate!

I have never had the luck and privilege to enjoy a casual sexual relationship and I wouldn't have the slightest clue as to where to begin to achieve one. All the women I know (except my girlfriend, of course) either run away because they find I'm too desperately craving female attention and sex or else they put me in the "friend" category. Once a woman considers you a "friend" it means that 99.99999999999% of the time you stant no chance of ever getting laid with her.

If you don't believe my last statement check out the Ladder Theory and then reflect upon it to see if it's not true.

snowy · 03-07-2005, 10:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by doncalypso

I have never had the luck and privilege to enjoy a casual sexual relationship and I wouldn't have the slightest clue as to where to begin to achieve one. All the women I know (except my girlfriend, of course) either run away because they find I'm too desperately craving female attention and sex or else they put me in the "friend" category. Once a woman considers you a "friend" it means that 99.99999999999% of the time you stant no chance of ever getting laid with her.

If you don't believe my last statement check out the Ladder Theory and then reflect upon it to see if it's not true.

Oh, I am very aware of the ladder theory. But just because a girl put you in the friend category eventually doesn't mean she didn't think of you sexually at one time. So you may still be in luck.

doncalypso · 03-07-2005, 10:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by onesnowyowl

Oh, I am very aware of the ladder theory. But just because a girl put you in the friend category eventually doesn't mean she didn't think of you sexually at one time. So you may still be in luck.

Becoming a woman's cuddle bitch is not my idea of luck.

snowy · 03-07-2005, 11:01 AM

Hey now. Not all women are interested in cuddling. In fact, some of us dislike it intensely. You should know better than to make any assumption regarding a woman.

Coppertop · 03-07-2005, 11:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by doncalypso

What were the circumstances that lead to your five years of celibacy?

During that time did you go without masturbation? Did being celibate drive you to the brink of insanity?

The circumstances? Uh, I couldn't seem to get any. Well, that's not true. I was hit on but it was from a friend's girl, so that was a no-no. I guess you could say I never was the type to pursue women relentlessly. If it happened, great - if it didn't, life goes on.

Did I go 5 years without rubbing them out? Hells no. If I go a week without an O I am a mess.

As far as celibacy driving me mad, no it didn't, but I did develop a rather... bitter attitude regarding womankind towards the end of that timeframe. But I'm better now.

doncalypso · 03-07-2005, 11:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by onesnowyowl

Hey now. Not all women are interested in cuddling. In fact, some of us dislike it intensely. You should know better than to make any assumption regarding a woman.

I'm not saying all women want to cuddle all the time. What I mean to say is I don't want to be used as a shoulder to cry on and a confidant by a woman who's gonna be fucking some unemployed alcoholic loser and never even consider me as a potential bed-buddy when she goes and gives it to a bunch of rotten bastards who don't even deserve to have any woman give them the time of day to begin with.

You misread my words.

doncalypso · 03-07-2005, 11:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Coppertop

The circumstances? Uh, I couldn't seem to get any. Well, that's not true. I was hit on but it was from a friend's girl, so that was a no-no. I guess you could say I never was the type to pursue women relentlessly. If it happened, great - if it didn't, life goes on.

Did I go 5 years without rubbing them out? Hells no. If I go a week without an O I am a mess.

As far as celibacy driving me mad, no it didn't, but I did develop a rather... bitter attitude towards womankind towards the end of that timeframe. But I'm better now.

So I take it that La Poñeta got one hell of an ongoing workout for that five years, eh? Well, as far as I'm concerned, La Poñeta has taken on so much mileage that it is time to put the damned thing to retirement.

