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Old 02-25-2004, 02:12 PM   #1 (permalink)
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The influence of faith on sexual experience

Hmm. I was looking at a thread in Philosophy where people were talking about their belief systems... And I got to thinking. Granted, I did not run a statistic on this, but it seems to me that a lot of the people who said they did not believe in God, any supreme being at all, or had an alternate perspective, were also the people who seem to have - based on discussions in this forum - quite wild sex. Yes, I realize that this topic can go the wrong way really fast, but bear with me for a sec... Do you think our spiritual/religious beliefs play a part in how we experience our sexual, uh, encounters? Theoretically, that's BS of course - and to claim otherwise would be to put people in stereotypes. But... While I have not had a relationship with a deeply religious person, someone else here probably has, and I am interested to hear as to whether they were more inhibited in the bedroom or about public displays of affection than the average not-so-deeply-into-God person.

I apologize if someone with a deep faith in a religion such as Christianity or Catholism finds this offensive. That is not my intention, but it is hard to ask such a question without getting close to certain lines.
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Old 02-25-2004, 02:48 PM   #2 (permalink)
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It has been my experience that it can kind of put a film over someone's sexuality (i.e. if they are scared of it, it can be a handy way to duck the issue or it can cause people to fear the more wild side of their personalities). In practice though, people's sexuality tends to come out.

I had one deeply religious girlfriend who felt guilty about it everytime but get her in a hottub, and it was like flipping a switch. Another girl I was with who was absolutely the girl most passionate about sex was a serious Southern Baptist. She was sleeping with me on the side without her boyfriend knowing, so she didn't let her religious side get in the way. I have also dated some girls who were religious that it took away their sexuality (i.e. I never got the sense that they even thought about sex). One girl like this took me to see The Little Mermaid on our first date. She was so absolutely wholesome that I couldn't stand it.

My wife on the other hand was a virgin when we got married, but we were regularly getting each other off through other means prior to the wedding date. She was very passionate but just needed the right person to open it up.

I have also dated girls who weren't religious, and they varied from the absolutely slutty fun girls to the wet blanket girls.

I guess I'm saying that I don't really see much of a correlation. One of the places here in Oklahoma where many people lost their virginities as teenagers is the Falls Creek Baptist Camp in south central Oklahoma. This camp was so strict that girls were not allowed to wear shorts, yet it was a very hot place for sexual exploration. Everytime I hear the line "and this one time at band camp..." I think of Falls Creek.
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Old 02-25-2004, 04:47 PM   #3 (permalink)
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That's funny, because as most of you know, Raeanna & I are married swingers. We were also raised strict Baptists. We both STILL believe in God, although certain things of the baptist belief have been called in to question in the past couple years for us. i won't get in to that. It's also kind of funny, because several of the couples we play with have religious backgrounds as well. Maybe not as strict as ours, but you know what I'm saying.
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Old 02-25-2004, 08:14 PM   #4 (permalink)
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I follow no real religious doctine...my faith is internal, and not associated with any institution.

There is something so inherently spiritual about sex. I can't disassociate the two...it's like seeing something sacred. I'm probably not making sense...I haven't eaten.
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Old 02-25-2004, 09:54 PM   #5 (permalink)
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I understand it. I tell my wife the same thing. She used to worry about technique rather than getting the intense feelings that go along with it. Technique is important of course but not to the detriment of enjoying it more. She is finally starting to see how intense it can really be.
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Old 02-25-2004, 10:37 PM   #6 (permalink)
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i was raised as a baptist. and even when my family didn't go to church, we still "practiced" our religion at home. my grandfather was a baptist preacher for 50 years, and both my parents still hold strongly to their "faith" and "moral religious standards". i think my religious upbrining/background did prohibit me from sexual activity for a long time. now i'm over it though.
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Old 02-25-2004, 10:44 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Sounds like a generalization based on the fallacy of positive instances ("[tendency] to notice and remember events that confirm our expectations and ignore those that are nonconfirming. http://jws-edcv.wiley.com/college/bc...10565_,00.html)

