I can't orgasm :(
 

A few months ago I went through depression and had tried a number of different anti-depressants to help me work through it. I finally found one that worked for me but it turns out one of the symptoms to it is inability to orgasm. Occasionally and very rarely do I orgasm, and it's not even that sensitive or fun. It's more like a sigh of relief when I do actually get off instead of actually enjoying the moment. Now I'm currently single and am just masterbating, and have tried different porn, some a little more exotic than fit my tastes, and they haven't helped. That doesn't appear to be the issue since I can get erect pretty much whenever I feel the urge to get off, but I can't actually get off. The anti-depressants are working fine though and I'm really reluctant to get off of this one given that I had to go through 6 different meds before finally finding one that worked for me. It's almost like I'm stuck choosing between not feeling depressed but not having a healthy sexual lifestyle.


So I'm curious if there's any advice from you readers out there. Any tips to help me get off? If I can describe what it feels like, it just feels numb the whole time I'm stroking it, but it stays hard as a rock. So frustrating!

I think the best thing to do is don't think about it so much. I know that when I focus really hard on trying to orgasm, it becomes much harder to. :(

During college, I was in the exact same situation. Don't have any advice for you though...for me, I got to the point where I was so frustrated that my anti-depressents took the pleasure out of my sex life, I eventualy came off them. I never found a way to circumvent it, sadly. Anyway, doesn't help your problem, but just wanted to let you know you weren't alone.

Set aside some time. Hopefully you have a patient man. He needs to just work till it happens.

Have you considered toys?

Wouldn't happen to be Paxil, would it?

If its that important to you, I suggest trying another medication. Unfortunately this is a common side effect of various antidepressants. I was having difficulty even becoming aroused when I was on Paxil.

maybe you could try "milking the prostate" like the do in the movie 'road trip'?

or have you tried a fifi*?



*credit to xepidemic for posting the original link here

You lucky guy. You could probably go all night!
Stop taking the medication if you can deal with the cause of the depression.

Paxil is exactly what it is. I'd get off it if it wasn't the only antidepressant I've tried that's actually been effective.

I'm on Zoloft and sometimes I can't cum because on it. But I was on it for years before this side-effect started.
Have you tried Zoloft?

i think at some point you're gonna hafta make the same desicion that pellaz did, and figure out whether the cure is better or worse than the disease. i would wean myself off and see how that affected my general outlook on life and how it affected you sexually.

beyond self-medication, i would suggest getting out more and joining groups that have activities that you enjoy doing to replace the medication's effect. get out and do positive, healthy, constructive things and see if that affects your general outlook on life any more than taking a pill did.

Talk to your doctor - there are some medications and herbal remedies that can counter the sexual side effects of antidepressants. Your doc might also try changing the dosage. Are you on Paxil or Paxil CR (controlled release)? The CR is what I'm on, and because it's a timed release, it has fewer side effects and they're less severe. I was anorgasmic for a while when I first started taking it, and it happens every once in a while now, still, but it's rare. You can try the usual herbal remedies for this kind of thing - drink lots of ginseng tea, eat a lot of garlic, blah blah blah, but bottom line is talk to your doctor and see if you can either get on the Paxil CR, change the doseage, or take something else to counter the sexual side effects. Good luck! This is so fucking frustrating, I know. Oh, and exercise regularly - that'll help, too.

Watch those "all natural" herbal remedies while on prescription meds.

Have an honest talk with your doctor -- I'm sure there's alternatives he/she can suggest.

Whenever I hear about a person on anti-depressants I always try to point them to a nutritionalist. A small system imbalance can wreak havok on your mental health. I am not a DR. but if I were in your shoes, I would try to isolate what your body is missing or has an overabundance of, examine what has changed in your diet, and take quality multivitimins. Diet and exercise fix many problems. Good luck to you.

I agree with Boo.
Life is depressing.
I don't think the problem is always with you. I think it's natural to feel badly when bad things happen.

get a good man.... and have him work you from dusk to dawn and wine and dine you...