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tres 02-23-2005 07:09 AM

Veiws on Inter-racial relationships
 
Do you think that white people should only date white people? and black only black?

What about White girl/black guy vs. white guy/black girl

I have a kinda twisted view on this.. I'm not predijuice at all.. but.. I when I see a black man walking down the street with a white girl (obviously in a relationship) it just does'nt seem right to me. However if it's a White guy with a black girl, it doesent bother me so much. What do you all think?

Charlatan 02-23-2005 07:21 AM

I think humanity should be beyond such questions... but sadly we aren't.

the_marq 02-23-2005 07:22 AM

This is a complete non-issue.

Glory's Sun 02-23-2005 07:24 AM

I'm still amazed at how these issues come up. Really, we're all human ..so that kinda nullifies the color of a person's skin.

Tres, just out of curiousity, what bothers you about a black man/white woman relationship?

FatherTed 02-23-2005 07:31 AM

I have a problem with some guys and some girls too.

When any guy is with a really good-looking girl - that upsets me, bigtime. Why him and not me??? :)

Color doesnt come into it though.

drakers 02-23-2005 07:34 AM

It's probably the view that black men are below white people and shouldn't be allowed to date white women. But white men can do what they want and date who they want. This is purely racial thought and someone having a problem with inter-racial dating probably has a past with their family on this issue. Either that they voice their opinion to their kids that they didn't approve of it, something to that extent. Anyways, my view is that any human being can date any human being (being of legal age of course) because we all are the same species. Anyone who has a problem with this issue needs serious counseling in todays world; because simply put by "the_marq": this is a complete non-issue.

tres 02-23-2005 07:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by guccilvr
I'm still amazed at how these issues come up. Really, we're all human ..so that kinda nullifies the color of a person's skin.

Tres, just out of curiousity, what bothers you about a black man/white woman relationship?

Let me re-iterate.. its not a prejidicial issue.. I have many close friends that are races other than mine..I'm not quite sure exactly what it is. I don't think lesser of them, or think they should be bashed in anyway.. but..hmm..hard to explain, kinda why I wanted other peoples input.. IMO people are still allowed to date whom even they want.. I don't think white people can do any less than or more than a black person.. I don't think less of the couple, if they are happy then great.. It's not my business, I was hoping to get inside as to why I feel this way. My dad is black and my mom is white.. so. believe me, I don't wanna get bashed for being Prejidice because I'm not..

ShaniFaye 02-23-2005 07:42 AM

Race relationships, as well as gender same relationships, is a non issue for me, a person should be with whomever makes them happy.

Yakk 02-23-2005 07:43 AM

People with a more varied racial background have an interesting appearance. So, I'm all in favour of inter-racial relationships, so when I'm old, there will be more interesting young'uns to look at!

I'm just greedy that way. =)

But seriously, this really isn't an issue for me. People who consider something as shallow as skin colour to be actually important are ridiculous.

tres 02-23-2005 07:44 AM

well.. aparently I'm just f**ked up.. and Should not have posted a thread for this.. so.. i'm gonna chalk this up to me being a retard..and let it go..with my apologies...

Averett 02-23-2005 07:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tres
I don't wanna get bashed for being Prejidice because I'm not..

Each and every last one of us has some prejidice inside. All of us. It's human nature. But don't worry, I sure won't bash anyone for it.

Why do you feel this way? Who knows. Inter racial relationships don't bother me. My college roommate dated a black guy for 4 years, then dated another for awhile. Did I think it was weird? Nah, I didn't care.

I'm not bothered when I see inter racial couples. I think it's more common to see a black man and white woman. That's what I've seen more of. There have been times when I'll see the opposite and do a little mental "ah, cool" or some such, and go about my way.


Like others said, this should be a non issue. It's a non issue for me, and it should be for others. But I don't think that it'll ever go away.

Rlyss 02-23-2005 08:01 AM

I don't think it's an issue, but I do find it interesting that some people instantly see an interratial couple as more sexual than emotion. When someone sees a white guy with an Asian girl, for example, they think he's got a thing for Asian women, or if they see a black man with a white woman, they think she's got some preference for black men. I've seen and heard this time and time again, and it's usually with a white male/Asian female couple (as discussed in that previous, very interesting thread), where the male is instantly thought to have some fetish. That doesn't happen with white male/white female couple, sexuality doesn't seem to come into it as readily. This is just what I've seen and heard.

