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-   -   To Cheat or NOT to Cheat that is the question (https://thetfp.com/tfp/tilted-sexuality/81047-cheat-not-cheat-question.html)

7w17ch 01-29-2005 05:46 PM

uh, im going to go with fuck no.
after just being on the recieving end of a cheater i could never inflict that much suffering on a SO. if you really want tit that bad, break up with them its the only honerable thing to do. you only cheapen the experiance that both you and your SO are sharing.

my 2 cents

JumpinJesus 01-29-2005 07:23 PM

I've been cheated on. It's not something I could ever do. I've been tempted, but I could never go through with it.

scout 01-30-2005 03:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lite campfire
Well, I probably wouldn't cheat exactly. However; if given the right motivation, I can't say for sure my SO wouldn't recieve a call along the lines of "ThisisntworkningoutandIthinkweshouldseeotherpeopleitsnotyouitsmeokaybye".

HAHA that gave me a good chuckle this morning!!

On another note I can't say I've never cheated on a SO because in my younger days things sometimes got kinda wild, bordering on out of control. I think sometimes we commit ourselves to a bad relationship for one or more of the wrong reasons, be it convenience or whatever. Also I wouldn't judge anyone that would cheat or is cheating on their current SO as they are probably looking for something they aren't getting in their current relationship. I know almost everyone will say "communication is the key and you should be talking to them blah blah blah" and they are right but sometimes it's easier said than done.

However I can honestly say that I don't believe I would cheat on my current wife under any circumstances. In my eyes my wife is the perfect woman and when you have found perfection there is no need to look any further! I love her more than life itself and no way would I ever want to hurt her in any way shape or form. I just wish I had found her 20 years ago !!

sbscout 01-30-2005 07:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bing bing
you should change it to; would you cheat if you were 100% certain that he or she will never find out unless you tell them.

If that were the case, if it was the right person.

I made a commitment to my wife 23 years ago. I still love her and can see no reason to cheat.

Vows are called vows for a reason.

Call me old-fashioned... I'll take it as a compliment. :)

paulskinback 01-30-2005 05:54 PM

I voted a strong no, but we have to differentiate between wanting to cheat in a bad relationship and wanting to cheat in a good one. I would vote completely the other way if i were in a shitty relationship, and have done so in the past, but as it stands HELL NO! my girlfriend is my rock, my life, my sweetness (and no, she doesnt know i write on this forum so i'm not sucking up)

she is the greatest

if you have the urge to cheat - do it! You're obviously in the wrong relationship - or you're a born cheater - either way, good luck

docbungle 01-30-2005 07:34 PM

Cheating is an indication of shallowness and lack of integrity. Two things I have no patience for.

loganmule 02-01-2005 08:05 PM

Unless the guy or girl is a total zero, "cheating" doesn't happen in a vacuum. Putting aside the issue of what constitues cheating (kissing? 2nd base? third base? no cumming?), it isn't as simple as the "cheater" is a total shitheel. What if your SO is not meeting your essential needs, although this has been communicated clearly over and over, and in your mind there is no acceptable reason for that? What if your SO needs you and you don't want to abandon him or her? How do you reconcile those contradictory positions? Admittedly, cheating lots of times is nothing more than instant gratification over something bigger and more important, but often it isn't so simple. I knew a guy whose wife had very advanced MS, and he took greeat care of her, but also discreetly saw someone else (ironically, he died of a heart attack and she still lives). In his situation, I have a hard time condemning him for his actions...let those without sin judge I guess.

Amnesia620 02-03-2005 04:09 AM

I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way.
 
I have cheated (way too much) in the past (9 - 12+ relationships). I haven't, however, in the last 5 - 6 1/2 years (5-6 relationships)...I don't plan to begin cheating, again. :)

kollege_gal2000 02-03-2005 09:38 AM

Well, the opportunity has come up, but I love my b/f very much, and would never want to risk it. I think cheating is absord, however, my b/f also has a different opinion on the subject. He thinks it is alright as long as I am ok with it. I think it really depends on the person, however, I would never in my right mind cheat.

Mel 02-03-2005 09:06 PM

I would never cheat on my guy, I love him too much

monica 02-03-2005 10:33 PM

At one time, I thought I would never cheat on someone that I loved... but I got myself into a situation where I discovered I was wrong. I am a weaker person than I had thought.

However, having cheated and finally gotten through the messiest part of the outcome, I would say a loud NO and know for certain that I mean it. The pain that has occurred as a result has been so awful. Last year was the worst year of my life to date, and I never want to live through that again.

And ultimately, I've learned a very hard lesson... the grass is never greener. Everyone has brown patches.

scout 02-04-2005 02:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by monica
At one time, I thought I would never cheat on someone that I loved... but I got myself into a situation where I discovered I was wrong. I am a weaker person than I had thought.

I think given the right set of circumstances anyone and everyone is vulnerable at any given time. I think some people may be fooling themselves by saying never. One thing I've learned in my 40 years on this earth is to never say never and to always be careful about condemning or judging anyone because either one or both have a odd way of coming back to haunt you.

webfiend 02-04-2005 02:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by scout
I think given the right set of circumstances anyone and everyone is vulnerable at any given time. I think some people may be fooling themselves by saying never. One thing I've learned in my 40 years on this earth is to never say never and to always be careful about condemning or judging anyone because either one or both have a odd way of coming back to haunt you.

