hannukah harry

so i'm interested in this girl, woman, whatever... she's my age 24/25, and has two kids from a previous marriage. i think there's intrest on both sides (well, i know i'm interested, can just guess about her), but i'm not so sure on this whole kid thing.

what are things that i need to consider in dating someone with kids? pro's, cons, anything i need to make sure i consider?

any advice is appreciated, thanks!

HH

Shadowman

Only one thing I can mention, don't try and be dad. Trying to fill the void where the true father is meant to be will just make things harder. Be friends with her children, but don't try and fill that fatherly role, at least not until your very serious about the relationship, and can see it going beyond dating status.

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Shadowman

raeanna74

Also expect her to back out on a date here or there. Finding a sitter you can rely on is a real hard thing to do. Maybe try to take her someplace that she can take the kids with and suggest she do so. Don't do it all the time but sometimes not having to worry about a sitter is a relief. Maybe MAYBE with her approval you could help find a sitter. Like if you have sister or friend who's good with kids and willing to do it. Help out with paying this sitter if you can too. She may put the kids first before your relationship. Don't get upset about this. She's had ONLY the kids to care for during this time. She is responsible for them. Be patient and you could end up with a wonderful woman and kids too.

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"Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama
My Karma just ran over your Dogma.

rocinante2003

I have been in this situation, and still am. be yourself, understanding and as patient as possible. Shadowman hit the nail on the head when he said dont try to be dad. I was extreamly lucky with my better halfs kids, because we get along brilliantly. 5 years down the road, and the kids and me have a brilliant bond that is strong and full of love.

If the kids are very young, dont rush into the relationship unless you just know the mom and you have a fair crack at making it work. The children will probably really like you after a short time, and if you and the mom dont work out, it may be a loss to the kids too. be smart, and honestly, your a good guy for not overlooking a single parent as a partner. Good luck.

floydthebarber

Remember that her kids are going to be number one in her book. Plans will be changed, things will not be as smooth as dating someone without kids. I hope it works out for you two....err four.

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gabshu

Make sure they like you. I always hated my dad's girlsfriends and it was a pain in the ass. If they're like me they'll try really hard to test you. Just be nice and realize this is a very important (if not the most important, part of her life)

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Go Kool Aid. OH YEAAHH

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Holo

you will always be a swinging dick compared to her kids, unless she's one of those cunts that fuck off her kids to be with some dick. If she's one of those run away before you make her children hate her even more. If you can handle taking a back seat to the kids 90% of the time then go for it.

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I happen to like the words "fuck", "cock", "pussy", "tits", "cunt", "twat", "shit" and even "bitch". As long as I am not using them to describe you, don't go telling me whether or not I can/should use them...that is, if you want me to continue refraining from using them to describe you. ~Prince

tec-9-7

I'd suggest NOT trying to be a part of her kid's life unless and until you are pretty serious about this woman. Divorce is rough enough on kids w/o a parade of guys trooping in and out of their lives.

runawayfetus

make sure u get the kids to like you... so do cool things with them or what not

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doncalypso

I hate to sound prejudiced or bigotted, but I could never see myself dating or marrying someone who already has children (at least not now anyways).

First of all I hate children (hopefully that will change by the time I'm old enough and ready to have some of my own), and second of all I would definitely not be comfortable with raising another man's children.

I currently wouldn't have the patience to deal with children if they were my own... much less if the were another man's kids.

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Doncalypso... the one and only Haitian Sensation

forecheck

You know what I would do? Talk to her and ask her. Start the relationship with honesty at the beginning.