Averett

It had to be done

Heard:
Dont move! pant pant... Okay, move!

Said:
Laughter at above statement
Ow! (after knocking myself in the head with my own foot )

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Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.

la petite moi

Heard:
Here, can we do this? :shifting into some weird position:
Do you like this?
I love you.

Said (in reply to those above):
Pant pant pant...This isn't working...
:nod nod:
I...l-l-love... -or- :whisper: I love you too?

And...
HEHEH DID YOU HEAR ME QUEEF?!?!? HEHEHEH...

SabrinaFair

I seem to remember asking, "Can we go get something to eat?" during a sex session. I was bored at the moment, and about twenty pounds heavier at the time. We ended up getting dressed and going to get pizza.

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"With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy."
-Desiderata

wraithhibn

Oddest thing I've ever heard was "Fuck me Daddy, Fuck Me!" This girl was defnitely into the passion, and didnt even remember saying it. It gives me a good laugh to bring it up.

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If you won't dress like the Victoria Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

la petite moi

Yeah, my boyfriend once asked: Who's your daddy?

And then he also told me that I look healthy down there.

I like bringing it up for a good laugh, too. I'll call him Dr (Last Name). Heh.

kl0pper

ive gotten "is it in yet"
thankfully, no it wasnt

micah67

Heard: "Fuck me, baby!"
Said in reply: "I love you, too."

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~micah

-Anders

Well, as I've only had sex once, the funniest thing I ever said was *Phhrrtt*.
And yes, that is the sound you make when you squeeze her titties together and blow, making a farting-noise.
Thankfully she had a sence of humor

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Signature 101

Ace_O_Spades

Heard: A lot of crazy stuff (hehehe fallenangel)

Said: A lot of crazy stuff back

let's just leave it at that

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Feh.

rockzilla

Heard - "Are you sure this is a good idea?" (I had broken my ankle that morning)
Said - "Nope" (but I kept going anyways)

fallenangel

^ - Ohhh dear... /me *blushes furiously*

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all I wanna do is - give the best of me to you

feelgood

Heard - "My parent's home!"
Said - "Fuck em"

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Looking out the window, that's an act of war. Staring at my shoes, that's an act of war. Committing an act of war? Oh you better believe that's an act of war

bparker805

Said to me by an exgf:

I am not sucking that after its been in my ass.

but the funniest thing i ever heard was a noise she made after having sex in an uncomfortable place, and Im not talking about the backseat of a VW.

la petite moi

Sounds like the time Nwlinkvxd and I had sex the next day after I had gotten my wisdom teeth out.

Or when he induced a period. 'Oh look, you're bleeding...oh well.'

LiquidSquid

Heard:
"Wow, that feels amaz-, ow. No, too far."
"Where the hell did you learn to.. *dissolves into gibberish*"

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"There cannot be good living where there is not good drinking." - Benjamin Franklin

Wazer

While I was 17, during the night of girlfriend's 18th birthday.

Said:
"Hows does child abuse feels?!"

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"Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo."
- H. G. Wells

la petite moi

Eh....

sub zero

No no no no no please no!!! (said as I was pulling out of her and threatening to get dressed)

__________________
Did you Google it yet?

Join the TFP Typing team!!

Paq

Heard: "BRANDI!!! WHAT IS THAT IN YOUR MOUTH?!?!?!?" "What does it look like"

it went downhill from there...

(we were on the couch and her mother walked in..)

Things said by my partner during sex...wow, umm..lemme think, "I've been doing my excercises, can you tell"
Me: "deep moan" (PCG excercises)


her..:"Don't get it in my hair"
me: "Whooopsie"

there are others...

__________________
Live.

Chris

ZenkiChica

hehehehe i love kevin smith
my favorite was when i was on top of this guy and he kept sayin "thatta girl.." i dunno why but it was a turn on
one time i asked a guy how his father was doing... i guess i was gettin bored but he didn't seem to like the fact that i was thinking about his dad during sex

SpikeQX99

She's on top grinding away, and she's gotten up a pretty good sweat, and I hear,

"your turn to do the work, I'm tired!"

Never really thought about it like work. But it's really one of the few jobs I couldn't complain about doing!

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I'm so in love with a girl... she is my everything

SixEdxMia

I have a filthy mouth and anyone who doesn't will be gagged for good reason.

My last sexual encounter went something like this.....
I don't remember what he had to say,Wasn't important.
I remember saying..


