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Old 07-07-2004, 09:45 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Girl advice - friends ex?

There is this girl that i have started liking lately, and I think she likes me too. She always calls me to see if I want to do something, and when ever we go somewhere with a bunch of friends she always wants to sit next to me. also on the fourth of july, she wanted to ditch all of our firends go to the fireworks alone with me.

The only problem is, she just broke up with one of my friends about two months ago (about 1.5 year relationship, she broke up with him). The friend she broke up with isnt one of my best friends, more like one of the friends I only hang out with when im with a group of friends, but he is still kind of a cool dude.

Would it be ok to try and make a move on her, or are friends ex's considered off limits? Or am I already friend zoned?

btw, we are all 20, and ive known her for about 2 yrs (since her and my friend starting dating)
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Old 07-07-2004, 10:04 PM   #2 (permalink)
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do you know how your friend is handling it? if he's already with another girl or had a few rebounds, then it'd probably be alright to go ahead and ask her out. however, if there's any doubt in your mind that he's not over her, be respectful and ask if that's cool with him. tell him that you recently developed an attraction to this girl (key word: recently), and wanted to pursue her but didn't want to disrespect him. if he's a "cool dude" like you say he is, it should all work out nicely.
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Old 07-07-2004, 10:11 PM   #3 (permalink)
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I don't think that he is over her yet.... He still calls her to hang out and stuff, but she doesnt like hanging out with him.
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Old 07-07-2004, 11:02 PM   #4 (permalink)
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hmm, tricky tricky... are you sure he didn't break up with her? that'd make things a lot easier.

anyway, maybe you should do some recon... ask the girl what the current status is with her ex and see if he's still hung up on her, but don't let her start whining about him to you or you'll get stuck in the friend zone very quickly. find out what you can then report back.
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Old 07-08-2004, 03:15 AM   #5 (permalink)
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make sure that you let her know that you're interested but that you're aslo concerned about what it might do for the relationship between you and your mate. That's what i'd do in the given situation.
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Old 07-08-2004, 05:18 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Best thing to do is to find out if it would be alright with him... If it's not, then figure out if you want to ruin your friendship, or let yourself know then that it will not work.
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Old 07-08-2004, 07:14 AM   #7 (permalink)
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From your second post, you mention that you think he is not over her. You could talk to him about it, and his immediate reaction, not neccessarily his words, should give you an indication on what he thinks about it.
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Old 07-08-2004, 11:07 AM   #8 (permalink)
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I think if this guy is less a friend and more of an aquaintance, then I say go for it.

It comes down to if the girl is more valuable to you than some dude that you hang with once in a while.
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Old 07-08-2004, 11:26 AM   #9 (permalink)
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My personal rule is OFF limits for anything in this kind of situation. It will only create tension and serve to cause problems within your group of friends. There are a lot of girls out there, find one that doesn't have a history with your friends...
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Old 07-08-2004, 02:58 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Taken from personal experience i have never dated/slept with or even bothered with a friends ex. Regardless of how close you are to the friend there is someone that might be and really take it personally in a bad way and cause alot of friction amongst your group of friends.

So my advice to you would be just go ahead and leave well enough alone.
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Old 07-08-2004, 05:12 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Give it some time for both her and your friends sake. Time for him to recover and time for her to figure out what she wants so your not the rebound boy.
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Old 07-08-2004, 05:13 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Figure out what you want more and choose accordingly.
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Old 07-08-2004, 07:37 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Give it some time. She maybe using you as her rebound. If she is really into you. just ask her. Kinda owe it to yourself if you really are developing feelings for her.
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