While I understand many people's view that masturbation is a normal practice that one shouldn't be ashamed of, I'd feel that it is an insult to my manhood when I'm so lame that I can't get any sex unless I were to pay for it and would have to resort to jerking off to get my rocks off.
I don't know about the rest of you guys and girls on TFP, but I am from the Caribbean and I grew up in West Africa. Both places have very deeply-rooted machismo cultures that I do not expect non-African and non-Caribbean TFP members to understand. Suffice it to say, if you can't get laid no matter how hard you try in any Caribbean or African culture it is a very bad thing. It's all cool if you remain sexless by choice, but if you can't get laid because you lack "game" and can't attract female sexual attention then you are considered to be less than a man.

toxic515 · 03-07-2005, 04:02 PM

seems a rather pointless denial of pleasure to me... As a married man, disease is not an issue, nor is it with masturbation. To see if I could, yes, I suppose, but I don't care to do that, again, because it's pointless to me. If I were away from my spouse and in a position where masturbating would be embarrassing, or otherwise impractical, then I could certainly live without it. But choose to??? nah.

doncalypso · 03-17-2005, 08:07 AM

I'm bumping this thread back up to the top so people can discuss some more. So sue me...

View Poll Results: Could you handle abstaining from sex and masturbation indefinitely?
Yes I think I could handle that with relative ease	16	13.01%
I may be able to give up sex but I couldn't give up masturbation	62	50.41%
There's no way I could give up sex... I could give up masturbation but I have to have me some sex	41	33.33%
I could give up sex and masturbation... but I could never give up pornography	4	3.25%
Voters: 123. You may not vote on this poll

03-05-2005, 07:45 PM	#1 (permalink)
doncalypso TFP Mad Scientist Location: Philadelphia, PA	Views on celibacy Hey everyone, I would like to know what you guys all think about celibacy and whether you could see yourself willingly being celibate for an indefinite amount of time. By celibacy I don't just mean abstention from sexual intercourse but also abstention from oral sex, anal sex, masturbation, and watching pornographic material. Three years ago I went totally celibate for two whole months (I beat Josh Hartnett's character in Forty Days & Forty Nights by a whole 20 days). I didn't have sex, didn't masturbate, and I even abstained from watching porn. Needless to say it was very difficult and painful. Fast-forward to today and I find myself unable to think of anything other than the fact that graduation is coming up soon and I will probably end up single for the next five to six years. My girlfriend and I will not be continuing our relationship past graduation because our lives are heading in totally different directions. Add to this the fact that I will be going for a master's degree in either Biology, Biochemistry & Molecular Bio, or Biotechnology so I will be way too busy to date during my graduate studies. If being single was the only issue it wouldn't bother me so much, but I have a ravenous appetite for sex, and one thing I've learned from experience is that women are turned off by guys who have excessive sexual desires and are desperate for female attention---no matter how you behave they will sense it if you're excessively horny and will run in the opposite direction as soon as you approach. Therefore, it is likely that I will be spending the next decade as a desperate horny celibate guy. I endured two months of celibacy because I wanted to test myself to see how long I could last without masturbating. But I do not look forward to the next five to six years without sex and I do not want to be limited to masturbation or prostitutes for satisfying my sexual desires. So tell me... how would you handle it if you were put in a situation where you had to go without sex for an indefinite amount of time? Would you go crazy? Would you masturbate constantly? What would you do? __________________ Doncalypso... the one and only Haitian Sensation

03-05-2005, 07:49 PM	#2 (permalink)
Sage hoarding all the big girl panties since 2005 Location: North side	Why in God's name would you think you couldn't have sex for five or six years??? I mean, it's a master's degree, not a monkhood... and no offense to those of you who oppose casual sex, but it's not like you have to be glued to a woman's side to have sex with her. My two cents is, for the love of god don't write off your sexuality for six whole years for the sake of a bigger paycheck. So, what would I do? Not get into that situation in the first place- life is too short! __________________ Sage knows our mythic history, King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc's She answers hard acrostics, has a pretty taste for paradox She quotes in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus In conics she can floor peculiarities parabolous -C'hi

03-05-2005, 08:13 PM	#4 (permalink)
greeneyes Insane Location: Charlotte, NC	You know, I don't think the last option on the poll makes any sense. How can you give up sex and masturbation but not pornography? Wouldn't that just be torturing yourself? __________________ Put the blame on me So you don't feel a thing Go on and save yourself Take it out on me

03-05-2005, 08:22 PM	#5 (permalink)
gar1976 Custom User Title Location: Lurking. Under the desk.	Give me some poonanny. Both my wife and I agree - if we weren't together, we'd be hitting the local dive bars twice a week. __________________ Blistex, in regards to crappy games - They made pong look like a story driven RPG with a dynamic campaign.

