la petite moi

I am 18 as of 22 April. Alright, so a few months ago, I finally told my mother that my boyfriend and I have been having sex. At the time, we had probably been going out for nine months. We use condoms occasionally, and we have to drive at least 15 minutes to get my birth control shots every three months (which hurts like crazy for me). My mother knows I'm safe.

However, now it's getting out of hand since she knows. She doesn't CARE necessarily, but she uses it to 'tease' me, of sorts. If I wanna go camping with him, it's so that we can get in a tent and fuck the whole time. If I go somewhere carrying a blanket when my boyfriend's around (I get cold very easily), she thinks I'm using it to cover up sex. If we go for a walk at night, she thinks we're going somewhere to fuck.

Tonight this is how the conversation goes:
Me: Mum, do you know any good places Nwlinkvxd and I can go camping?
Mum: No not really. (And actually, my mother goes camping and hiking every other week.)
Me: Sure you do.
Mum: Yeah, but if I tell you, you'll just try to avoid them since I like them...:snort:
Me: No, I won't.
My sister: Jeez, that's dumb Mum. The places you've been are beautiful.
Mum: So...you two are using a tent together eh??? :snort:
My sister: WHAT?!!! What's your problem???
Me: Nothing, (sister's name). She just thinks I'm having promiscuous sex.
Mum: No I'm not. You're just fucking your boyfriend...

My sister got SO pissed and shoved her out the door to our room. It's unfair that I try to be very safe and responsible with sex, and she just makes jokes about it.

Is there ANYTHING I can say or do to make her stop???

Harshaw

Time for a woman to woman talk. Sit her down and let her know that you don't appreciate the way she is treating you on this issue. I'm not a parent but I'm willing to bet the subject of a child having sex is sort of weird no matter what the age of the child is (13, 20, 40, whatever). It's no excuse for making so many jokes... I'd say talk to her.

My dad and I used to tease my brother all the time. One day I noticed he didn't spend a lot of time with me. I talked it over with him; turns out he didn't like all the teasing. If we hadn't talked, I would have never known; teasing is like the #2 way of showing affection in my family.

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SecretMethod70

based on the other stuff I've read about your mom recently, this doesn't surprise me. All I can say is I'm sorry to hear Why'd you feel obligated to tell your mom in the first place?

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DJ Happy

Maybe you should take the game to her.

Next time she says something along the lines of, "You're just going to fuck your boyfriend," respond with something like, "Maybe, if he he has anough juice left in the tank after I suck his cock and swallow his cum."

She might start getting more embarrassed than you are now and give up with the teasing. That's the theory, anyway.

Anomaly_

I'm curious why you felt it necessary to tell her. For some reason I think you knew how she would react; sometimes it's best that the inner-rebel keep quiet, especially when nothing constructive can come from opening your mouth.

la petite moi

I told her because one day I walked in and told her I was going some place with my boyfriend, and she just goes: 'Are you having safe sex?!'

I get nervous and just told her yes.

onetime2

Is she not getting any herself?

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zippy

get camping tips off the internet

dirtyrascal7

i don't want to make a lot of assumptions, but it almost seems like she's acting this way because she's not really sure how to deal with the fact that you're having sex. obviously she's not pissed about it, which is good... but it seems like she's having a hard time accepting it and thinking of it as a normal thing.

sure, you're old enough to do things like that on your own... but sometimes it's hard for parents to grasp that concept and let their children grow up.

try to see things from her point of view... really put yourself in her position and imagine how you'd feel. now think of your mother and what kind of person she is... why is she acting this way? does she typically make jokes about things that freak her out or make her uneasy? my guess is that's probably true...

what you need to do is try to get her to see that this is not a big deal. the more you react to her teasings, the more she's going to do it. just act like it doesn't bother you and ask her, "so, what if i am going to go have sex? what's the big deal?" just put her on the spot... most likely she'll back down and won't tease you again.

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Rlyss

This may not work for other people, but my response to teasing of that sort is to say 'Shh'.

I'm not kidding, either. Whenever people tease me about the same things la petite moi is talking about, I just give them a semi-stern look and say 'Shh'. It makes them feel pretty stupid for making a joke, it puts them in their place. Being told to 'Shh' is about the most belittling thing that can happen to you, you feel like a child when someone says 'Shh' and straight away you feel humiliated and regret making the joke.

It's always worked for me. Tell your mum to just give it a rest, she'll be quiet about it I think.

Sorry for the wordiness.

Johnny Rotten

I'm with SecretMethod. Once you're legally an adult, it's not right for you to feel obligated to fill in your mother about your sex life.

She also sounds jealous.

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NuckingFuts

I agree with the jealousy comment. She sounds like she could use some action of her own. However, you should prob just sit her down and tell her that this is bothering you. Hopefully she'll realize that it's in your relationship's interest to pipe down about the issue.

It could also be that this is something that seriously bothers her, and she's just cracking jokes about it in the hopes that you'll discuss things with her. Once again, sit her down and have a chat.

la petite moi

I talked to her and let her know I'm not just a horny beast looking for sex. She said she was sorry.

However, I know that once my mother got into college, she had lots of sex. So yeah, she doesn't have half the respect I do for sex. I feel sex is something between two people that are spending their lives together, and I let her know that.

I don't know how much sex my mother gets, but obviously not enough- my dad is a workaholic and a semi-prude (hence why I'm pretty sure he doesn't know that I'm sexually active). Hopefully she has gotten the point now, though, that I don't just always think about sex, and that it's not something to joke about.

Esco

Good for you! You did the right thing by approaching your mother. I'm sure she's having problems dealing with the situation but you seem like a very responsible and mature person. Your mother needs to respect you and your decisions, especially since you're 18.

Cynthetiq

Great! I'm glad that you finally are taking steps in moving towards her treating you like an adult.

It's not easy but it's not that hard either.

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denim

It still might be a good thing for your mom to get more sex of her own, but that's not something we can do anything about. She'll have to do that on her own.

...unless your dad is actually here and needs a hint.

la petite moi

HA! If my dad were here, he would murder me. He hates exhibitionists.

(He most likely would flame a lot of people here too, because he's very closed minded...he thinks homosexuals are vile. GRR.)