Using a friend as a safety net? - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Carno · 09-16-2004, 10:20 AM

Okay, so I was talking to my buddy and he was telling me how girls sometimes use their friends as a safety net. Like for instance, a guy asks a girl to go to the mall, but she's not really feeling the guy, and instead of saying no, she brings a friend. Similar to the wingman tactic, but in reverse. That way the friend can make up an excuse for why they have to leave or something.

I had never considered this, but it seems to make sense. My buddy kinda dropped some doubt into my mind also. I asked a girl to come over to my apt one time, and she brought a friend. She never mentioned her friend, so I had no idea she was coming, and now when I think back on it, I'm wondering if that was a safety net or something. On the other hand, a while back ago, one of my roommates had commented to my friend that she should bring over some friends sometime (we don't know many girls in this town).

Anyone ever do this, or is my buddy full of shit, or what?

Flyguy · 09-16-2004, 10:27 AM

Your buddy speaks the truth. The reason she brought a friend to your apt. is because she thought you were going to try and hit it so she brought her friend as sort of a cock blocker. Happened to me more than once. Essentially, she doesn't trust herself to be alone with you yet.

Shizukana · 09-16-2004, 12:37 PM

I'd have to agree with Flyguy's assessment.

the_marq · 09-16-2004, 12:45 PM

Quote:

I asked a girl to come over to my apt one time, and she brought a friend.

Uhhh, threesome?

MrsRight41401 · 09-16-2004, 12:48 PM

I did that all the time pre-marriage. I wonder if deep down I was hoping for a 3 some...

Points to ponder.

Sugar&Spice · 09-16-2004, 01:29 PM

Perhaps the girl did not know you very well and felt a little uneasy about spending one on one time in your apartment. Or you could be right, she is not interested in a relationship with you so she brought her friend to prevent you from trying anything.

In the past if I was invited to hang out with a guy and I didn't want to say no to him I'd bring a friend along.

CityOfAngels · 09-16-2004, 03:51 PM

I understand the act of having a safety net because it's better than going in and getting raped.

I don't understand it because if you think something you don't want to happen will happen, you should say no, and wait until you get to know the person more.

Carno · 09-16-2004, 04:03 PM

Well, I should probably expand on my example. She knew in advance that both my roommates were there, as well as two other people. Also, I'd known her for about 6 months and had hung out with her alone a few times before, but never at my apartment.

As far as the threesome, the friend she brought over was a lesbian

Hell if I was alone I might have tried something, but I wasn't...

MrsRight41401 · 09-16-2004, 04:07 PM

For me when I brought someone it was usually because I dind't know the guy enough to want to be alone w/ him. Once I got to know the guy I wouldn't bring a friend. When I was growing up I was told by my father never to be alone with a man unless I wanted to have sex.

Rachel

09-16-2004, 10:20 AM	#1 (permalink)
Carno Junkie	Using a friend as a safety net? Okay, so I was talking to my buddy and he was telling me how girls sometimes use their friends as a safety net. Like for instance, a guy asks a girl to go to the mall, but she's not really feeling the guy, and instead of saying no, she brings a friend. Similar to the wingman tactic, but in reverse. That way the friend can make up an excuse for why they have to leave or something. I had never considered this, but it seems to make sense. My buddy kinda dropped some doubt into my mind also. I asked a girl to come over to my apt one time, and she brought a friend. She never mentioned her friend, so I had no idea she was coming, and now when I think back on it, I'm wondering if that was a safety net or something. On the other hand, a while back ago, one of my roommates had commented to my friend that she should bring over some friends sometime (we don't know many girls in this town). Anyone ever do this, or is my buddy full of shit, or what? __________________ http://how-to-spell-ridiculous.com/

09-16-2004, 12:37 PM	#3 (permalink)
Shizukana Insane Location: Plano, TX	I'd have to agree with Flyguy's assessment. __________________ "The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it." - George Bernard Shaw

09-16-2004, 12:48 PM	#5 (permalink)
MrsRight41401 Tilted Location: Georgia	I did that all the time pre-marriage. I wonder if deep down I was hoping for a 3 some... Points to ponder. __________________ Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. Dr. Seuss

09-16-2004, 01:29 PM	#6 (permalink)
Sugar&Spice Psycho	Perhaps the girl did not know you very well and felt a little uneasy about spending one on one time in your apartment. Or you could be right, she is not interested in a relationship with you so she brought her friend to prevent you from trying anything. In the past if I was invited to hang out with a guy and I didn't want to say no to him I'd bring a friend along. __________________ -Speak your mind even if your voice shakes

09-16-2004, 04:03 PM	#8 (permalink)
Carno Junkie	Well, I should probably expand on my example. She knew in advance that both my roommates were there, as well as two other people. Also, I'd known her for about 6 months and had hung out with her alone a few times before, but never at my apartment. As far as the threesome, the friend she brought over was a lesbian Hell if I was alone I might have tried something, but I wasn't... __________________ http://how-to-spell-ridiculous.com/

09-16-2004, 10:27 AM	#2 (permalink)
Flyguy Banned Location: Swooping down on you from above....	Your buddy speaks the truth. The reason she brought a friend to your apt. is because she thought you were going to try and hit it so she brought her friend as sort of a cock blocker. Happened to me more than once. Essentially, she doesn't trust herself to be alone with you yet.

09-16-2004, 03:51 PM	#7 (permalink)
CityOfAngels Oh shit it's Wayne Brady! Location: Passenger seat of Wayne Brady's car.	I understand the act of having a safety net because it's better than going in and getting raped. I don't understand it because if you think something you don't want to happen will happen, you should say no, and wait until you get to know the person more.

09-16-2004, 04:07 PM	#9 (permalink)
MrsRight41401 Tilted Location: Georgia	For me when I brought someone it was usually because I dind't know the guy enough to want to be alone w/ him. Once I got to know the guy I wouldn't bring a friend. When I was growing up I was told by my father never to be alone with a man unless I wanted to have sex. Rachel __________________ Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. Dr. Seuss