If you pay more attention, I'm sure you'll find just as many religious people who experience "wild sex" as those who are nonreligious. If you live in the bible belt or new orleans, I'm sure it'll be more difficult to find. However, if you broaden your perspective to the country, then it's probably even. Or, statistically speaking, there will be more religious people who have wild sex than nonreligious (since the US is predominantly religious). Those religious people who do have wild sex, I imagine, are probably less inclined to talk openly about their experiences. So the only way you'd be able to figure this out accurately is by a randomly selected representative sample of the entire US with an unbiased survey/test.
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Old 02-26-2004, 12:35 AM   #8 (permalink)
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I'm 100% with motdakasha here. I don't think there's any correlation whatsoever.
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Old 02-26-2004, 01:53 AM   #9 (permalink)
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I can't speak for anyone else, but I am a believer and at the same time exploring a BDSM relationship.

Does that sound tame to you?

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Old 02-26-2004, 10:13 AM   #10 (permalink)
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I lost my virginity to a girl who was raised in a very strict Mormon household. Though that was a little like dating a preacher's daughter--she was all about rebellion.

The couple that lurkette and I are fooling around with are very, very Jewish. I gave her away at their vow-renewal last year, which was the first time I've ever attended a Jewish wedding.

Whereas neither lurkette nor I are particularly religious.
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Old 02-29-2004, 10:41 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Well, I have never had much wild sex, and I am not deeply religious either - I dont know whats going on!
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Old 02-29-2004, 12:21 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Obviously those who are strongly dogmatic towards more conservative religions will have their experience diminished since many such religions have allot of restrictions on sex, up to the point where the believers are told that they will be tortured for infinity in the pits of the underworld if they so much as have a little bit of pleasure during the act…

…But if the religion allows, then it could actually improve the sensual experience between lovers. As sharing a common view of the world helps to build a bond between the lovers and thus increase the level of intimacy.
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Old 02-29-2004, 08:27 PM   #13 (permalink)
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I have faith I'll have another sexual experience. Does that count?
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Old 02-29-2004, 10:06 PM   #14 (permalink)
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While I've never been much of a believer, I know swingers who are.
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Old 03-01-2004, 06:55 PM   #15 (permalink)
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LOL, Falls Creek. Man, I've heard so many stories about that place. (fellow okie here) It is crazy to find a Falls Creek reference here on TFP. Made my day.

yeah, they had a lot of strict type rules... but apparently there was very little supervision.
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Old 03-02-2004, 07:04 AM   #16 (permalink)
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Interesting thread. I've been thinking about this topic lately on a more personal level because I am naturally a pretty uninhibited person sexually. Yet, I have started a path back (from paganism) to a Christian spirituality and I am having a hard time trying to figure out how my sexuality fits into place in the equation. If anyone has a take on this please let me know.
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Old 03-02-2004, 06:31 PM   #17 (permalink)
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my girlfriend and I were both raised Catholic. premarital sex is really looked down upon by our religion. so while neither one of us don't personally see anything wrong with what we are doing, and view our sex life as a perfectly natural thing, i would be lying if i said it didn't influence our sex life in some way. just knowing that we have to keep it a secret from our little "Catholic Community" because we would be looked down upon, makes it seem like we are wrong, and therefore makes our sex life a little more tame than others.

i don't know....its kind of hard to explain. but yes, i think religion does in some way have an effect on sexual experience.
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Old 03-02-2004, 06:36 PM   #18 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by lucidity
Yet, I have started a path back (from paganism) to a Christian spirituality and I am having a hard time trying to figure out how my sexuality fits into place in the equation. If anyone has a take on this please let me know.
Personally, I'm not religious, but I feel that many of the western religions (read: Ones relating to Jesus or the Holy Trinity) do not allow for sexuality, especially not for variation or deviation. I hope you can find a variation of religion that suits you.
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