Xiangsu

Does it make you uncomfortable? I mean, if the guy is decent looking wouldn't you be a little afraid of him? I mean, your girlfriend may love you and not like this guy in that way at all. However, what about him? Isn't that the guy she is going to run to when she can't talk about something with you? And if this guy doesn't have a girlfriend, and isn't gay, then you never know what he is thinking about. He could, and probably does, have feelings about your girlfriend that are a little more than friendly?

Just a couple insecurities to think about, you can't trust other guys. Unless they are your close friend, and even then its still a little...you know...

If you had a choice over whether all your girlfriends best friends were decent looking, nice guys, or all girls I am sure the majority of you would choose all girls.

***On a side note: If you want to post differently than your vote to stay out of trouble with your gf's, its ok. I'm looking for honesty here.***

tecoyah

If my wife was ever interested in someone other than myself.....I would need to re-evaluate my own excellence. As it is, should she wander, she knows the loss will be hers.

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Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. - Buddha

Mephex

I vote : I don't really mind at all, I trust her.

You know, this really seems to be a problem from within. In order to be in a successful relationship, imo, it needs to be based on trust. If you are insecure, then that'll lead to more problems then just her cheating on you.

If you trust "her", then "he" isn't an issue. Right ?

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He who is void of virtuous attachments in private life is, or very soon will be, void of all regard for his country.
There is seldom an instance of a man guilty of betraying his country, who had not before lost the feeling of moral obligations in his private connections.
-Samuel Adams

wilbjammin

My worry wouldn't so much be that she'd want to cheat on me or anything, but that the guy isn't really a good friend. I don't like hanging out with people that aren't good friends to me, and I don't want my girlfriend to hang out with people that aren't good to her.

I worry more about her girlfriends, actually. Girls have a way of being so mean and manipulative to each other, and I've seen how it can hurt Janet. How frustrating it is for her.

Good people are hard to come by.

More importantly though, if you can't trust your girlfriend, what kind of relationship do you really have? It is ok to worry about those who you love, but trust them and expect them to always try to do the right thing.

There's no good in living in fear. And if you are worried about something, then talk to her about it.

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Innominate.

Cynthetiq

ummm... I don't trust the guy, I trust my wife.

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maleficent

There was a scene in the movie When Harry Met Sally (chick flick), where Harry makes the assertion that men and women could never be friends because sex gets in the way. That men just always want to have sex with that woman, with any woman really, it doesnt matter.

Now, in my experience I don't see that being the case, my closest friends are male, and their girlfriends/wives might get a tad miffed if they stepped out.

Can you gents be friends with a woman, and not have sex come into play, or is Harry right, that you just want to nail that comes into your line of vision. If you can be friends with a woman, without having illicit thoughts, then why couldn't your girlfriend be friends with a man?

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Eugeni

That's my view too, I trust my girlfriend, not the guy.

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titular

World's King

I'm a jealous piece of shit.

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heavy is the head that wears the crown

SAM821

yea, my last ex girlfriend (for over a year) had a lot of good guy friends, that she would hang out with... needless to say it was a difficult relationship, Its hard to not feel a little worried, i used to always tell her its not her, its the guys im worried about...

bottom line, everyone is jealous to some extent, its natural, but there is only so much a person can take, i wasnt comfortable with it, so enough was enough...

kel

I could care less. I doubt anyone has the physical prowess, emotional maturity, intellectual capabilities, and personality to compete with me.

That, and I know she would be loyal even if I treated her like dogshit. Her last boyfriend did it for 4 years...

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"It better be funny"

Schwan

Hey, I know that guy - most of the time I'm him. This is why I would trust my girlfriend, but not that friend guy, because he just wants one thing ^_^.

frozenstellar

i trust her. i trust all her friends, her friends = my friends.

except one.

mirevolver

I'd trust her. After all, relationships are supposed to be built on trust and communication.

Don't ask me how it happened because I really don't know, but I recently realized that the majority of my friends are women. Sure, I've had the occasional illicit thought invilving them, but it's quickly dismissed. I pride myself on being loyal and there is no way I'd break my loyalty to my SO.

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doncalypso

Given that I've been cheated on twice before (in past relationships) I am very paranoid and would keep my eyes wide open if my girlfriend had many guy friends.

Let's face it.... I'm not the most handsome man in the world, and I'm not God's gift to women either, so I'd always be on the lookout (albeit in a discreet fashion) for any signs she might be going astray. And the only way I'd be 100% worry-free about her having guy friends is if I knew for a fact that they're gay--but then again, I'd be watchful to make sure they're not friends with her as a means to try to get to me though (and in case you are wondering, yes I do come from a very homophobic background).

