Is there a problem with me?
 

Well, I just recently had sex for the first time. I thought the first time would be fast, but it took me almost 3 hours to orgasm. My partner came 2 times before I did. She is worried that she can't please me. It feels great but I don't know what gives. Btw I'm a 21 year old male. It takes me a short time when I do it "myself" lol. Any feedback would be appreciated and thank you in advance.

Might seriously just be the "stress" of it all - especially for a first time.

My advice - relax, don't worry about performance or anything, and just enjoy yourself. Instead of worrying about the end, enjoy the journey.

Sammy

you were probably just nervous... i'm sure you've heard it before but the mind is the biggest sex organ. just relax and explore your newfound sex life.

Yeah, Nerves can cause lots of problems.
From not being able to orgasm, not being able to get up, or sometimes going to fast.
My first time ever having sex was quick. But now, my first time having sex with a new girl, it is harder to finish.

My friend just had a story like yours recently, first time with a new girl, he just kept going. The problem with his was, his condom didn't hold up, so at the end he found out he had lost the condom. Scary thing for them.

Moral: until you work this out, change condoms for such long sessions.

You're not used to sex with a woman, but rather are used to masterbation. Give yourself time.

Like the others said, calm down a little and you'll be fine

do more foreplay before hand to get you more comfy with the idea, try showering together too

Constant masturbation can desensitize the penis. Er, so I'm told...

I wish. But, alas, such is not the case.

If it feels great then just keep going and enjoy. The orgasm is nice, but everything before that is what makes it great.

Thank you everyone for your reply. I don't mind, but just that she thinks she isn't pleasing me is what gets me.

Tell her before, during, and after how much she is pleasing you.

If you didn't, try different positions. Different positions = different feelings. If you haven't tried different positions, that too will change as you start to relax and enjoy the experience.

Don't worry about it mate.

A lot of other guys would love to take 3 hours to orgasm; especially if your partner climaxed twice.

Look at it this way. You're obviously doing something right! Many blokes couldn't get a woman to orgasm if they tried their hardest!


Mr Mephisto

It does?? you could have fooled me?


were you drinking that night? That can play a big role

Yeah sammy is right, drinking can have that effect.

Have her try some oral before you get into it.

Same thing happened to my roommate, it was from too much stress. Just relax...

practice makes perfect

This isn't the worst problem to have... I am sure many of us can tell u about our first times and how quickly they went.. Like everyone has said, nerves do play a big part in it.... Don't worry about your girlfriend, she is sweet to worry about pleasing you, but I am sure you gave her a night she soon won't forget... Keep it up! lol

Besides alcohol, other drugs can have this effect. Prozac and SSRI's in general do it, probably many others. I went through this in the early 90's. It was great in some ways - Mr. Endurance - frustrating as hell in others.

As already said, just make sure she knows you're enjoying the time together. Pick a spot, kiss it, move, repeat. You can't go wrong. Get out of your head. "Lose yourself."

Oh yea, congrats! :thumbsup:

You gave your gf 2 orgasms your first time? You should be proud. Most men only last about 30 seconds to 3 minutes the first time. Try not to worry about it and enjoy being a dynamo.

I wouldn't be complaining if I were you...hell, if I last more than 10 minutes I feel like a man :(

Good for you for going for three hours. My first time I lasted about 1 hour and really had to think it through to finish up. Believe me, the duration goes down dramatically after a few times & you'll spend the rest of eternity trying to get your time back up (margaret thatcher naked in the cold, margaret thatcher naked in the cold).

There is so much stress associated with your first time, especially if your partner is aware that it's your first time. You don't want to be "bad in bed", want to please your partner, have no idea what the hell is going on, etc. Ugh. Now that that's over, start experimenting!

Enjoy the newfound thrill. It's unlike any toy you'll ever own, the fun never stops and you never get sick of it!

everyone said most everything important.

just try and concentrate less on yourself and more on your partner. next time try and vary stuff up and make her come more often than once every hour and a half. :) good luck

Absolutely nothing wrong with you. At least not regarding this. ;)

Yep, I took over 2 hours my first time.

My most recent sex session lasted far less time. Maybe I need to remember how nervous I was my first time - obviously baseball isn't cutting it.

Same thing happened to me, took 3 hours and she went 4-5 times before I did. Now Im lucky if I last 20 mins including foreplay :-/

Just remember what Woody Allen said about orgasms:
"Even the worse one was right on the money"

as others said, nothing is wrong with you. and if your gf doesn't have much experience, it makes sense she'd be worried about her own performance (as mentioned, many guys can't go that long even when they want to!).

just do a lot of reassuring for her...tell her frequently that you love what she's doing and how it makes you feel. if she starts getting really antsy--tell her it feels so good you don't want it to end (orgasm). just be careful that you don't go so long it starts to hurt. all that friction can get painful after a while--particularly if there isn't enough lubrication (natural or bottled).