Mixed Signals
 

Background: I briefly dated a girl but had to break it off because I already had another girlfriend(another story). I told her that and "dumped" her.

Fast forward to now, where I want to pursue a legitimate relationship with her. Obviously there is a trust issue, she doesn't trust me.

I get the feeling she either doesn't know what she wants or she is playing games. She will tell me we can go out then not pick up her phone/ignore me. Days later it's as if nothing happened.

She will tell me she is in love with another guy, days later telling me the guy is fictional and she just made him up so I would stop going after her.

She goes on a trip abroad for a month, calls me from the airport, when she gets there, etc. Email back and forth a few times then ...nothing.

She gives me her new cell # while she is going abroad for a month and tells me to call her anytime. (I didn't even ask for it) I call her and she says shes busy and has to go. She ignores my emails and doesn't respond on MSN.


whats the story? Is she just stringing me along for revenge? Should I leave well enough alone and call it quits?

It sounds like this is her little way of "paying you back". I wouldn't waste any more time on that silly crap.

Yeah, she's fucking with you just as you did to her. Let her go and find a new girl, stop wasting your time.

Yeah, she's exacting revenge on you, but it sounds like you deserve it.

Yeah, if trust is going to be an issue, I say let her go. If you do start dating this girl, there will always be friction because of what she's doing to you.

Revenge, or she's a loon. Either way, move along. :)

I would definately move on...only I might consider playing some reverse games on her for the fun of it, as long as it didn't require much effort. Maybe ask her out and "forget" to call her / pick her up.

pigglet - that is cruel.

Battlefield - If I were you, I would write this one off to experience, and be more above board in future relationships.

Oh come on, it's not really cruel. I didn't say " Ask her over for a home-cooked meal, then tell her half-way through she's eating her pet dog/cat.." or anything. That would be cruel. The way I see it, this girl is playing games. Maybe she feels justified because of this previous impropriety concerning Battle cheating with her. Maybe she's just into games...either way, I see nothing wrong with playing games with people who started the playing.

All's fair in love and war.

All is not fair in love and war.

The fact that she is sending out mixed signals is not a justification to play emotional games.

That's all there is. Games. That's what life is. A big game. I like that - it puts the mystery and romance back into play. That doesn't mean that one can't, and shouldn't, take things seriously occasionally, but people have to earn the right to be taken seriously. Otherwise, I don't really see what horrible emotionally traumatic harm is going to come to this girl at this point, and I say you might as well have fun while you can. Gather your rosebuds. Dance in the rain puddles. Etc. Either way, I stand behind my request for Battle to have fun with this. Nothing that is actually "cruel," but if you think she's taking all this lightly, I don't see why Battle shouldn't as well.

ps. I've always thought that "All's fair in love in war" is a pretty crappy quote. Things aren't fair, period.

Sounds like revenge. And boy are you getting it.
Not to make this about me but I think maybe thats happening to me. :(
Anyway yeah cut your loses and move on. you didn't have that much emotional entanglement to begin with so you your healing time should be minimal if at all.

Yeah I did try playing games ...I would send her a text message saying I love her, she would say I love you back. Obviously we are both dicking around, perhaps assuming the other wasn't. For some reason I can't give it up.

Maybe it's that thing about wanting what you can't have...because I remember when I did have her I didn't want her.

Two wrongs never make a right.

I'd fuck with her emotions, screw it. If she wants to play games and be a little immature bitch then so be it.

Well man, this is how it seems to me. You're playing some little games (in my opinion, I'd be careful about games that involve the ILY phrase...those three words cause so many problems), and she's probably playing some games, but now you've got the bug. And she might not really be interested in anything out of this, which you would have to understand based on history. Keep playing around if you like and if you're having fun, but you're probably out of this round.

The only recourse I can see if you want to pull this thing out is the big conversation, because you've got nothing to lose as far as I can tell. The whole tell her how you feel / communicate deal, and see where the cards fall. Tried that yet?

When attention isn't guaranteed, it becomes a much more valued commodity. Don’t call or message or email. If you have any chance, she’ll initiate some sort of contact.

Run. Now. Screaming is optional.

bing bing is right. Dont contact her at ALL. Delete her from your MSN list so your not tempted. 1 of 2 things will happen:

1) She will think "Why isnt he calling me? Is there something wrong with me?" ...tables turned

or 2) you will be amazed at how easy it is to move past her after a week or so of NO contact.