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saut

I don't really mind my girlfriend's guy friends. I trust her a LOT, at least, and they seem like decent people, so I have no reason not to trust them.

Her and my female friends, however, is a slightly different story. She's been a little jealous of me spending much time with them sometimes, but I think we've gotten past that -- she knows me well enough and trusts me too.

Charlatan

I could care less...

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- Old Man Luedecke

onetime2

I don't necessarily have a problem with it. I trust her. I don't trust most of the guy friends though. Quite a few are just hanging around for an opportunity to move in should the chance arise. But hey, I can't keep her locked in the basement all the time.

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Strive to be more curious than ignorant.

DJ Happy

No offence to the chaps who said that you trusted your gfs but you don't trust the guys, but if you trust your gfs then what's the problem? To my amateur psychiatrist mind, saying that is just a way of saying that you want to trust your gf but don't.

I used to date a girl who was a "late bloomer." She was kind of weird looking in highschool, but became a ravishing beauty during college (lucky me). She was constantly being pursued by guys she used to go to school with who wanted a piece of her after seeing how she turned out. Although I knew this was going on, it didn't bother me in the slightest. I trusted her and knew that none of them were going to get anywhere.

Besides, it gave me a weird kind of power trip knowing that all these guys wanted to fuck the girl I got to go to bed with every night. They could try all they wanted, but at the end of the day she'd still come home to me.

Or maybe I'm just talking crap. I don't know. It's late and I'm tired.

onetime2

They are totally separate things in my mind. I trust my fiance and don't expect anything to happen between her and them. Not liking the fact that they are hanging around waiting for an opportunity is different than being worried that she's going to cheat on me with them.

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Strive to be more curious than ignorant.

Sparhawk

I'd be lying if I said I was completely cool with it. My ex cheated on me with her best friend (guy) when I joined the military. So I do get a little twinge when I'm in a serious relationship, and she says she's going out with her guy friend. But I try to take every relationship as a clean slate, and not let previous women impact my relationship with the next.

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jayman2004

i feel very comfy with it.....I know she sees me as the steak/lobster/caviar of her life....plus having sex all the time easens my worries...

majik_6

I used to be 110% trusting of the male friends, but my last two relationships have made me more than just a little uneasy about it.

The first serious relationship I was in, I found out later that the girl's two closest male friends were just waiting for their chance, and eventually one got it (within days of us breaking up).

With my second relationship, a guy that she worked with (and was friends with) started putting the moves on her, and she's now with him.

In both of these situations, I trusted the girl, and occasionally trusted the guys (but not always), but I was proven wrong. Even if they WERE just friends while we were together, the guys obviously had another agenda.


And, oh yeah, I'm a jealous motherfucker. I know it's something I should work on (and I am), but that doesn't change the fact that I am a very jealous guy.

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it's all about self-indulgence

StephenSa

I used to be a jealous guy but now that I'm all grown up I'm much more reasonable. If my girl is going to leave me for someone else my getting all pumped up over her guy friends isn't going to help. If my girl was going out to dance clubs with them and spending an inordinate amount of time with other guys I might be a bit perturbed but all in all I have to trust her until she gives me reason not to. I'd have to say I'd worry more about her girl friends. If her girl friends decide they don't like you they can do a lot of convincing to your girl that she can do better.

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gondath

After seeing how my friends act towards women already with boyfriends, I don't trust any men period. Let's see, two of them are with girls they stole away from otehr guys. One was waiting for his chance even though the girl was getting married soon. These aren't the scumbag type either. I'd rate them as close to "good guys" as you're likely to see. The point is that people cannot be trusted completely. It's only a matter of what you can trust them with. I'd let her keep guy friends with my careful supervision.

MSD

I'm not the jealous type. I have female friends who are trustworthy enough to stick with the guys they're with and not run off. I wouldn't do anything with someone who was in a relationship, and I wouldn't be with anyone who would.

skier

I trust neither the girl nor the guy. The guy wants sex, the girl wants what she thinks is best for her. I just make sure I'm what she thinks is best for herself, and I'm fine.

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dirtyrascal7

bingo.

the problem i've run into is that the guys have no respect for the fact that my girl is taken. one guy actually said to her "well i don't see a ring on your finger... so it doesn't count. your boyfriend must not be that serious."

of course, i'd like to add that some girls aren't all peaches and cream when it comes to respecting others' relationships. it's not just a guy thing.

