What to say (or IM) to the opposite sex to make them want to talk - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Astrocloud · 09-30-2003, 08:32 PM

I am befuddled.

I often don't know what to say to the opposite sex when I don't know them. Sometimes, when I'm intoxicated -I just go up to them yammering and it usually works out just fine. I mean -believe it or not I'm an extravert and once I get going I don't have any serious conversation stoppers... It's just what to say FIRST.

So I was on some un-namable dating website last week. I was looking at a picture of some attractive woman in my area. I couldn't figure out what to write to her. I hate it when guys act all stupid and say things like "Hey Babe"; I wanted to appear smart, witty. I was perplexed.

My roommate stopped by and looked over my shoulder and said "Whoa, who is that?"

To make a long story short; while I was perplexing... he went and wrote something like this:

Quote:

Subject: Your hot pics,

i'm interested in you.

You should respond, we can chat a little. I'll send u a pic if u do, you wont be disappointed i promise,,

lol,

Rich

AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

She wrote him back. He didn't have any pictures up. My "nice guy" approach fell completely flat -no response.

Here's my email

Quote:

Subject: Genuine Fun Loving Guy
So you live in Lowell, -I've heard of it.

No actually I go there at least once a weekend. I tend not to drink very much (for dieting's sake) but I have spent time at the Lowell Brewery and the smaller clubs in the downtown area. My favorite there is the Evos Arts center (for whatever reason -perhaps it's the jukebox and the food delivered from Capo's -next door.

Do you ever go out in Lowell and if so where?

You may write me here or at my email address Deleted

I'm looking forward to hearing from you,

Eric

So what's the deal with women??? Do they prefer the brainless sort of come on and brazen showboating???

Should I become a Rich so that I can meet women?

Johnny Rotten · 09-30-2003, 09:51 PM

Just be yourself, man. If she doesn't dig it, then find a girl who does. Also, you're more likely to find quick hook-ups online than anything else. Short, to the point, and sexual more than friendly. If you want a girl to hang out with and get in a relationship with, you're better off looking around offline, IMO,.

itchy93 · 09-30-2003, 11:05 PM

In all honesty, for first impressions, it helps to be a little showboat-y. Don't be obnoxious, but say something they would perceive as forward. Follow up with casual conversation... whatever feels comfortable. You're absolutely right, though: getting their attention is far harder than keeping it.
And though I can't speak from personal experience, I agree with <b>Johnny Rotten</b>. Online dating attracts a certain type of girls that typically aren't really long-term material. At any rate, good luck in your quest for love.

Itchy93

eribrav · 10-01-2003, 07:03 AM

I prefer the Austin "Danger" Powers approach.

I ask them "Do I make you horny baby?" then wait a few seconds and say "Should we shag now or shag later?"

You'll know soon enough where you stand.

oblar · 10-01-2003, 01:41 PM

I just tell them that my ass is the sweetest this side of the mississippi... They usually respond to that pretty quickly.. or to make it a little bit more forward, ask them what they have to offer you since you have a better ass than they do.

skysooner · 10-01-2003, 07:18 PM

It all depends on what you are going for. I rarely have found a line to work. A bit cocky but not arrogant is a good way to be in an initial approach to a stranger. It has more of a chance of success. However some of the women you might really want to meet don't go for that approach at all. My wife (who I love dearly) is a hi, my name is ...... sort of person. If you used a line on her, you wouldn't get very far. I had one woman on a board really start flirting with me just because I was talking intellectually with someone else. She was really pushing hard on me till she found out I was married (which I didn't hide). I guess I'm saying just be yourself and you will ultimately have more luck, because you won't be putting on some contrived act that is hard to maintain.

Tophat665 · 10-01-2003, 07:26 PM

The one flat out line I have ever used: I was at the club that I worked stage crew at, and saw a not unattractive woman, somewhere between 5'10" and 6'0" who I thought it might be nice to hang with. So I sidled up to her (it was crowded), got into her line of sight, waited for a break in the music, and said (I shit you not) "Gosh, you're tall. What's your name?" Got me a night of dancing and a date I completely flailed at for other reasons.

analog · 10-01-2003, 08:26 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by skysooner
It all depends on what you are going for. I rarely have found a line to work. A bit cocky but not arrogant is a good way to be in an initial approach to a stranger. It has more of a chance of success. However some of the women you might really want to meet don't go for that approach at all. My wife (who I love dearly) is a hi, my name is ...... sort of person. If you used a line on her, you wouldn't get very far.....

Exactly. If you're looking for a good fuck, maybe a short dating stint, girls like the forward, assholish approach a lot of the time. I know this from the experiences of my good friend. However, if you're looking for true quality, and something long-lasting, just be yourself. "Hi, i'm analog."

Good post, skysooner- and the best of luck to you, astrocloud.

darkallaround · 10-01-2003, 08:43 PM

just a note on the email thing.

at first glance, your email comes off as some guy in his 30's and your buddy's a 20 something. or a late teen.

now while that's probably not true, thats probably how it seemed to her.

unoaman · 07-29-2004, 09:49 AM

Funny you should ask...

Sometimes anything you attempt is destined to fail, but probably the most dependable for me have been genuine sincerity, and humor when emailing. Not slick, not bad boy, not brainiac...just a guy that makes it enjoyable to read what he writes.