Glory's Sun 02-23-2005 08:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tres
well.. aparently I'm just f**ked up.. and Should not have posted a thread for this.. so.. i'm gonna chalk this up to me being a retard..and let it go..with my apologies...


nobody is bashing you. I wasn't bashing you. I was just curious if there was a certain reason you felt that way. After reading your later posts I see that you're unsure why you feel this way. As Averett said everyone has some sort of prejudice in them. I'm not saying you are by any means. I wonder if you feel that way because you've had issues with your own family or if you're just greedy and you want a chance at the girl :D Either way, if you figure it out let us know

nowthen 02-23-2005 08:12 AM

I find it interesting that couple of mixed *colour* from the same country, hell, probably even the same town, are considered a "mixed race" in this day and age.

my marriage i would consider MIXED RACE because i am from the UK and i married a girl from Panama, therefore, yes, it was the coming together of two different races of people, two different cultures.

but i would say now that most blacks in the US are just as much "American" as a white person, so I dont see where the race distinction comes in????

StanT 02-23-2005 08:32 AM

As long as they are consenting adults, I'm not sure why I'd care.

ShaniFaye 02-23-2005 08:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by guccilvr
nobody is bashing you. I wasn't bashing you. I was just curious if there was a certain reason you felt that way. After reading your later posts I see that you're unsure why you feel this way. As Averett said everyone has some sort of prejudice in them. I'm not saying you are by any means. I wonder if you feel that way because you've had issues with your own family or if you're just greedy and you want a chance at the girl :D Either way, if you figure it out let us know


I have extreme prejudice against stupid people, I admit it, I dont care what color they are

Bill O'Rights 02-23-2005 08:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Averett
Like others said, this should be a non issue. It's a non issue for me, and it should be for others. But I don't think that it'll ever go away.

I believe that race relations are improving with each successive generation. In time, it will go away. By the time that your grandchildren are ready to date...it truly will be a "non-issue".

hambone 02-23-2005 09:44 AM

This actually makes me smile. I love seeing interracial couples. It just goes to show that when people love each other they are able to overcome some of the boundaries that are set by society.

Just my opinion. :thumbsup:

Averett 02-23-2005 10:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bill O'Rights
I believe that race relations are improving with each successive generation. In time, it will go away. By the time that your grandchildren are ready to date...it truly will be a "non-issue".

Here's hoping :)

Bill O'Rights 02-23-2005 10:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Averett
Here's hoping :)

Well, think about it. My mother grew up in Florida in the 50s. Back when segregation was the norm. My father brought her back to Pennsylvania to live after they married. She was horrified the first time a "negro" sat down at the same lunch counter in J.J. Newberry's. Was my mother racist? You better believe it! She easily could've raised me to be a little Ku Kluxer. But, to her credit, she did not. My perception of race is a world apart from hers. Given enough time, and understanding, I fully believe that we, as a species, will achieve racial harmony. Maybe not in my lifetime...but I'd say within another 3 generations or so.

Averett 02-23-2005 10:40 AM

Oh I agree with you that things have gotten much better than where we used to be. But I don't know that we'll ever view eachother as equal. Humans are always trying to see the differences in eachother. I think it's part of our genetic make up. I just hope that we can some day see our differences but realize that they don't mean a damn thing.

pocon1 02-23-2005 10:41 AM

I think I understand where Tres is coming from. I admit it, when I see a black man and a white woman, a little voice asks "is he dating her because he likes her, or does he have just want to check off the white box? Does he not date black women at all, or is this a "real" relationship?" Of course, this is none of my business and I will not know the answer, so I shrug it off and go about my business. But I am interested in the motivations about why people get together. Are they shallow or deep, or somewhere in between? I guess the same thing could be said about only dating pretty girls. Whats wrong with girls who are only average in looks? What caused the initial attraction? Appearance has a lot to do with it.

Coppertop 02-23-2005 10:43 AM

We're all the same color under the sheets at night.

Rinndalir 02-23-2005 11:16 AM

Been there, done it (white guy/black girl), would do it again - hypothetically since I'm married now. I have known alot of interracial couples, some were doing it to get the notch in the bedpost then never again, some had a fetish or obsession with a certain race (white girl who was convinced black guys were better in the sack, black guy who would only date Asian chicks, etc), but most ended up that way because they liked a person who happened to be a different race from them.

