Smoking and the Girlfriend...
 

I dunno if this is the right place to post this but ah well...
Had a bit of a mini confrontation about Smoking with my girlfriend this afternoon. She is trying to quit (which i like to think that i'm really supportive of... ), I CANT STAND cigarettes, the smell/taste/anything about them! Now I work in a pub so I deal with smoking all the time but when it comes to a relationship it kida 'revolts' me so to speak. I don't find it attractive at all.
Today I was asked 'would you leave someone over smoking' meaning 'would we stay together if i kept smoking'. I told her that in the long run i'd have to think about it.
Honest? yes. Poor choice of words. YES!
Anyways all is resolved now, BUT what would you guys/girls do in this situation? What do you smokers/non smokers think of the other?
-T

i wouldn't date someone who was more than a social smoker. i like the occasional cigar or whatnot, but i don't smoke indoors (at my place, bar is different) because i don't want all my clothes and other stuff smelling like smoke. so if i were to start dating a social smoker, as long as she didn't become a full time smoker, i'd have no real problem. smoke mouth sucks, but if you really like/love her, then i think that can be dealt with.

I personally hate when a guy tries to make a girl quit for them. They should only do it when its right and they are ready. Otherwise there is a damn good chance they will end up sneaking behind your back and doing it anyways. I have had many friedns who have done that.

you can't change anybody, but you can share your feelings. If you push her too much, she will rebell or walk away for good.

I feel exactly like you Hockeyguy about smoking. I have a personal rule that I will not go out with a smoker. My present GF had to quit if she wanted to be with me. Its her choice if she smokes but its my choice if I want to be with a smoker. Thankfully she has quit. It wasnt easy for her considering that all her friends smoke but she did it anyway. But we both know that if she ever decides to take it up again then our relationship is over. Thats how repulsive I find the habit of smoking

I wouldn't date a smoker, and I didn't marry one. If my wife took up smoking, I don't know what would come out of that... A crisis in the marriage, no doubt. I don't like the idea of telling someone what to do, or not do, but in my case, the smell of cigarettes is one thing that almost never fails to give a huge and quite painful migraine, complete with vomiting, cold sweat, shakes, etc.

I don't see how I could LIVE with a smoker. I try not to socialize with them to begin with, at all.

Smoking is for idiots, anyway.

Being an asthmatic, I could never be with a smoker. Aside from health reasons, I still would not get involved with anyone who smokes anything other than the occassional cigar (but that would have to be outside and away from me). I believe that if someone cares for me enough to want to be with me, he will have to take my health into consideration. And if he chose to quit so he could be with me, I'd be totally supportive. If he chose not to quit, then maybe we could reach a compromise, but the relationship would have to be on the verge of serious.

I'm strongly against smoking, for myself and friends because of obvious health reasons, and quite honestly, it tastes horrific to kiss someone who has been smoking at all. However, if they were smoking before you met them, you really don't have a considerably large say in things. I suppose it would depend on how serious you were about each other really.

Things change per situation i believe. Each couple and what they are set in is different.

I'm not sure that I could date somebody who was a smoker.

There was a guy who I was interested in a few years ago who smoked, and it made me wary. Oh, and he was also a Yankee fan, and I'm not sure I could take him home to meet my Dad in that case! :lol:

I've made out with smokers, and I can't remember being able to taste the smoke. But I don't think I could date somebody that smoked in the long run.

Women who smoke are a huge turn-off for me..

Mmm... I don't mind the occasional smoker. It's only a problem for me when they smoke 24/7. THEN you have a problem.

I always swore to myself that I'd never date a smoker but I ended up being in a three year relationship with one anyway.

Was the smoking an issue? Yes. He tried to quit many, many times but never stuck with it. And each time I'd have to deal with his super crabby I-just-quit-smoking attitude.

I tried not to push him to quit. I tried to be supportive. I tried to ignore that he was quitting. But he always ended up smoking again.

The relationship ended to a number of reasons, but I know next time that I'm definitely sticking to my no-smokers rule.

yup!

I'm glad that I'm never gonna have to deal with this particular problem since my loverboy and I don't smoke. But if he did I wouldn't date him.

a lot of my friends and most of my family smoke but they always show consideration for the fact that I hate the smell (+ it gives me migraines) so they always go out side to smoke. So no problem there. But a boyfriend who smokes? No thanks pal

I wouldn't go out with a smoker, it just repulses me to kiss a girl who has just smoked. Plus everything they own stinks really bad. Other than those fairly superficial things, I think that there would be a lot of deeper problems that would be introduced into the relationship because of smoking, like when she tries to quit, wants to smoke somewhere that I don't want her to, (like my car or in my house) or smokes behind my back if we tried to "quit together". Lot of stupid problems that I don't want anything to do with.

she needs to realize that her smoking doesn't only affect her. If she wants to continue, then you are right to say you'd think about it. That's not trying to change her, thats you weighing the pros and cons and going with your truth.

Man, Let me get this straight, You would dump your girlfriend simply because you find smoking repressive and disgusting? That's just sad, just plain sad.

Why?

Well, simply put: If I was dating a woman who I very much like and she feels the same for me. I would think that smoking is just a small minor flaw in her character. After all, isn't minor flaw in the person you're in love with is what makes you love them? No human being is perfect. If everybody were perfect human beings then love wouldn't exist.

So, what I'm saying is that I wouldn't dump my girlfriend just because she smokes, I'd think that there would be more to the relationship than just the smoking part.

I find it completely repulsive. I don't have the same violent reactions as Prince, but it does make me cough if breathed on by a smoker. If around smoke for long, I get nauseous, get a sore throat and have even been known to lose my voice.

Even more repulsive than the smoking itself is trying in vain to cover it up. Smokers don't seem to realize that non-smokers can smell cigarettes on them no matter how much mouthwash they gargle or clean clothes they wear.

It's an addiction, and I appreciate that, just not my addiction nor my choice of addictions for a SO. ;) I won't say "it's for idiots" - that's pretty harsh and I think many people who are addicted started when they were idiots - a.k.a. teenagers (ah the folly of youth). :D So, I will cut them some slack there. However, that still doesn't mean I have to date them or be around them. I wish they'd outlaw smoking in bars and restaurants here. Might make me go out clubbing and bar hopping more often. :p

I need to agree with feelgood here. It is very dissrespectfull to force your ideals on your partner no matter how widely accepted you belive them to be.

If i honestly thought she was the right girl for me and we were gonna settle down with eachother..Then I would atleast try to quit..I would like to quit, But it's easier said than done.

I realize that if a person smokes cig's, They have to want too quit for it to work..Not because someone is asking them to quit or wanting them to quit.

I think about quitting all the time..But i am single and i think that the support and motivation would help in me staying smoke free.

There is only 1 time that i actually enjoy a Cig and that's after i eat..Unfortunatly (sp?) I think it's that one cig that i enjoy that has always put the brakes on quitting.