Mmmmm fuck. Yes Daddy,I am your sweet little whore,Spit on me so I can bounce on your big cock,uh huh... mmmmm yeah,I fucking love you too Sir.Spank my ass?..Smack!Harder please Sir?Smack!I want more,fuck me harder, more,more,more.Hold my hair tightly,hold my throat too...C'mere and fuck my pretty mouth.Oh yea,Give me more,C'mon untie me,Let me touch you....Bite my shoulder,Hurt me Sir,I deserve it.Harder,faster,hold me tighter,Dont be soft,Break me in two you sexy fucker.Why wont you hurt me?.. Fuck me proper you pussy,I need it.uh..um.. babe.. don't slow down...whatsa matter? C'mon,untie me,Are you okay? Soft?... it's fucking soft..You are soft,You fuck like a fairy,I can't believe I scared you,You are a pussy,I like this game!I love this game! You cracked like a14 year old girl.. Pussy! (sound of bong shattering) I'm going to sit under the water,You should go home.

Needless to say..I'm single and he wants to marry me.


If anyone is an experienced player of... that game.. pm me.

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Honey,We're home.

hu-man

I put on my robe and wizard hat...

-Anders

SCORE!

Anywho, I just got laid last night, and lots and lots of things were said that night.
While i was fingering her ass while we were at it doggy-style she told me that I needed to get my finger out, she couldn't focus enough on just the regular sex :P

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Signature 101

Memnoch

Heard: "OooOOooo-" *thunk*"-ow, fuck" (she hit her head on the wall while tossing her head in what I would assume was ecstacy)

Said: "It's just some salsa to go with the taco..."

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Doing my best not to end up like Kathleen Chang.

minyn

Heard- "i cant do this to both of you at the same time, you have to play rock, paper, scissors of something"

Said - "well fuck me"
Heard- "just did"
said - "good point"

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"Woke up this morning with a blue moon in my eye"
~A3 "woke up this morning"

"Don't compromise yourself, you're all you've got." -Janis Joplin

stevie667

heard- you bastards better not be out there smoking without me! (have to love stoner chicks )


heard- will you fucking stop shagging next to me, it's hard enough to skin up on this bed as it is (once again, you have to love stoner chicks)
said- allow that
heard- right, ok, thats it, if your not gona let me skin up, i'm just gona have to join in


said-i can't believe i'm not gona remember this tomorrow


heard-i'm having a threesome!
I said- no-one gives a fucking damn amy!
mate said- wheres em and jane?
*scramble to get upstairs'

SixEdxMia

Are we going to tell your wife? : X

I wish that your brother would have stayed longer......

and You'd better clean that fucking mess up!

and to the one boy...Fuck up.love,fuck up.

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Honey,We're home.

TheBrit

Friend told me this story:
OK, her and her boyfriend have a mutual female friend called Deeba.
She is lying back, he boyfriend is fingering her, she moans "Ooh, deeper", but doesn't form her p that well. There was an awkward silence, followed by laughter.

ruggerp11

said: Saddle up
*confused look

heard: Jesus Christ I just came five times, I did't know I could do that (felt pretty good to hear)

also heard: whoa, look at the couch (huge wet spot)

I wish I had some funny ones but unfortuantly I do not, though I think an old gf passed out during sex for a min or two (I was pretty lit my self) cause I was fucking her from behind and smacking her ass really hard and I got no response at all. I only noticed when I looked back. mainly its just the usual "you like that don't you?" and "tell me you fucking like that"

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Patriotism means being loyal to your country all the time and to its government when it deserves it.
--Mark Twain
Do What makes you happy
--Me
BUT!
"Happiness is the absence of the striving for happiness" - Chuang-Tzu

Paq

gf's passing out is fun...

just find that spot and keep her there until she just goes dead

ahh..memories

__________________
Live.

Chris

analog

Man, my ex was like that- I loved that about her. The "i'm your slut, daddy" game is the best. Nothing better for rough sex than that, and nothing better than good, rough sex.

Esoteric

Heard: "Aye Papi"
Moans, deep breathing.

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From a head full of pressure rests the senses that I clutch
Made a date with Divinity, but she wouldn't let me fuck
I got touched by a hazy shaded, God help me change
Caught a rush on the floor from the life in my veins

bender

Heard: " Oh shit my dad's home ! AND HE'S A COP !!!"
ME: pants pants where the hell are my pants.

:::OshnSoul:::

HIM: "damn, you make me want to just burst!" -or something to that extent....

I love hearing that.......

wytethorn

best one for me

heard: Are we running a marathon (during a long session)

and from a friend and his wife

heard: lets change possions (shuffle, thunk) ouch the floor is hard..

DDDDave

don't......

stop.......

don't.....

stop......

no,... don't.... stop...

__________________
I am just a simple man trying to make my way in the universe...

"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined." - Thoreau

"Nothing great was ever accomplished without enthusiasm" - Emerson

Impisheye

Him....." oh oh Mrs. Simpson"

Me in the act with sons best friend...." fine ...gasp...for you to call me *****"

PDOUBLEOP

BOOYAH!

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ef you-you effing ef

Paq

"is that a cat licking my ass?"

__________________
Live.

Chris