mnkyhead

I have been with my wife since high school. I am 30 now, so we have been together for almost 12 years. We basicly grew up together, went to the same college, and I don't really know who I am with out her. We have been married for 5 years. I love her and care deeply about her, and we get along great, but I am very restless, and am craving a new relationship. Our sex life is so-so, and I think that is part of the problem. She is the only women I have ever had sex with. We have discussed our sexual issues - I want more, she doesn't - many time, and we have come up with solutions, but then we just slip back into the old routine, and have to go through it all over again.
I am at as much fault in this as she, neither of us are great communicators.
But lately I have been feeling like we have reached a ceiling, and I feel trapped. I haven't discussed this with her, because I am afraid of how she will take it, I think over all she is happy with our life. I have been driving myself nuts with this, I know I should talk to her, but I need some other opions first.
Thanks

Coppertop

You said it right there. No advice you get on the internet can compete with talking with your wife about your relationship. If a couple cannot communicate, they are doomed to unhappiness.

CinnamonGirl

Ever heard that Clay Walker song?

Then what? Whatcha gonna do
When the new wears off and the old shines through
And it ain't really love, and it ain't really lust
You ain't anybody anyone is gonna trust

Then what, where you gonna turn
When you can't turn back for the bridges you've burned
And fate can't wait to kick you in the butt--then what?

I'll admit, I've felt restless sometimes, too... and if you're truly unhappy (and not just about sex), then yeah, maybe you need to take another look at everything... but if it really is just a "well, I'm kind of getting bored now" feeling, step back, and ask yourself if it's REALLY worth letting go of all your history together.

And...yep on the talking. *nods*

__________________
"...for though she was ordinary, she possessed health, wit, courage, charm, and cheerfulness. But because she was not beautiful, no one ever seemed to notice these other qualities, which is so often the way of the world."


"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"

irateplatypus

well... i know this isn't a comforting response, but you did make vows to eachother. "for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health." what you're going through now is probably peanuts compared to the extremes that do fall under your sworn vow.

the grass is always greener on the other side. you know that there are many many people who would trade w/you, right? so many would just like to have someone that loved them enough to be married. many more that are married pray for someone to be content w/their relationship as you say your wife seems to be.

__________________
If you will not fight when your victory will be sure and not too costly, you may come to the moment when you will have to fight with all the odds against you and only a precarious chance for survival. There may even be a worse case. You may have to fight when there is no hope of victory, because it is better to perish than to live as slaves.

~ Winston Churchill

angeltek

My Wife and I are not great on the communication either, and last year our relationship nearly ended due to a crisis that I caused, but she would not let end. However I did the smartest thing I could have ever done. Marriage Counseling. The last thing anyone really wants is to talk is a shrink, however they really help in breaking down those barriers that stop us from communicating with eachother. The relationship I have had with my wife since then has been better then ever.