03-05-2005, 07:59 PM	#3 (permalink)
Martel Insane Location: Sage's bed	If you tell yourself you're not going to be able to have sex for the next six years, you probably won't. If you go into it open-mindedly, who knows what will happen? Just let whatever happens happen. What drives women away is trying to make something happen that isn't happening naturally. Remember, women are just as horny as you are, and occasionally they like to have sex too (gasp!).

03-05-2005, 08:28 PM	#6 (permalink)
kramus loving the curves Location: my Lady's manor	Don't "give up" anything. I am in an interegnum right now and I am just going to go with it until something changes. There is absolutely no need to make statements or take a stance or even get too bent over what might be/not be. For all you know you will go out for a coffee and wind up doing marathon-man shag sessions with the caffiene-freak hottie who served you your latte with a warm, wet smile ... Or not. BTW I didn't see my option in your poll so I have to pass on doing the clickie thing. __________________ And now to disengage the clutch of the forebrain ... I'm going with this - if you like artwork visit http://markfineart.ca

03-05-2005, 08:30 PM	#7 (permalink)
Irishsean edited for content Location: Austin, TX	Wheres the 'I'm not giving up either!" option? __________________ There are no absolute rules of conduct, either in peace or war. Everything depends on circumstances. Leon Trotsky

03-05-2005, 08:51 PM	#11 (permalink)
martinguerre whosoever Location: New England	celibacy has to have a purpose, IMO, to make sense. i don't feel i'm called to such a thing...and i certainly don't see not currently being in a relationship as "celibacy." i just don't see any of this making sense. you're seen as too eager for sex, but are giving up self-love. you want a relationship, but you categorically insist that women won't appriciate you. IMHO, in this case considering celibacy is not moving forward... __________________ For God so loved creation, that God sent God's only Son that whosoever believed should not perish, but have everlasting life. -John 3:16

03-05-2005, 10:11 PM	#12 (permalink)
Gilda 32 flavors and then some Location: Out on a wire.	Being a young woman who is relatively attractive--not gorgeous, but not bad--I'm pretty much in a place where celibacy would have to be by choice. I picked "give up sex, but not masturbation", but really, if I wern't in a committed relationship right now, I'd be out looking for some lucky lady to share the night with, or in a pinch, a fella in need of sexual release on whom to practice my oral technique.

03-05-2005, 10:46 PM	#13 (permalink)
Kalnaur Psycho Location: Portland, Oregon	Ok, first, picked that I would need sex, but not masturbation. Second, why is it that you think women keep running from you when you want sex? To be quite frank, it sounds like there may be problems with you, not how you feel. Perhaps you come on too strong, or maybe you pick shy girls who only want to take it slow or "be friends". Perhaps take some time to reflect on how you've struck out in the past when you've been hankering for sex. In this way you should be able to find a way to "get some". Good luck and God's speed. __________________ PC: Can you help me out here HK? HK-47: I'm 98% percent sure this miniature organic meatbag wants you to help find his fellow miniature organic meatbags. PC: And the other 2 percent? HK-47: The other 2 percent is that he is just looking for trouble and needs to be blasted, but that might be wishful thinking on my part.

03-06-2005, 02:21 AM	#15 (permalink)
bad jane Insane	i'm with everyone else, don't write off sex just cause you think you'll be busy in school. plenty of us have been to college (some going on to get masters and doctorates) and i think it is safe to say, the majority of us didn't have to give up sex to graduate. there will be lots of opportunities to meet girls when you are in school. they will be everywhere. and unless you go to a very strict school, it's pretty tough to make it all the way through without attending any social functions. as for girls being turned off by horny guys... wow. that is a new one on me--particularly when discussing college students! you may not find the love of your life, or have a long-term relationship while in school, but i wouldn't say you won't be having sex.

