How often do you have sex?
 

How often do you all have sex?

I'm interested to see how often married people have sex. Everyone says it slows down alot once you get married. How many times is average?

Me and my wife have a young child, but I would say that we probably have sex about 2-3 times a week. I think we are around the average, sometimes we will be a little above that mark but I think we at the average. So I'm not complaining at all.

not married yet (7 months to go), but have lived together for 1 1/2 years, but we engage in some form of sexual activity about 4 times a week

Hello,

While talking about another issue, I referenced this survey by Durex, which has some stats on frequency of sex.

Durex link

been together 5 years now (some may say might as well be married)....and I'm looking at about once a month. That's not by my choice though......just the gf has no interest what-so-ever. This is a definite decline though from when we first started dating.

...and yes I do accept pity!.....haha

it varies. sometimes we go for weeks without. then sometimes, once or twice a night for a week straight.

it could be a hormonal thing.

ebbs and flows. we have been married for a little over year, and together for more than 3 years. we seem to have a pretty good natural rhythm in our sex life, in that sometimes we have sex everyday, sometimes twice a week, but we always have ENOUGH sex, and it is always very high quality.

what i will say, is that we have a very very good relationship that sex is only part of. we do a lot of other things such as eating out, weekends away, going out drinking / casino nights, shopping together, hell just sitting around talking about things until 3 in the morning. what i am trying to say is dont confuse frequency of sex with intimacy, its only a small part of what makes up this interesting road of living your life jointly with another person... i think to assess a marriage, or your marriage, you have to look at the whole package.

if your SO has no interest in sex, TAKE HER OFF OF BIRTH CONTROL FOR A WHILE! geez, you guys, you're SUPPOSED to be shagging your brains out while you're young!

anyway... oh... four times a week engaging in sexual activity is pretty normal for me and Martel. sometimes more, sometimes less, but we always make sure it's fun and loving! suscribing to porn-by-mail helps too! :)

very well said. and very true!

hmm...sure you don't know me?? lol... that exactly our problem..that god Da**D B/C patch... she used to be into it like... daily.. now..she wants it in her head, but can't get her body into it...

Married about 2 years.

Has gone down significantly, from 10-15 times a 7-day week to about twice every two weeks. I think it's been close to 2 weeks since the last time.

The progression is gradual. You may not detect it at first.

I don't have much sex, but the emotional bond is stronger by the day.

I've been living with my g/f for about 2.5 years or so. Long term relationship for sure. I think we average out to about 3-4 times a month right now. But like others said, that's just one part of the intimacy in a relationship.

Not enough. 1-2 times a week, married, 1 kid, both work full time with different schedules. We both want it more frequently, her probably even more than me, but its difficult to find the time.

My wife and I have been married for a little over 4 years. We no pattern or regularity to our sex life. Some months we may have sex 8 or 10 times, and others we may only have sex once or twice. Most of the time it's just spontaneous and depends on our moods and how tired we are.

Married 9 years (coming up on the ol' decade pretty fast there!) together for 13.

We probably have sex of some sort a couple times a week. When we first met it was an every-chance-we-get sort of thing, but we've mellowed.

Look, let me put this in perspective: When we met I was a 17-year-old college freshman. She was an 18-year-old college freshman. We don't do ANYTHING as much as we did back then, INCLUDING sex. ;)

well, since i'm single, and don't get out much, i have sex about once in a blue moon. with a g/f, it usually starts off with having sex everyday/every time we see each other, then drops to a couple times a week. i don't really know what "normal" would be considered. having too much sex is practically impossible, and not having enough sex is more of a personal/relationship issue where it will vary from person to person.

We probably average about 4 or 5 times a month. Been married about 12 years.

1-2 times per week... usually.

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Married ten years, dated for three before that. At least twice a week, regularly more than that. Our jar with the pennies or whatever they say about being married doesn't apply. I'm still VERY attracted sexually to my wife, and plan to be for the next 10 or 20.

I've been with my girlfriend for three years, four months, and five days now.... We don't live together and we're both seniors in college so we're too busy to have much sex nowadays. Add to this the fact that our schedules are totally different and she also has an off-campus job.

I think if on average we have sex twice a week we're very lucky.

Been with ktspktsp for going on 11 months now, and whenever we're around each other with any regularity (e.g. when we lived together for 5 months before he got a job), we had sex pretty much every night. It probably averaged out to 5-6 times a week. Now that we are three hours apart and only see each other on weekends, we still average about 5 times a week!! :D

But I guess this will decrease over time, as it seems that most long-term couples (married or not) experience this phenomenon. I enjoy all the sex that we do have right now, but I understand that with increasing obligations of work and/or family, we'll have to limit ourselves as time goes on.

I have a question for all you married folks, though: how often do you have quickies? ktsptktsp and I find that we can have pretty good sex in the span of a few minutes sometimes, which keeps us going when things are busy... but maybe this isn't practical with a family?

