Post-Sex Guilt - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Luki · 04-14-2004, 10:51 AM

Ok, something that's really been bothering me for abit is that after doing any kind of sex act I feel this enormous guilt, like I'd let myself down. I have no problems while I am doing said act. But afterwards I just feel so depressed and guilty.

I don't believe what I've done is wrong but I still feel guilty is there a reason?

Am I the only one that feels this way?

Is there a chemical reasoning for this problem?

This I think is the cause of my not wanting sex at all the last few months. It would be really helpful if anyone could help me out.

Thanks

Nancy · 04-14-2004, 11:23 AM

My current boyfriend told me that he had the exact same problem when he was younger. He felt great during the act but then afterwards he felt nothing but guilt.

He thinks that the reason was that he never got the whole deal about sex explained by his parents and so he probably got the idea that sex was a dirty/bad thing since his parents didn't talk to him about it...

he told me, though, that the guilt disappeared after a while. I guess he figured out that sex is a perfectly natural/healthy thing

I don't know if that's the deal with you too because I don't know your background or current situation but just give it some time and see if it doesn't eventually fade away

jazz · 04-14-2004, 01:16 PM

Do you love the person you are having sex with..or even like them a lot? Are you in a relationship with them? Feelings of guilt could be coming from you just having sex because it feels good at the time, but when all is said and done there are no emotions involved in it. I have a friend who has sex whenever her boyfriend wants even though she doesn't want to. She gives in and feels miserable afterwards because none of her needs emotionally were met. She just wants make sure he is satisfied.

Luki · 04-14-2004, 01:30 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by jazz
Do you love the person you are having sex with..or even like them a lot? Are you in a relationship with them? Feelings of guilt could be coming from you just having sex because it feels good at the time, but when all is said and done there are no emotions involved in it.

I am no longer in that relationship(it's actually been awhile) but this is stopping me from doing things currently and possibly in the future. I did love the man(The man I was with).

Quote:

Originally posted by jazz
I have a friend who has sex whenever her boyfriend wants even though she doesn't want to. She gives in and feels miserable afterwards because none of her needs emotionally were met. She just wants make sure he is satisfied.

I think you may be onto something here, I had never thought about it that way. Now that I look back at the relationship I was in, when having sex, I think you may be onto something

skysooner · 04-14-2004, 01:36 PM

This may be a totally stupid question, but have you ever had problems with hypoglycemia (i.e. blood sugar dropping precipitously when you don't eat or you exert yourself)? I have often found myself getting depressed when I exert myself, and I haven't eaten anything or ate the wrong things (i.e. alcohol or candy). It feels like the world is caving in until I eat something. I often have to mentally ask myself if something is bothering me about a situation to justify my reaction. Most of the time it is because I haven't eaten recently. A quick snack fixes it. Sometimes these things are simpler than they appear. The other possibility is a chemical reaction to some medication you might be on. I would absolutely meet with a doctor concerning this if you are taking prescription medication (particularly if it is something new).

Aladdin Sane · 04-14-2004, 08:12 PM

When I was younger I had exactly this same problem. After sex I would have this overwhelming feeling of remorse and depression. I would be laying there with a beautiful, sexy, naked girl in my arms and I would feel completely alone.
Maybe it's a chemical reaction in the brain?

Luki, do you experience these feelings of guilt at any other time? Do you have problems with depression? I had chronic depression for years. After I started taking drugs, it stopped, along with the post-sex bleakness.

04-14-2004, 10:51 AM	#1 (permalink)
Luki Crazy Location: Central Illinois	Post-Sex Guilt Ok, something that's really been bothering me for abit is that after doing any kind of sex act I feel this enormous guilt, like I'd let myself down. I have no problems while I am doing said act. But afterwards I just feel so depressed and guilty. I don't believe what I've done is wrong but I still feel guilty is there a reason? Am I the only one that feels this way? Is there a chemical reasoning for this problem? This I think is the cause of my not wanting sex at all the last few months. It would be really helpful if anyone could help me out. Thanks __________________ Your part is silent you little toad - a line from the new phantom of the opera

04-14-2004, 11:23 AM	#2 (permalink)
Nancy Femme Fatale Location: Elysium	My current boyfriend told me that he had the exact same problem when he was younger. He felt great during the act but then afterwards he felt nothing but guilt. He thinks that the reason was that he never got the whole deal about sex explained by his parents and so he probably got the idea that sex was a dirty/bad thing since his parents didn't talk to him about it... he told me, though, that the guilt disappeared after a while. I guess he figured out that sex is a perfectly natural/healthy thing I don't know if that's the deal with you too because I don't know your background or current situation but just give it some time and see if it doesn't eventually fade away __________________ I have all the characteristics of a human being: blood, flesh, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust. Something horrible is happening inside of me and I don't know why. My nightly bloodlust has overflown into my days. I feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy. I think my mask of sanity is about to slip.

04-14-2004, 01:16 PM	#3 (permalink)
jazz Upright	Do you love the person you are having sex with..or even like them a lot? Are you in a relationship with them? Feelings of guilt could be coming from you just having sex because it feels good at the time, but when all is said and done there are no emotions involved in it. I have a friend who has sex whenever her boyfriend wants even though she doesn't want to. She gives in and feels miserable afterwards because none of her needs emotionally were met. She just wants make sure he is satisfied. __________________ "Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives." -Michael Dermott

04-14-2004, 08:12 PM	#6 (permalink)
Aladdin Sane Degenerate Location: San Marvelous	When I was younger I had exactly this same problem. After sex I would have this overwhelming feeling of remorse and depression. I would be laying there with a beautiful, sexy, naked girl in my arms and I would feel completely alone. Maybe it's a chemical reaction in the brain? Luki, do you experience these feelings of guilt at any other time? Do you have problems with depression? I had chronic depression for years. After I started taking drugs, it stopped, along with the post-sex bleakness. __________________ Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

04-14-2004, 01:36 PM	#5 (permalink)
skysooner Registered User Location: Oklahoma	This may be a totally stupid question, but have you ever had problems with hypoglycemia (i.e. blood sugar dropping precipitously when you don't eat or you exert yourself)? I have often found myself getting depressed when I exert myself, and I haven't eaten anything or ate the wrong things (i.e. alcohol or candy). It feels like the world is caving in until I eat something. I often have to mentally ask myself if something is bothering me about a situation to justify my reaction. Most of the time it is because I haven't eaten recently. A quick snack fixes it. Sometimes these things are simpler than they appear. The other possibility is a chemical reaction to some medication you might be on. I would absolutely meet with a doctor concerning this if you are taking prescription medication (particularly if it is something new).