VitaminH

Ok so I'll admit it. I am dense. Like, really dense. I can't tell when girls are sendin me signals. Anywho I'd been flirting with a lady at school for awhile, she seemed really interested in me. My courtship was going well and I was about to make the move and try to get her to go to dinner with me or somesuch. Last Friday rolls around and she's telling me how she has nothing to do that night and just sort of looks at me. That little voice in my head was SCREAMING "this is your chance." I did nothing. 1) because I am an idiot. 2) I'd promised my roomate I'd meet her for dinner when she got off work (her first day at a new job, I had no way to call and cancel and didnt want to just stnad her up).

So we said our goodbyes and went our seperate ways. I came up with the plan of calling her sat and seeing if she wanted to at least get lunch with me sometime over the weekend. I bring it up with my roomate. She's a girl, she'll know what to do right? Well she's currently pursuing/being pursued by a fella and he's sort of playing hard to get i guess? It's driving her nuts but she loves it. She advises me I should do the same and tells me I definatly should NOT call her over the weekend. So i didnt. Seems to be a mistake. Now this week the girlie seems somewaht off to me and less interested.

What do I do? She just generally seems colder and I'm afraid to make the move now. I am a wimp.

__________________
"Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever."
- Napoleon Bonaparte

Qazwsxedc

just make your move now. What do you have to lose? if she shoots you down then you move on.

Maybe she seems colder to you b/c she has something else on her mind?

Either way, one day/weekend won't change your chances that dramatically.

sailor

Make your move, man. Just go up to her one day (preferably not on thursday or friday--she may have plans), and ask her if she wants to go for coffee or something. You have nothing to lose, the worst that could happen is she could say no.

__________________
"Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws."
--Plato

WarWagon

Playing hard to get may be fun for some girls, but there are plenty of others that aren't into those kind of mind games. Definitely give her a call, I'm sure she'll be much happier actually going on a date than sitting at home.

VitaminH

Aye, it's noones fault but mine own, I feel like I am just looking to scapegoat my roomate for her bad advice because I don't want to accept responsibility for my timidness in this. Normally I am not so cautious, but this is a girl in my class of 150 students, who I guess I fear forming an awkword situation with since I see her and her friends, and share some friends with her every day...

__________________
"Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever."
- Napoleon Bonaparte

motdakasha

It sounds like she took your non-invite as a signal that you're not interested. When she looked at you, you could have said something to the effect of "oh bummer, i already have plans. how about we do something next weekend?"

Based on your story, you sound like you're an Ice Queen. She opened up, you remained closed. If you showed any sign of interest, she'd probably warm up to you again.

She has to know you're interested first before you can play high school mind games on her.

__________________
=^-^= motdakasha =^-^=
Just Google It.
BA Psychology & Photography
(I'm not going psychoanalyze you nor will I let you cry on my shoulder. Have a nice day.)

RoboBlaster

Yeah, the situation is definitely salvageable, but it'll take some work. And please, don't jerk her around. We're talking about people's feelings here. A relationship born out of mind games will most likely end with them too.

water_boy1999

Step up to the plate. What is so intimidating about a cup of coffee.?

__________________
Doh!!!!


-Homer Simpson

Bossnass

Perhaps the roommate gave you said advice with alterior motives? That seems like a can of worms.

Step up and play ball with the girl that's interested in you. A class of 150 is plenty big enough to mutually ignore each other if things get ackward.

VitaminH

Well I'm not aiming to play mind games I prefer a direct approach. I guess I won't listen to her advice anymore, I just thought since she was a girl and I never seem to understand girls maybe she was right. This whole issue is crap. I'll see her this afternoon I'm just throwing it out there.

__________________
"Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever."
- Napoleon Bonaparte

Blackthorn

Open your cake hole and make noise that sounds like words coming from a normal mouth that seem to express something like this: "Hey would you like to grab lunch sometime this weekend...maybe Sunday afternoon? I know a great little place across from...blah blah blah".

Like the commercial says....JUST DO IT!

__________________
What are you willing to give up in order to get what you want?

2kids1headache

Absodamnlutely!

It doesn't sound like you have any problems with signal reception. You got the go-ahead sign clear enough. Your problem is acting on it. Maybe you're afraid to act. Maybe part of you wants to be the one in control, the one giving out the signals. Maybe a lot of things.

The definite: If you're interested, you should ask her out. If she claims to be busy one night, imitate familiar movie/sitcom scenes and keep suggesting alternate nights until she says yes.

GET STARTED!

dfence

If you don't go for it, you will regret it.

Please tell us what happens.

Church

How do you know your g/f isn't playing the same card on you? If both play hard to get, one of you has to cave at some point or another or else your relationship is doomed.

__________________
Through counter-intelligence, it should be possible to pinpoint potential trouble makers, and neutralize them.

Litespeed

I hate these games.
Don't play along. Give her a call. Tell her you're interested. Go for it. It's never too late.

If she isn't interested, move on.
No point in agonizing over the stupid stuff.

VitaminH

Well thats what I did. It's on. I had nothing to worry about and it appears I never should have listened to my roomate in the first place, else this all would have been over sooner. Thanks for the encouragment mates.

__________________
"Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever."
- Napoleon Bonaparte

RoboBlaster

Awesome! Congratulations, bro. Let us all learn from this: don't overthink!

Litespeed

yay!!
Tell us how it goes!