Getting over the first hump - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

omid · 01-01-2005, 04:45 PM

... no pun intended.

the gf and i just recently started having sex (both 18). we were both each other's firsts. anyways, she came twice the first time (weird? but i feel accomplished.. sorta

), despite having immense pain. we took it verrrrry slowly and she was basically in pain the whole time. my question to the great people of tfp is: how long will it take for her to get over the pain part and begin to enjoy sex?

that is, i want to keep trying, but she has her doubts because it hurt like a bitch. i'm a totally blunt person, so i have already tried being 100% honest with her and telling her exactly how i feel. i guess what i'm looking for is a time frame of how long it took you ladies (guys: your girlfriends) to get over the pain.

p.s. even though she had to suck me off so i could finish... it was amazing.

snowy · 01-01-2005, 05:15 PM

It was a good month before sex felt good to me after losing my virginity, and I suffered immense pain the first time. Let her know that it is going to be uncomfortable for a while but the majority of the pain has passed. Use a good lube. That will help considerably, and try making her come BEFORE intercourse; that will relax her.

monkeysugar · 01-01-2005, 05:21 PM

I think it kind of depends on the person. I was my current girlfriend's first, and the first few times we tried it hurt her too much to be able to do anything. She was very wet and ready to go, but was nervous and tense about the possibility of pain. When it eventually happened, she was perfectly relaxed and it didn't hurt her a bit. Dunno if that helps, but maybe it's something to keep in mind.

Telling her how you feel is a good thing, as long as it does not come across as pressuring her. It'll be much better for both of you when she is completely relaxed and ready.

omid · 01-01-2005, 05:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by onesnowyowl

try making her come BEFORE intercourse; that will relax her.

haha, i'll be sure to try that next time. and hey, do i really need to use lube if i can get her really really wet? i really don't think it's necessary..

Wax_off · 01-01-2005, 05:32 PM

There's a slim chance she won't get over it. There are a few conditions out there that can cause intercourse to be painful for women on a permanant basis (no matter how much foreplay and lube you use). If the pain continues, get her to a ob/gyn. It could be something simple like a bit of hymen that's still hanging on, or something more complicated like vaginismus or vulvadynia.
In all probablility it's just some normal pain that will go away when she gets used to sex.

Good luck.

Acetylene · 01-01-2005, 07:12 PM

Definitely use your fingers first. This can help her muscles relax and open up a bit.

Try letting her be on top, and assure her OFTEN to go as slow as she wants (will likely require patience on your part).

Read the threads on preventing pain during anal sex. The same principles apply.

Try not to go more than 3 days without trying or she might get un-used to it (but always give her a day off if she needs it)

Depending on the size of your dick, and of her vagina, it will take more or less time, but unless (like wax_off said) there is something medically wrong, things will get fun soon

SparklingDot · 01-02-2005, 01:02 AM

Give her a month or so, and taht is tentative. Really, just give her the time she needs. Lots and lots of foreplay helps to get her ready both physically and mentally, that includes stuff like fingering. Let her be on top, and in control. That means you don't move until or unless she asks you to. It should help to let her control what is happening and give her body a chance to get used to you. If she's willing to try, it should get easier each time. Give her enough time between trying to relax and to deal whatever it is she needs to deal with. Make sure she knows that she's the only one you want, that the experience is special, and be very very patient with her.

bermuDa · 01-02-2005, 02:19 AM

lots of foreplay, go slow, relax, use a condom and plenty of lube if necessary... good advice. How old are you and your gf? it's refreshing to see people losing their virginity to each other, seems rare these days.

omid · 01-02-2005, 11:44 AM

haha i said in the orig post.. we're 18

Sweetpea · 01-02-2005, 10:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by omid

haha, i'll be sure to try that next time. and hey, do i really need to use lube if i can get her really really wet? i really don't think it's necessary..

lube, lube and more lube . . . Can't tell ya how important that is for the first times and even for like the first 6 months . . . it'll hurt way less if she orgasms before she enter her and you use lotsa lube . . . it doesn't mean that you didn't make her wet enough or that you aren't the best F**king lover ever . . . it just means that Lube has components in it that truly help to make penetration alot nicer for the gal

Trust me on this one.

snowy · 01-03-2005, 01:20 AM

Lube also sticks around longer than natural secretions.

Cimarron29414 · 01-04-2005, 09:56 AM

Often, when a woman feels discomfort during sex, her secretions stop immediately. Then, what is there will dry up due to friction and the pain will increase. That is why lube is a good thing. It keeps things moist until her body kicks in again.

