newyorker143

There is this girl that i have started liking lately, and I think she likes me too. She always calls me to see if I want to do something, and when ever we go somewhere with a bunch of friends she always wants to sit next to me. also on the fourth of july, she wanted to ditch all of our firends go to the fireworks alone with me.

The only problem is, she just broke up with one of my friends about two months ago (about 1.5 year relationship, she broke up with him). The friend she broke up with isnt one of my best friends, more like one of the friends I only hang out with when im with a group of friends, but he is still kind of a cool dude.

Would it be ok to try and make a move on her, or are friends ex's considered off limits? Or am I already friend zoned?

btw, we are all 20, and ive known her for about 2 yrs (since her and my friend starting dating)

dirtyrascal7

do you know how your friend is handling it? if he's already with another girl or had a few rebounds, then it'd probably be alright to go ahead and ask her out. however, if there's any doubt in your mind that he's not over her, be respectful and ask if that's cool with him. tell him that you recently developed an attraction to this girl (key word: recently), and wanted to pursue her but didn't want to disrespect him. if he's a "cool dude" like you say he is, it should all work out nicely.

newyorker143

I don't think that he is over her yet.... He still calls her to hang out and stuff, but she doesnt like hanging out with him.

dirtyrascal7

hmm, tricky tricky... are you sure he didn't break up with her? that'd make things a lot easier.

anyway, maybe you should do some recon... ask the girl what the current status is with her ex and see if he's still hung up on her, but don't let her start whining about him to you or you'll get stuck in the friend zone very quickly. find out what you can then report back.

bing bing

make sure that you let her know that you're interested but that you're aslo concerned about what it might do for the relationship between you and your mate. That's what i'd do in the given situation.

intecel

Best thing to do is to find out if it would be alright with him... If it's not, then figure out if you want to ruin your friendship, or let yourself know then that it will not work.

Cross-Over

From your second post, you mention that you think he is not over her. You could talk to him about it, and his immediate reaction, not neccessarily his words, should give you an indication on what he thinks about it.

tooth

I think if this guy is less a friend and more of an aquaintance, then I say go for it.

It comes down to if the girl is more valuable to you than some dude that you hang with once in a while.

bookerV

My personal rule is OFF limits for anything in this kind of situation. It will only create tension and serve to cause problems within your group of friends. There are a lot of girls out there, find one that doesn't have a history with your friends...

__________________
"That's why you're the judge and I'm the law-talking guy."

Lionel Hutz

War316

Taken from personal experience i have never dated/slept with or even bothered with a friends ex. Regardless of how close you are to the friend there is someone that might be and really take it personally in a bad way and cause alot of friction amongst your group of friends.

So my advice to you would be just go ahead and leave well enough alone.

__________________
Good Times

Bleed Me Dry

Give it some time for both her and your friends sake. Time for him to recover and time for her to figure out what she wants so your not the rebound boy.

__________________
Bite Me...

But Only If Invited

Slims

Figure out what you want more and choose accordingly.

__________________
"Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery." - Winston Churchill

"All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act out their dream with open eyes, to make it possible." Seven Pillars of Wisdom, T.E. Lawrence

Kazic

Give it some time. She maybe using you as her rebound. If she is really into you. just ask her. Kinda owe it to yourself if you really are developing feelings for her.

__________________
"Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man
affected us as kids,we'd all be running around in
darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening
to repetitive electronic music."
-Kristian Wilson, Nintendo, Inc, 1989