Anitra and I met on line over two years ago, and I really think it was that combination that at least got my foot in the door with her. By the same token you have to know what you expect, whether it's short or long term, you need some expectations just as she does. Oh yeah, and after we met for the first time she revealed that it was my shoes that won her over! Regardless of all that, we were both at a point in our lives that we needed, and wanted commitment...but first you have to get the door opened a bit, and thats what you are talking about trying to do.

Averett · 07-29-2004, 10:04 AM

OH MY GOD STOP DIGGING UP OLD THREADS!!

There, I feel better.

unoaman · 07-29-2004, 11:30 AM

You don't want them, see if you can get them off. Makes no difference to me, but many times I find the older ones more intresting than the new ones. Untill somebody makes me stop,(ie. throws me off) you can either plan on more, or just don't look.

09-30-2003, 09:51 PM	#2 (permalink)
Johnny Rotten lost and found Location: Berkeley	Just be yourself, man. If she doesn't dig it, then find a girl who does. Also, you're more likely to find quick hook-ups online than anything else. Short, to the point, and sexual more than friendly. If you want a girl to hang out with and get in a relationship with, you're better off looking around offline, IMO,. __________________ "The idea that money doesn't buy you happiness is a lie put about by the rich, to stop the poor from killing them." -- Michael Caine

09-30-2003, 11:05 PM	#3 (permalink)
itchy93 Tilted Location: Wandering North America	In all honesty, for first impressions, it helps to be a little showboat-y. Don't be obnoxious, but say something they would perceive as forward. Follow up with casual conversation... whatever feels comfortable. You're absolutely right, though: getting their attention is far harder than keeping it. And though I can't speak from personal experience, I agree with <b>Johnny Rotten</b>. Online dating attracts a certain type of girls that typically aren't really long-term material. At any rate, good luck in your quest for love. Itchy93 __________________ That's just my opinion; I could be wrong.

10-01-2003, 01:41 PM	#5 (permalink)
oblar Über-Rookie Location: No longer, D.C	I just tell them that my ass is the sweetest this side of the mississippi... They usually respond to that pretty quickly.. or to make it a little bit more forward, ask them what they have to offer you since you have a better ass than they do. __________________ "All that we can do is just survive. .All that we can do to help ourselves is stay alive." - Rush

10-01-2003, 07:26 PM	#7 (permalink)
Tophat665 Minion of the scaléd ones Location: Northeast Jesusland	The one flat out line I have ever used: I was at the club that I worked stage crew at, and saw a not unattractive woman, somewhere between 5'10" and 6'0" who I thought it might be nice to hang with. So I sidled up to her (it was crowded), got into her line of sight, waited for a break in the music, and said (I shit you not) "Gosh, you're tall. What's your name?" Got me a night of dancing and a date I completely flailed at for other reasons. __________________ Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

10-01-2003, 08:43 PM	#9 (permalink)
darkallaround Tilted	just a note on the email thing. at first glance, your email comes off as some guy in his 30's and your buddy's a 20 something. or a late teen. now while that's probably not true, thats probably how it seemed to her. __________________ the darkness it surrounds me, consumes my very soul. within this worthless existence i shall never be made whole.

10-01-2003, 07:03 AM	#4 (permalink)
eribrav Junkie Location: upstate NY	I prefer the Austin "Danger" Powers approach. I ask them "Do I make you horny baby?" then wait a few seconds and say "Should we shag now or shag later?" You'll know soon enough where you stand.

10-01-2003, 07:18 PM	#6 (permalink)
skysooner Registered User Location: Oklahoma	It all depends on what you are going for. I rarely have found a line to work. A bit cocky but not arrogant is a good way to be in an initial approach to a stranger. It has more of a chance of success. However some of the women you might really want to meet don't go for that approach at all. My wife (who I love dearly) is a hi, my name is ...... sort of person. If you used a line on her, you wouldn't get very far. I had one woman on a board really start flirting with me just because I was talking intellectually with someone else. She was really pushing hard on me till she found out I was married (which I didn't hide). I guess I'm saying just be yourself and you will ultimately have more luck, because you won't be putting on some contrived act that is hard to maintain.

07-29-2004, 09:49 AM	#10 (permalink)
unoaman Loser Location: Scenic Drive	Funny you should ask... Sometimes anything you attempt is destined to fail, but probably the most dependable for me have been genuine sincerity, and humor when emailing. Not slick, not bad boy, not brainiac...just a guy that makes it enjoyable to read what he writes. Anitra and I met on line over two years ago, and I really think it was that combination that at least got my foot in the door with her. By the same token you have to know what you expect, whether it's short or long term, you need some expectations just as she does. Oh yeah, and after we met for the first time she revealed that it was my shoes that won her over! Regardless of all that, we were both at a point in our lives that we needed, and wanted commitment...but first you have to get the door opened a bit, and thats what you are talking about trying to do.

07-29-2004, 10:04 AM	#11 (permalink)
Averett Is In Love Location: I'm workin' on it	OH MY GOD STOP DIGGING UP OLD THREADS!! There, I feel better. __________________ Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.

07-29-2004, 11:30 AM	#12 (permalink)
unoaman Loser Location: Scenic Drive	You don't want them, see if you can get them off. Makes no difference to me, but many times I find the older ones more intresting than the new ones. Untill somebody makes me stop,(ie. throws me off) you can either plan on more, or just don't look.