03-06-2005, 08:37 AM	#17 (permalink)
Sage hoarding all the big girl panties since 2005 Location: North side	Doncalypso, based on what you've written when you were expounding on your ideas, I say you have some underlying self-esteem issues that need to be dealt with first before you run around saying there's no way you're gonna have sex for the next six years. Get thee to a thearaipst! __________________ Sage knows our mythic history, King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc's She answers hard acrostics, has a pretty taste for paradox She quotes in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus In conics she can floor peculiarities parabolous -C'hi

03-06-2005, 08:54 AM	#18 (permalink)
Halx Please touch this. Owner/Admin Location: Manhattan	Celibacy, to me, is something I'd only do if I wanted to test myself. I would never give up sexual pleasure for any other reason than to test my own self control. Of course, I would probably fail. __________________ You have found this post informative. -The Administrator [Don't Feed The Animals]

03-06-2005, 09:00 AM	#19 (permalink)
wolf Ravenous Location: Right Behind You	Is there a "Please just blow my head off with a shotgun" choice? __________________ Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as Gods. Cats have never forgotten this.

03-06-2005, 01:37 PM	#23 (permalink)
insidious_machinae Psycho	This message has been deleted. Last edited by insidious_machinae; 03-20-2010 at 10:25 AM..

03-06-2005, 10:16 AM	#20 (permalink)
degrawj I'm still waiting... Location: West Linn, OR	i could never ever live without masturbation. ever. sex, i could possibly live without, but that would be really tough. all i can say is that it's a good thing i don't ever plan on becoming a Buddhist monk. :-)

03-06-2005, 10:21 AM	#21 (permalink)
doncalypso TFP Mad Scientist Location: Philadelphia, PA	First of all I would like to thank those of you who have replied and I thank you for being willing to share your opinions without resorting to insults or demeaning comments. As Sage put it, maybe I really do have some self-esteem issues to work on, and maybe I do need therapy. But one thing about this whole situation in my head that's bothering me is the fact that here I am worrying about not getting any sex or dating for the next six years when I have more urgent and pressing matters to worry and focus on. Right now I should be worrying about finishing my honors project for my Histology (senior-level biology course) class on time... I should be spending more time planning out how to divide my time wisely to finish this Electron Microscopy project I've been procrastinating on... I should be planning out where to put my belongings in storage while I fly back to my home country to get a new student visa for grad school... I should be worried about whether I'll be able to find an apartment that's close enough to my school when I go to grad school since I do not have my own means of transportation... I have all these important things I should be focused on, but yet here I am worried that I won't be getting any sex while I'm in grad school when graduation is less than two months away. I guess Sigmund Freud would have had one hell of a field day with me if he got to have me as a patient for psychoanalysis. __________________ Doncalypso... the one and only Haitian Sensation

03-06-2005, 02:57 PM	#24 (permalink)
Coppertop Getting Medieval on your ass Location: 13th century Europe	I went 5 years without getting any, from age 19-24. But it wasn't on purpose. And yes, it sucked.

03-06-2005, 03:34 PM	#25 (permalink)
Willravel ... a sort of licensed troubleshooter.	I am a firm believer in celebacy. I've had two close friends die from AIDS. Learn to control yourself and protect youself or face a terrible price. How can you aviod AIDS with certianty? Celebacy. Barring some impossible infection from sharing blood (which none of us do, because hospitals throw out needles, and shared neeedles are assiciated with illegal drugs, which we don't use), the only way to get AIDS is either during conception or sex. Control it or put it away until you can. As I am corrently married, I suppose I could go for maybe a year without sex, but it would be the worst year of my life. I am madly in love with my wife and she is the most beautiful and sexy woman in the world. Being without her physical love would be like living without being able to hear music or see art or taste food; her presence is a necessity in my sanity. I don't know how I got along before I met her.