Birth control isn't always the culprit and going off of it isn't always the answer. I'm on birth control, I want sex daily and yet my significant other doesn't. So I guess my answer to the original question is: not often enough. :(

Wow, I love being young I guess, I would say at least 10 times a week. Sometimes more.

2~3 times a week here with my wife and I. Sometimes less sometimes more, so ya average. As a man I always want more and more... but my hands can take care of that problem!

my girlfriend and i have sex 3-4 times a week. i'm not sure how that ranges on the normality scale

it will be three years soon and now we have couple month old baby, so i would have to say no enough. she is still trying to get over that i dont look good after having the baby thing.

We've been together for a little over a year now and I'd say on average we have sex about 5 times a week. Except for when we are both really busy with classes and such then it goes down to about two times a week.

Married for almost 9 years and I would say we have sex about 3-4 times a week. That's when she's off birth control. On birth control it averages about 2-3 times a week.

1-2 times a day, unless one of us isn't feeling well.

My wife and I have been married for 10 years and were having sex for a year before that. When we are together it's 3-4 times a week. Right now we have spent 15 months apart and only see each other every 3 weeks (for a week at a time) and we go it at it like rabbits. :)

With my last girl, it was about 1-3 times a week depending on if we saw eachother on the weekend, but now that I'm single...ZIP!

I'm single now so the answer is as often as possible, though still not enough. If possible I would have sex at least once a day (usually more).

When I had a long term girlfriend I would often have sex once every other week or once a month. For some reason it just wasn't a big deal then, but I guess I have been sexually liberated now lol.

in the last 6 months since the baby was born, 2.5 times. It technically could be 3 but since she had to end it short before either of us could climax I consider it only a .5 time.

It's been almost 2 months since last now

that certainly puts alot of peoples frequency in perspective huh?

Lets see.. we've been together almost 10 years. 4 years dating 5 years married. During the first 4 years she would get bummed out if we didn't have sex at least 3 to 5 times a week. We got married and had a child right away. For the last 5 years I'm lucky if I get it once every month or two. :( We both work and now have 2 kids so a lot of it is a time issue. Plus she's had a hard time loosing the baby weight. She's not big, but not small either and it's something she's very self consious of. I tell her all the time I think she's sexy and beautiful, but until she can loose the weight I think it will always cause a problem.

Been married for 8 years. We have 4 children. As someone so eloquently put it. (ratbastid)...We don't do anything with the frequency we used to. I liked that, and it is so true.

It just depends on so many factors. I feel fortunate to have sex at all. It is just not easy to work 50+ hrs a week, take care of 4 kids, do projects on a 100 year old house, homeschool, plus all the other family obligations. Hell.. who has time for sex?

I think about it a lot more than I get to do it.

When it happens.. it happens.

To answer your question...some times twice a week. But most of the times once a week is the avg. lately.

It's all good!!

I'm single and not in any kind of committed relationship but even so I do pretty well--once a week or so. I have a regular lover and the two of us have lots of fun together. I'm very much into casual serial monogamy--meaning monogamous sexual relationships without any other strings attached. It's become quite handy as an outlet. I've got another possibility lined up if/when this one goes to the wayside.

I hate to be the first, perhaps only person to say this, but...

not often enough...

Not often enough. This is my fault of course because I'm the girl. :) I wish we had sex more then once a month. Although it can't be that bad, but it feels like a month. He's always ready to have sex, but I'm usually not in the mood.

I don't know, I guess I'm destined to not have sex often.

Before wife got pregnant and diagnosed with Placenta Previa, 4 to 5 times a week.

Since the diagnosis, nothing since last November

Been married for 10 years...together for 13...
Before our 2 year old was born...once a week...
Now it's 1-2 times per month..
Like most relationships early on it was daily...

time is a real issue and conflicting schedules...

wish it was more!

Prior to marriage - none (wife was a virgin)

First five years - 2 to 3 times a week

Six to ten years - 3 to 4 times a week

Ten years plus - 4 to 5 times a week

The statistics don't work in our case.

I see a lot of the married couples (aside from a few) who say it goes way down with kids. Aside from the first few months, when my wife was breastfeeding (as was I when I had the opportunity :crazy: ) and on a four hour sleep schedule, we're back where we were before the kids. We average 2-3 times per week, but we make it happen. The kids go to bed at 8 (they would stay up till 11 if we let them, they are 2 & 4). By 9 or 9:30 one of us puts on the music & lights the candles & maybe starts with a backrub. I guess I'm trying to say we make time for it. I could be doing a lot of other things but we make an effort to keep that part of our marriage going strong.

There was a question earlier about quickies, for us probably 3-5 quickies a month. Nothing better than getting a call at work to go home for lunch!

Awesome c172g, I love the idea of getting a call at work to go home for lunch! Anyone else out there find time to squeeze in a few quickies during the week, or does fatigue just totally take over?

I also love that you and your wife make such an effort to integrate regular sex into your marriage, even with kids. :thumbsup: The candles and music are cool ideas for making it more than just a quickie. I hope I can do the same, though I understand how hard it would be for some schedules.