01-01-2005, 04:45 PM	#1 (permalink)
omid Crazy Location: Aliso Viejo, California	Getting over the first hump ... no pun intended. the gf and i just recently started having sex (both 18). we were both each other's firsts. anyways, she came twice the first time (weird? but i feel accomplished.. sorta ), despite having immense pain. we took it verrrrry slowly and she was basically in pain the whole time. my question to the great people of tfp is: how long will it take for her to get over the pain part and begin to enjoy sex? that is, i want to keep trying, but she has her doubts because it hurt like a bitch. i'm a totally blunt person, so i have already tried being 100% honest with her and telling her exactly how i feel. i guess what i'm looking for is a time frame of how long it took you ladies (guys: your girlfriends) to get over the pain. p.s. even though she had to suck me off so i could finish... it was amazing. __________________ Kick butt buzz-cut dickheads who didn't like what I said. The good times are killing me. Jaws clenching tight we talked all night, oh but what the hell did we say? The good times are killing me.

01-01-2005, 05:15 PM	#2 (permalink)
snowy Kick Ass Kunoichi Location: Oregon	It was a good month before sex felt good to me after losing my virginity, and I suffered immense pain the first time. Let her know that it is going to be uncomfortable for a while but the majority of the pain has passed. Use a good lube. That will help considerably, and try making her come BEFORE intercourse; that will relax her. __________________ If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

01-01-2005, 05:21 PM	#3 (permalink)
monkeysugar I'll be on the veranda, since you're on the cross. Location: Rand McNally's friendliest small town in America. They must have strayed from the dodgy parts...	I think it kind of depends on the person. I was my current girlfriend's first, and the first few times we tried it hurt her too much to be able to do anything. She was very wet and ready to go, but was nervous and tense about the possibility of pain. When it eventually happened, she was perfectly relaxed and it didn't hurt her a bit. Dunno if that helps, but maybe it's something to keep in mind. Telling her how you feel is a good thing, as long as it does not come across as pressuring her. It'll be much better for both of you when she is completely relaxed and ready. __________________ I've got the love of my life and a job that I enjoy most of the time. Life is good.

01-01-2005, 07:12 PM	#6 (permalink)
Acetylene Addict Location: under a rock	Definitely use your fingers first. This can help her muscles relax and open up a bit. Try letting her be on top, and assure her OFTEN to go as slow as she wants (will likely require patience on your part). Read the threads on preventing pain during anal sex. The same principles apply. Try not to go more than 3 days without trying or she might get un-used to it (but always give her a day off if she needs it) Depending on the size of your dick, and of her vagina, it will take more or less time, but unless (like wax_off said) there is something medically wrong, things will get fun soon __________________ There's no justice. There's just us.

01-02-2005, 01:02 AM	#7 (permalink)
SparklingDot Insane	Give her a month or so, and taht is tentative. Really, just give her the time she needs. Lots and lots of foreplay helps to get her ready both physically and mentally, that includes stuff like fingering. Let her be on top, and in control. That means you don't move until or unless she asks you to. It should help to let her control what is happening and give her body a chance to get used to you. If she's willing to try, it should get easier each time. Give her enough time between trying to relax and to deal whatever it is she needs to deal with. Make sure she knows that she's the only one you want, that the experience is special, and be very very patient with her. __________________ 17 seconds is all you really need - Smashing Pumpkins

01-01-2005, 05:32 PM	#5 (permalink)
Wax_off No Avatar, No Sig.	There's a slim chance she won't get over it. There are a few conditions out there that can cause intercourse to be painful for women on a permanant basis (no matter how much foreplay and lube you use). If the pain continues, get her to a ob/gyn. It could be something simple like a bit of hymen that's still hanging on, or something more complicated like vaginismus or vulvadynia. In all probablility it's just some normal pain that will go away when she gets used to sex. Good luck.

01-02-2005, 02:19 AM	#8 (permalink)
bermuDa don't ignore this--> Location: CA	lots of foreplay, go slow, relax, use a condom and plenty of lube if necessary... good advice. How old are you and your gf? it's refreshing to see people losing their virginity to each other, seems rare these days. __________________ I am the very model of a moderator gentleman.

01-02-2005, 11:44 AM	#9 (permalink)
omid Crazy Location: Aliso Viejo, California	haha i said in the orig post.. we're 18 __________________ Kick butt buzz-cut dickheads who didn't like what I said. The good times are killing me. Jaws clenching tight we talked all night, oh but what the hell did we say? The good times are killing me.

01-03-2005, 01:20 AM	#11 (permalink)
snowy Kick Ass Kunoichi Location: Oregon	Lube also sticks around longer than natural secretions. __________________ If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

01-04-2005, 09:56 AM	#12 (permalink)
Cimarron29414 Still Free Location: comfortably perched at the top of the bell curve!	Often, when a woman feels discomfort during sex, her secretions stop immediately. Then, what is there will dry up due to friction and the pain will increase. That is why lube is a good thing. It keeps things moist until her body kicks in again.