03-06-2005, 05:09 PM	#26 (permalink)
Grasshopper Green ...is a comical chap Location: Where morons reign supreme	I've been through long periods of no sex when hubby went on military deployments, his longest being 9 months. Not fun, but I could do it again if I had to. I didn't give up masturbation though, and if I were to become celibate again, I wouldn't give it up then either. __________________ "They say that patriotism is the last refuge to which a scoundrel clings; steal a little and they throw you in jail, steal a lot and they make you king" Formerly Medusa

03-06-2005, 10:35 PM	#27 (permalink)
Pax131 Upright Location: Arcata, California	I don't know if it's just me but something about this "women are turned off by horniness" just dosn't add up. Just watch a woman having an earth-shattering orgasm. I don't know where they go when their eyes roll back in their head but I do know that a guy who isn't feeling horny sure aint going to get them there. I believe it's all about how you let your horniness come out- giving off a vibe that says you're ready to have a good time will probably attract more attention than one that makes it seem like you're despirately hoping to get laid. As for the celibacy bit, the thought would never cross my mind. Not for school, not for work, not for money. There's no satisfaction that comes from a job well done that can compare to the kind radiated by a woman who has been thoroughly pleased. Maybe I have a warped, delusional world view but that's my two cents.

03-07-2005, 12:17 AM	#28 (permalink)
Sweetpea Fade out Location: in love	I could never give up sex or masturbation . . . I couldn't exist without it . . . heck, i can't even for two days without it . . . it's a connection to life, i am a passionate person, that manifests itself in all areas of my life, including sex . . . sexuality is part of connection . . . whether it's by yourself masturbating or intimacy with someone . . . it's important and healthy. that being said . . . If you want to go for it and you think it will make you happier, then i support you Sweetpea __________________ Having a Pet Will Change Your Life! Looking for a great pet?! Click Here! "I am the Type of Person Who Can Get Away With A lot, Simply Because I Don't Ask Permission for the Privilege of Being Myself"

03-07-2005, 06:30 AM	#30 (permalink)
Cervantes Psycho Location: Above you	I'm sorry, none of the answers apply to me, I could probarbly give it up but there is no logical reason for me to do so. For what reason? For what purpose? It makes no sense to give it up if you don't have to. Casual sex may not be very emotionally fulfilling but there is no reason not to gain new expereinces. __________________ - "Philosophy is questions that may never be answered. Religion is answers that may never be questioned.." - "Religions take everything that your DNA naturally wants to do to survive and pro-create and makes it wrong." - "There is only one absolute truth and that is that there is only one absolute truth."

03-07-2005, 10:16 AM	#31 (permalink)
snowy Kick Ass Kunoichi Location: Oregon	Oh boy...I was celibate for nearly a year (completely not on purpose) until a friend and I fell into bed. I would really urge you, doncalypso, to evaluate all of your sexual options when the time comes. I had no idea my friend wanted to get it on casually. Now we have a casual but monogamous sexual relationship in addition to our friendship. Sure, sometimes it gets a little complicated, but at least I'm not celibate! __________________ If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

03-07-2005, 11:01 AM	#35 (permalink)
snowy Kick Ass Kunoichi Location: Oregon	Hey now. Not all women are interested in cuddling. In fact, some of us dislike it intensely. You should know better than to make any assumption regarding a woman. __________________ If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

03-07-2005, 04:02 PM	#39 (permalink)
toxic515 Addict Location: Texas	seems a rather pointless denial of pleasure to me... As a married man, disease is not an issue, nor is it with masturbation. To see if I could, yes, I suppose, but I don't care to do that, again, because it's pointless to me. If I were away from my spouse and in a position where masturbating would be embarrassing, or otherwise impractical, then I could certainly live without it. But choose to??? nah. __________________ Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.

03-17-2005, 08:07 AM	#40 (permalink)
doncalypso TFP Mad Scientist Location: Philadelphia, PA	I'm bumping this thread back up to the top so people can discuss some more. So sue me... __________________ Doncalypso... the one and only Haitian Sensation