We've been married for about 10 years now, and we have sex almost every night. Sometimes twice a day

we have been together for 9 months now, and live together, and we do it almost very day.

Guess I'm the odd one out here.

Been married for a year, and the frequency is about once a month....

We're working on that though.

Married 8 years, two to three times a week is our average.

Married 16 years, two kids, and we go at it 2-3 times a week.

Been with hubby 9 years, have a three year old and opposite work schedules and he's in college....so usually, once a week. We'd like more, but it usually isn't possible with our schedules.

we have been married only a few months, but the sex is almost nill due to the pregnancy... I don't think we'll have any troubles after she gives birth though...

been married twenty - i think one our little old lady aunts told me the following bit of wisdom at our wedding and I laughed (or maybe i've convinced myself that's where i heard it - cause i've heard it since ...) anyways she said, "honey, for the first year of your marriage put a penny in a jar everytime you have you have sex. Then after the first year, take one out every time." she said the jar will never be emptied. i never believed it would be true. but now sadly in down to about once a month or rather 10-12 per year ... sometimes going 2-3 months without.

I just wanted to add, our sex life is better than ever. There were times when we didn't have sex for months at a time. That was during our first years of marriage. Things have just gotten better as time has passed. She enjoys it now and she really didn't when we were first married. She was too much in her head. With age, she is more able to go with the pleasure, and forget about the politics.

Same for me. but my last girlfriend and i had sex about 3 or 4 times a week, school got in the way sometimes...

My love and I have been together for nearly three years. We both live at home with our parents (we're young 'uns!) but we still manage to have sex at least six times a week.

We've been married 3 years . . . sex is 5 times per week . . . :) In my opinion, one can never have enough sex . . . so i'd like it to be 7 days a week . . . :p


Sweetpea

Married 19 years, lived together 23 years. We get after it a couple times a week. It's been at that frequency our whole time together. It's all governed by her sex drive, not mine. I'd like to double it, but she doesn't. I've had too many hurtful rejections to try again.

Let's see, since 2000, when my wife and I made a decision to try to have sex as often as possible, we probably average 6 times a week (not counting the week of her period). Not bad for a couple of 40+ year olds. We just love to have sex. Prior to that, I think we averaged 2-3 times a week, maybe.

Been living with my SO for 3 1/2 years now. When neither of us is on our period, every Friday, Saturday (twice usually), and Sunday without exception, and ususally twice more during the week, for a total of 6 a week. We're both in our 20's, with no kids yet.

Almost-3-year relationship, and we're down to about 3 times a week (from a high of all the frickin' time).

That's just an average though, as what usualy happens is we'll have sex three or four times on a 24 hour period. And then nothing for a week or so. Hard to get the car started, but when it starts, whoa!

been with my fiancee for about a year and a half, mind you she lives on the other side of the world most of the time, but when we are together it's almost usually twice a day or more

**Update** Since my SO went off the patch and onto pills, she is hornier than ever. I do have a question though.. She started taking the pill the day she would normally have started the patch again.. Are we protected this month? or no?

glad to hear your update tres!

Not married.. young guy.. dating for a bit over a year.. twice a month.

*sigh*

right now, since my wife is pregnant, it depends on how she feels, but always atleast 2-3 times per week. some weeks more, some weeks less, but thats the average.

Yes, she should be.

Haven't had sex since early October 2004. Before that we averaged about 2-3 times a week after the first 6 months. Five-six times a week before that.

Thanks I was wondering if anyone was gonna answer that question :)

Damn... that how I feel already and Im only in a 2 1/2 year relationship.. except its a few times a month (maybe 2).

I know, that many couples have different temperaments. I also had low libido. And I found an way out this problem. I started to take Sentia pills and don’t remember a longer pause than a few days when I didn’t make love with my boyfriend. I think, that these pills certainly have something to do with it.

2-3 times a week on average... give or take. When the kids were very young it was less, when we have more time for ourselves, its a lot more.

Ebb and flow like everything else. Worst thing that can happen is not talking about things if needs change. Resentments can build on both sides. Sex is like any other part of marriage, sometimes it's great, sometimes it's so-so. Communication is the biggest part of keeping it good. :)

We've been married 20 years and have two teen-aged daughters. The past year we have averaged about 3 times a month but things are slowing down from that frequency lately (like 5 times since the first of the year). It is always a Fri., Sat. or Sun. night. Our weekday schedules don't mesh very well. My wife goes to bed at 9:00-9:30, which is a little early for me but even if I went to bed then I don't think she would be interested because the kids might hear us. She gets up before 6:00 am so mornings are out too because we would have to start around 5:30, which isn't going to happen. I'd like it more often but my wife isn't interested enough to lose sleep over it.

Sorry to hear that you are seldom sexually active. I refuse to believe that if someone wants it bad enough that time is a factor though. Are there any other mitigating factors?

Not that I've been able to figure out. I just think that she doesn't want it bad enough. When I bring it up she gets pretty defensive so that doesn't get us too far.

once a week! and thats up from once every other month. We've been married 25 years so somethings do improve with age.