Cervantes 02-23-2005 11:40 AM

I don't see what the issue is. One human falls in love with another human, they get into a relationship and maybe create more humans. Does it matter what skincolour you have or where you are from?? Not to me.

wnker85 02-23-2005 12:04 PM

Don't feel bad tres I'm pretty sure i would be disowned at least behind my back if I was in an interracial relationship. I know my dad would have a cow, but I think he would get over it. The extended family would hold it against me.

But, I find all women attracitve and who knows where I'll end up. It just pains me to see my family this way.

Lockjaw 02-23-2005 12:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nowthen
I find it interesting that couple of mixed *colour* from the same country, hell, probably even the same town, are considered a "mixed race" in this day and age.

my marriage i would consider MIXED RACE because i am from the UK and i married a girl from Panama, therefore, yes, it was the coming together of two different races of people, two different cultures.

but i would say now that most blacks in the US are just as much "American" as a white person, so I dont see where the race distinction comes in????

That's becaue the cultures in America are still divergent enough that it's very evident and is a mixed race. The average black person will have different key experiences growing up than a white person will and an Asian or Latino person will have even more differences. I'm black and I'm dating a girl from Mexico and in the past have dated an Asian girl. We are close enough culturally that we were compatible for dating but at the same time there were things about their cultures they exposed me to that are most assuredly different from what I was considering the norm and I did the same for them.

And frankly I don't think it should be an issue concerning whether or not a couple should be together however it IS important as many people are sexually attracted to different things. One of my friends(black)dates mostly blondes. Now it's not like he descriminates against those of other races but when initital attraction sets in and he's scoping somebody from across the room the blonde will catch his eye first. Just as I've never dated a white girl because while I can appreciate their beauty I typically won't go for their looks as quickly as a black female. Just what I'm attracted to. Everybody has little things here and there that they like or find attractive and I don't think it's a fetish either.

guthmund 02-23-2005 02:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Averett
Oh I agree with you that things have gotten much better than where we used to be. But I don't know that we'll ever view eachother as equal. Humans are always trying to see the differences in eachother. I think it's part of our genetic make up.

As much as I want to believe that in the future the human race we will be beyond this kind of crap, it hasn't happened yet.

We've replaced one unfounded prejudice with another unfounded prejudice. So, while we might be past the whole color/race 'thing' in three generations, some other arbitrary difference will just take it's place.

I have high hopes, however, that maybe this won't be the case.

Halx 02-23-2005 02:44 PM

I will make one statement..

some of the most astoundingly attractive people I know are the result of a mixed 'race' union. It goes to prove that life encourages the mixture of all it's compatible entities.

Meier_Link 02-23-2005 02:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FatherTed
I have a problem with some guys and some girls too.

When any guy is with a really good-looking girl - that upsets me, bigtime. Why him and not me??? :)

Color doesnt come into it though.

I'm going to have to go with FatherTed on this one. Actually though, I think that it's more if I see an ugly dude with a good looking girl it upsets me.... It's like, I want a chick like that, and I'm not even ugly.

Thom_Masters 02-27-2005 10:34 PM

95% of you are lying, giving conditioned responses.

What I don't understand is why? If you aren't going to be truthful about it, why post? He was looking for some honest opinions, not cookie cutter scripted responses.

I think different races are what makes the world go round. And no, I do not like to see different races mating.

docbungle 02-27-2005 10:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Thom_Masters
95% of you are lying, giving conditioned responses.

What I don't understand is why? If you aren't going to be truthful about it, why post? He was looking for some honest opinions, not cookie cutter scripted responses.

I think different races are what makes the world go round. And no, I do not like to see different races mating.

You're talking out of your butt. Just because people are not so narrow-minded as to be racially biased, does not make them liars. My view is different than yours so I'm lying? Very thoughtfull.

slimsam1 02-27-2005 10:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Thom_Masters
95% of you are lying, giving conditioned responses.

What I don't understand is why? If you aren't going to be truthful about it, why post? He was looking for some honest opinions, not cookie cutter scripted responses.

I think different races are what makes the world go round. And no, I do not like to see different races mating.

It's bold of you to accuse the previous posters like that. No matter how much the idea bugs you, it doesn't necessarily bother other people.

I dated a girl out of my race (whatever my race is), and it's not only OK, it's interesting because you get to learn about your partner's background and culture.

It's rare that I see a black man with a woman of another race where I live, but when I do they get a silent applause in my mind for saying "nanny-nanny-boo-boo" to the taboo.

martinguerre 02-27-2005 11:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Thom_Masters
95% of you are lying, giving conditioned responses.