Now you've got me wanting to listen to the song "Instant Karma" :D

mew 02-08-2005 08:31 PM

Ive had the opportunity to cheat on someone, but its not right. Break up with your partner first, then go for that nouveau one. If you cant think of being apart from your SO, then you shouldnt cheat. Respect them, respect yourself.

Locobot 02-11-2005 01:23 AM

18% yes - alright!

ironmaiden7o7 02-11-2005 06:19 AM

I wouldn't. My SO is too much of a great person. I wouldn't dare screw things up.

trib767 02-11-2005 11:41 AM

I don't think it is that black and white. If you don't feel you're with "the one" then, yes maybe. But if your SO is the one, soul mate, life partner, then you wouldn't want to, surely ?

lazygirl 02-11-2005 04:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by scout
I think given the right set of circumstances anyone and everyone is vulnerable at any given time. I think some people may be fooling themselves by saying never. One thing I've learned in my 40 years on this earth is to never say never and to always be careful about condemning or judging anyone because either one or both have a odd way of coming back to haunt you.

maybe it is an age thing, I said yes only because I've learned to never say never.

Carno 02-11-2005 04:59 PM

I find it sad how people can attempt to justify such a shitty thing.

analog 02-11-2005 08:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Carn
I find it sad how people can attempt to justify such a shitty thing.

Indeed. Every word.

Amnesia620 02-11-2005 09:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by losamigos
wow, that's a question for u?

i would never. i want to hook up with other chicks then i just break up.

Even with my not-so-innocent past, I have to agree...with my current SO, if I was tempted I'd break up first...sometimes people who cheat don't have the nerve or are hesitant to make the end of the relationship final...fear of point-of-no-return?

larny 02-12-2005 03:24 AM

I wouldnt cheat, I have been cheated on and obviously i didnt like it. so i know what it feels like. Its not a nice feeling and i wouldnt want that to happen again.

tres 02-12-2005 08:32 PM

I can't say that I would ever cheat on my SO, but I've wanted to. Is there a difference?

lazygirl 02-13-2005 11:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lazygirl
maybe it is an age thing, I said yes only because I've learned to never say never.


Wanted to add, I've been in a committed reltionship for nearly 25 years and have not seriously even considered cheating, but to say NEVER, well, that word has a way of making things happen. lol

03-10-2005 05:22 AM

i really hate the idea of doing so and my significant other is strikingly beautiful and devoted to me but in the heat of the matter i don't know if i can trust myself to avoid temptation. but i'm sure i would feel bad the entire time if i did so, and it probably wouldnt go very far, and i'd probably just admit it directly afterwards. maybe i'd surprise myself, and refrain from doing anything, who knows.

tres 03-10-2005 06:41 AM

This is an interesting question... I'm engaged, and my SO and I have a great relationship. I know what I have and I know what I would lose if I ever cheated. I could never cheat and then not tell her. I would feel way too guilty. I think it is in everyone at least a little bit, to want to be with other people. being with someone other than the person you have been with is exciting..like trying something new. But, it always comes back to "I'm happy where I am, and would never want to lose that"

cellophanedeity 03-10-2005 07:13 AM

I'm really happy in my relationship, but if I wanted more I'd talk to my love. We'd figure some way to satisfy my cravings without hurting Us. I wouldn't cheat on him ever. I figure the risk of losing something this good is not worth it.

Mind you, he lets me kiss other girlies as long as I tell him about it ;)

cellophanedeity 03-10-2005 07:17 AM

(safe sex promotion!)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by ninety09
Well, there's not really any kind of 'understanding'. If I had sex with a girl other than my SO. I wouldn't tell her; it's just none of her business.

Though I don't share your sentiments, my main problem with this is that there's always a chance of STI's. If you're fucking around with other people, make sure you do it safely and get checked out once in a while.

If you fuck some other lady and get syphilis, it suddenly becomes your SO's problem too.

Demeter 03-10-2005 07:44 PM

You wouldn't hit your S.O.,
or call him/her names until they cried,
or steal all their money
or humliate them intentionally in public.
Yet people will go out & cheat on the one they love & devastate them just the same.

SVT01Cobra 03-10-2005 08:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by trib767
I don't think it is that black and white. If you don't feel you're with "the one" then, yes maybe. But if your SO is the one, soul mate, life partner, then you wouldn't want to, surely ?


Well fuck, if someone doesn't feel like they're with "the one", then they'll NEVER get anywhere in that relationship.
If you don't feel like you're with "the one", then call the relationship off, but for goodness' sake, don't cheat!

I agree with the previous sentiments that cheating on your SO means you have NO respect for HER, OR the relationship.

RGHoskins26 03-10-2005 08:17 PM

simple answer : no. if im not in a relaitonship, all girls are fair game, but i'm fortunate enough to have a fiancee'.....and the girl hasn't been born to make me look elsewhere.

yuckfoomaster 03-11-2005 07:00 AM

Ive never had sexual relations with anyone BUT my husband.
Im afraid to cheat because karma is a bitch.

But then he wants me to screw other women. :lol:

insidious_machinae 03-11-2005 02:17 PM

This message has been deleted.


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