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killklaus

If she is open and tells you about her guy friends... Thats good. My girlfriend introduces me to all her guy friends in hopes that we would hit it off and also become friends.

If it seems like she hides or avoids talking about them, than you may have a reason to be sorta cautious.

WarWagon

Where is he? I'm gonna kick his ass.

*Nikki*

My boyfriend doesn't care at all about my guy friends.

Or at least he has never acted like he did in front of me.

zounds

Just because you trust your girlfriend or wife doesnt mean she won't cheat on you. People give in to temptation all the time - even the most trustworthy and loyal people. Even if you think "She would NEVER..." , things have a funny way of playing out sometimes. And as far as I'm concerned, any guy with a healthy libido cannot be good friends with a girl without thinking about having sex with her.

rockzilla

Almost every woman I've ever dated has had way more guy friends than girl friends, and as far as I know, I've never been cheated on.
Either way, It's never bugged me.

coyote

Oh they are harmless she says. I always ask her, if you took off your clothes and said do me. what we they do. Usually proves my point.

Rlyss

It's true, anyone can say they'll never cheat and then proceed to cheat, but in my relationships (been cheated on once, but there was a whole karma thing going on there) I've always trusted the other person.

If my partner has lots of male friends, and I don't consider them my friends, then she's the one I trust. I can be worried and paranoid as anything, but at the end of the day, as far as I'm concerned, until she cheats then it's a non-issue. Once she cheats there's no reason to stick around, but until that happens, it's the same whether she has male friends or not.

As I said, she's the one I trust until it's broken, not until I start getting paranoid thoughts. In that case it's me that's causing the problem by distrusting her, even though the only cheating going on is in my paranoid imagination.

About what coyote said, I think that's where the line is between 'her' male friends and 'our' male friends. If she were to take off her clothes and say "Do me" to her male friend while she's in a relationship, and shennanigans commenced, then I don't blame the guy. Well, I do, but I never had a bond of trust with him, did I? I had that bond of trust with my partner and she broke it by doing that.

If the male friends are 'our' male friends, rather than 'hers', then I think it's a bit different. The bond of trust between partners has been broken, as has the one between friends, and then I don't see any reason why those people are a girlfriend and a friend anymore.

Luki

I have often found that someone in a relationship who is afraid there partner is cheating on them has durring their relationship cheated or thought about cheating. Somwtimes it is very waranted.

But I gotta tell you, with guy friends it is so much easier and less dramatic. Girls tend to dramatize everything and I prefer my guy friends over my girlfriends. And I'm very glad that my boyfriend understands. I think alot of his trust has to do with the fact that I don't lie to him and I don't try to hide anything. And he knows that if he wanted to he could come with us and hang out.

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wallace1

Honestly, I don't think that there is any (relatively attractive) woman that I meet that I don't think about having sex with, even if they are just fleeting thoughts. In speaking to my other male friends I do not seem to be alone in this.. It seems to me from past experience that male/female "friendships" don't seem to just stay "friendly" Then again, I might just be a pig.

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water_boy1999

I have a really bad habit of picking out girls who say they are in love...or deep like with me then end up getting burned in the end. I like to think I am not the jealous type, but like you say, men do have their tendencies to not give a shit if the woman is taken or not. A lot of them....not all.

It works both ways though. If a woman tends to be flirtatious, which a large majority of them are, then they usually give guys the impression that there might be something there besides friendship or a casual acquaintence.

I do believe that trust must exist when two people are together, but when one party says one thing, but then they act differently when you are not there, it leaves some room for jealousy.

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YaWhateva

I am fine with my girlfriend having guy friends, as long as they are guys that I know I can beat the shit out of if the need arises.

Just kidding, I trust my girlfriend and know that she would not succumb to temptation because of everything that has gone in to our relationship. If she did, apparently she did not want someone to love her, she wanted someone to fuck her.

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mattsull85

Blah. My girlfriend has basically all guy friends, and to top it off, she's hooked up with or dated all of them in high school. Now that she's back in her hometown for the summer (an hour from me), who knows what will happen. It's a little worrying, but I trust her.

Wayngo

You can trust all you want, but it only takes that one moment of weakness when you may be having an argument to screw it all up and make her think about that other guy for a second. And thats all it takes for something to happen. Especially if the guy has other intentions. If she rather talk to him in times of problems, your pretty much screwed anyway.