What I don't understand is why? If you aren't going to be truthful about it, why post? He was looking for some honest opinions, not cookie cutter scripted responses.

I think different races are what makes the world go round. And no, I do not like to see different races mating.

yuck...that's all i really have to say. i've dated inter-racially before, and it was the least of the issues involved in each of the relationships. getting looks for it was stressful, and i really learned to appriciate what white priviledge is, and how quickly it can be revoked.

Rinndalir 02-28-2005 06:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Thom_Masters
95% of you are lying, giving conditioned responses.

Nope sorry, got 5 years worth of pictures to prove it too. After the initial OMG its a white guy/black girl thing from the families, which they never really got over but just learned to live with it (actually with her family the issue was more I was from a poor family than I was white, they were very wealthy and I guess thought I was a gold digger), we were like any other couple.

Quote:

I think different races are what makes the world go round. And no, I do not like to see different races mating.
Well that's too bad for you, because even here in the deep south you see more and more of it

Glory's Sun 02-28-2005 08:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Thom_Masters
95% of you are lying, giving conditioned responses.

What I don't understand is why? If you aren't going to be truthful about it, why post? He was looking for some honest opinions, not cookie cutter scripted responses.

I think different races are what makes the world go round. And no, I do not like to see different races mating.


ok here's the deal.. I post what I feel and what I think..if it's cookie cutter to you then don't eat the cookies.. just ignore it. I have no problem with interracial relationships...that's why I posted what I did. The only thing I see worth while in your post is that you were honest in your final statement. Seriously though, don't call people out (95%) when you don't know them or how they feel.

ShaniFaye 02-28-2005 08:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Thom_Masters
95% of you are lying, giving conditioned responses.

What I don't understand is why? If you aren't going to be truthful about it, why post? He was looking for some honest opinions, not cookie cutter scripted responses.

I think different races are what makes the world go round. And no, I do not like to see different races mating.


unless there are people in this thread that you actually know in real life, I dont think you have any right to speak for any of us

sillygirl 02-28-2005 08:53 AM

I'm a white girl dating a mexican guy. Do I get uncomfortable when people stare or stutter when we confirm that yes, we are together? Not after the first couple of times. I was raised that whites date whites, blacks date blacks, mexicans date mexicans. I always thought it was a stupid thing. I constantly got the 'you marry who you date' spiel, and was told that dating out of my race wasn't supposed to happen.

You know what? I am madly, deeply, truly, wholeheartedly in love.

I also agree with what was said about learning about the background too. He was born in Oaxaca, his parents grew up in different cities in Mexico, and I've learned so much and been exposed to so many interesting new things. It's wonderful what people have to share when you look at them as PEOPLE, not as a COLOR.

raveneye 02-28-2005 09:07 AM

The only thing that bugs me is that some people insist on racially categorizing everybody, as if everybody had to be pigeonholed into a little box based on their skin color and a few other superficialities.

My daughter goes to a school on whose website it says that 90% of the students are "black" and 10% are "hispanic". When I visit her school what I see is that about 90% of the kids are clearly of mixed ancestry. There is no way in hell that I would presume to guess which pigeon hole to stick them in. As far as I'm concerned, they're all human beings.

I've lived in racially mixed neighborhoods all my life (Hawaii, Vancouver, Miami). In Hawaii it is not uncommon for a high school kid to have four grandparents from four different continents. On my block here in a Miami suburb there are 5 different languages spoken by parents (english, spanish, creole, french, german, chinese), but all the kids speak english, watch the same TV shows, go to the same school, play on the same sports teams, play in the same bands, want the same stuff for christmas. One of my daughter's best friends has a Chinese mother and a Haitian father.

The whole concept of "race" in the U.S. is becoming increasingly arbitrary. Where do you draw the line?

I'd rather not draw it at all. For me it's totally a non-issue.

NCB 02-28-2005 10:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Charlatan
I think humanity should be beyond such questions... but sadly we aren't.

I agree up to a point. I think that most of white America is beyond that. Black America is getting close (Yes, I feel that black America still has distrust, both warranted and unwarranted, towards white America and that in turn leads to racism).

However, I feel that classism has replaced racism in America. I believe that more people would have a problem with a poor, ghetto raised black man dating a white woman than a middle class, well educated black man dating a white women.


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